As you may all know, every year I go to the ultimate
ninja nerdfest that is Phoenix Comicon to hone my ever powerful ninja nerdy Fat Girl skills. This year was no different. One of the reasons I go is because…yes…you guessed it…Wil Wheaton. I mean come on…who wouldn’t be excited to be in the same building as Wil Wheaton? Bubby’s Pocket GF also shares the obsession love that BFF and I have for Wil and it was her goal this year to get his autograph. A few days before we left to go down to the sweltering abyss that is Phoenix, I decided to check out the prices of actually doing an official photo op with him and to my surprise it was quite affordable. It was only $20 to be close enough to Wil to get a photo taken and we could get all four of us in the photo!! WHAT?? Oh this was so happening. We decided to see when he was doing photo ops so as to fit it into our schedule (remember you MUST plan out your con experience) but it was happening. Oh yes. It was happening.
We all venture into the cesspool that is Phoenix to make our nerd dreams come true and Thursday night we see that there is an opportunity for photos on Friday. I check online and there it is…the opportunity of a few glorious minutes of our lives available for purchase for only $20. It was quickly purchased and jumps in the air were achieved. I believe a dance of joy even happened Fat Girl style. I barely contain my excitement for Friday afternoon and as we got in line we were all excited to get to stand close to Wil Wheaton. Standing in line was a whole different experience. We spent some time discussing whether or not the girl directly across from us in line dressed as an avatar was covered in just body paint or a body stocking because it was hard to tell (for the record it was JUST body paint on the top and a painted body stocking on the bottom. At least her nipples were covered). Of course there were some parents of the year in front of us who allowed their child to run his tongue on the handrail repeatedly. Ew. So gross. They might have earned a spot on my list of worst parents. And as if the child running his tongue on the handrail wasn’t bad enough, we actually witnessed the Mom flossing her teeth in line. Pretty sure I threw up in my mouth a little bit. Having never done an official photo op with anyone before (our other photo with Wil was done by the graciousness of his heart when he autographed photos for us), we were unsure what to expect. Would we be herded through like cattle? Would we get a photo with our eyes closed or a booger hanging out of our noses? We were surprised they provided us with buckets to put our stuff in so our bag of sacks wouldn’t be in the picture and also a large mirror so we could check for hanging boogers or lunch in your teeth (I could have asked that gal in front of us to borrow her floss). We rounded the corner and I saw him…WIL WHEATON…and realized I should have gone pee. I was really hoping that I would not create a puddle near Wil’s feet as we take a photo. OMG…this was so happening. One last check of hair, teeth and noses and we were ready.
We walk up to Wil Wheaton and I immediately feel like my tongue has become glued to my mouth and no words are going to come out but my nervous hysterical giggle I get in such occasions just might make an appearance. Oh great. I am gonna look like a complete and total idiot giggling hysterically while peeing my pants. Or my cheesy Fat Girl Disney face might happen. Seriously. I am hopeless. At this point I am hoping I don’t trip, stutter, or accidentally grab his ass in an attempt to take a non cheesy picture. Wil turns to me and BFF and says “Oh you two are the sparkliest superheroes ever!” Then he spots Pocket GF, whose excitement has overcome her and she has approached with her hands over her ears barely containing her excitement and is speechless, and says “Are you ok?” Realizing that neither myself or Pocket GF has the ability to speak right at that moment besides maybe meowing in a desperate attempt at speech, BFF speaks up and says “It is the realization of a dream come true for her for the past two years to meet you.” Wil, being the ever gracious man he is to his fans, says “Aren’t you adorable!” And then it happens. Wil sticks out his hand and says to Pocket GF “Hi! I’m Wil!” and shakes her hand. It was all I could do right then not to do a Fat Girl Dance Of Joy for her. Picture was taken and Wil again says what a pleasure our group was. Trying to not look nerdy we all thank him and then Pocket GF and I jump up and down in true fan girl excitement and give a huge double high-five. We might have been in full view of Wil Wheaton but we just didn’t care. What just happened? The most incredible experience in all our lives is what! And our picture shows it…thank goodness I didn’t pee.
I cannot even begin to describe the gloriousness that this moment was but trust me in saying it was made of awesome sauce. It will forever be a step closer to actually being able to use my mouth to form words to tell Wil Wheaton about my blog and how I stalk him sometimes in it. Some call it stalking. I call it love. And now to wait another year…sigh.
Oh yeah. I didn’t die today. Well, I almost did die of fan girl excitement in meeting Wil Wheaton (and yes I shamelessly tagged his twitter in an attempt to get him to read this) but I didn’t die. I am Fat Girl having a truly nerdy dream come true and not peeing my pants while achieving it running. The experiment continues…