It Isn’t a Family Reunion Without Hatchet Throwing


As you read last time, my family reunions are always one that bring the unexpected and some hilarious moments.  Most of our activities are unplanned, like 15 of us taking up an entire row at the movies to see Jurassic World, or the epic Cards Against Humanity game.  I am always amazed that we can find the most bizarre and often country things to do.  My family is always what I describe as “country” and for those who don’t know, yes there IS a difference between “country” and “redneck”.  BFF didn’t believe me till she looked online and found out I (for once) was right.  Go ahead and GTS that and see for yourself.  So being we were out near my Aunty T’s farm, I knew things might get a little crazy and sure enough, one night there was a wholesome family activity of hatchet throwing.  Yup.  You read that right…hatchet throwing.  What?  Your family doesn’t do this at their family reunion?  Apparently ours does…

I am not sure how the subject even came up but all of a sudden, my Daddy is pulling out a homemade target in the outline of a human for people to throw the hatchet at…wait…..are we preparing for the zombie apocalypse or training a bunch of murderers?  Either way, this skill might prove handy someday.  I mean, you never know during the zombie outbreak when throwing a hatchet might come in handy.  It is quiet, and would take the head shot needed to kill a zombie without attracting other zombies.  So, I was all for watching and learning how to throw the hatchet.  The enthusiasm with which my family embraced this activity without any qualms was a little frightening.  Maybe they all want to be prepared for when the zombie plague happens as well.  Either that or there will soon be a rash outbreak of murder by hatchets in Iowa and we will know who is to blame.  Despite my thoughts of what might possibly be wrong with my family, I proceeded to watch and join in on the hatchet throwing.

My Daddy showing the rest of us how to get the perfect head shot on a zombie...I mean hit the target
My Daddy showing the rest of us how to get the perfect head shot on a zombie…I mean hit the target

Now, this hatchet throwing was not just for the older generation.  We even decided to let the little ones give it a go and throw the hatchet at the human target.  Hey…they need to learn how to defend themselves too ya know.  I mean, I don’t want my little cousins not knowing how to get out of a zombie jam if they can’t help it.  It is a vital concern.  The kids were surprisingly good, each hitting the target quite violently with their first try.  I was not so lucky….I finally hit the target the 3rd time, but not nearly with the anger or velocity as my baby cousins.  Guess I need to channel some of their energy into my throwing.  I was surprised, actually, at how hard it was to hit the target so I need to obviously practice on my head shots so I can survive.

My sweet baby cousin (also my mini-me) showin g us all how it is done with one throw.  I want her on my apocalypse team....
My sweet baby cousin (also my mini-me) showing us all how it is done with one throw. I want her on my apocalypse team….

Pretty soon, this happened.  I will just leave it there.  The pic really speaks for itself.  Prepared family I tell ya.

I have no words....I love the boys in our family
I have no words….I love the boys in our family

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I did however contemplate planning future family activities vs letting us come up with our own since we do things like train our children to be dead shots with a hatchet.  I am Fat Girl with a hatchet throwing, gun-toting kind of family reunion Running.  The experiment continues…

Running and Zombies….The Awesomest Idea EVER!


I was at work briefly the other day delivering Avon and a co-worker of mine said the only way she would run is if something were chasing her.  It is in this moment we discovered the awesomest idea for a 5K ever!  I so wanna do it if my body will let me.  This actually tops the Tinkerbell 5K for me but only slightly.  It literally is called the Run For Your Lives and incorporates two things…running and zombies.  How awesome is that?  Seriously.  It is a 5K and an obstacle course, complete with zombies.  Check it out.  http://runforyourlives.com/  I kid you not.  Pretty sure I need to do this one if I can only get my knee and foot to cooperate.  Not only can you opt to be a runner, but you can volunteer to be a zombie.  Pretty sure I am in zombie heaven.  I could so go for this 5K.

For those of you who are unaware, I have an unnatural affection for the undead.  I seriously love zombie movies, shows, graphic novels…everything zombies.  Sunday nights are my new favorite night on TV due to the awesome show The Walking Dead. Having been a fan and owner of all the graphic novels, the show just feeds my need to see undead eat brains.  What?  It’s cool.  I mean, come on….who wouldn’t wanna eat flesh off of live people?  Halloween time on tv is also the bomb as all the zombie movies are shown and they also rock, especially the original Dawn Of The Dead by George Romero.  If you haven’t seen it, you must.  At least I know I will be prepared for the inevitable zombie apocalypse.  I have studied how to stay alive.  Have you?  Well, if you haven’t then you will be among the first wave of people to succumb to the flesh-eating walking dead.  I advise you to start your training now.  You never know when the virus will hit.  Pretty sure that the government already has it and is just trying to keep it under wraps.  If you haven’t started looking at survival for the zombie apocalypse then I suggest you find a friend who has.  There are lots of us out there.  We will survive for sure.  Here are some tips for you:

It never hurts to be prepared!  I cannot even begin to understand why or how this fascination with zombies began but truly it is an obsession.  Hence why the Run For Your Lives would be AWESOME!  I just wanna see how adept my skills are at dodging the undead.  I mean, I have to be faster than some of the slow straggler dazed zombies, right?  I mean we know sometimes the Motorized Wheelchair Man beats me in a foot race, but if I were running from something other than SOTL man, I am pretty sure I would run faster than I think.  Especially if what was coming after me was the undead trying to eat me.  I really don’t wanna be a zombie idea of a Happy meal (although pretty sure I am kinda meaty) cuz I definitely am more than Chicken McNugget size.  Hmmmm……maybe this is the key to not being a fatty. Training for the zombie invasion.  Might have to give it a try!

Off to enjoy the trick or treaters now along with the great Halloween movies and spooky stuff on tv!  Enjoy one of my favorite holidays!

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I plotted how to avoid becoming a zombie but didn’t die. I am fat girl avoiding the undead running.  The experiment continues….