Comicon Creepers And How BFF And I Couldn’t Escape


Earlier this month, BFF and I returned to the Giant Nerdfest that is Phoenix Comicon to get our geek on and squee like the fangirls we are over different celebrities.  We also might have shopped till we dropped (such great geek shopping there, no joke).  Unfortunately for us, it also happened to be during a heat wave in what we have now termed the Devil’s Butthole.  There was even a hot wind so it felt like you were walking in an oven.  So not enjoyable.  But luckily, we were inside for most of the time and did not have to deal with the heat too much.  What we did have to deal with was the people.  And not just any people…some of these people were the creepers of the world.  The weird socially awkward types.  You know what I mean.  The kind of people who you usually shy away from in a social setting because they make you feel so uncomfortable.  Or you try to run away from but don’t want to seem rude.  BFF and I unfortunately had this experience this year at Comicon.  One that made us feel like we needed a creep detector.  It was not pleasant.

On the last day of Comicon, BFF and I decided the last minute to purchase a photo-op with one of the actresses from a BBC Doctor Who spin-off, Torchwood.  This meant we had some time between the last panel we went to go see and the photo op, so we decided to get some food and find a table to sit down and shove it in our gobs.  All the other days, we had left the convention to eat at some amazing pubs where we could consume some alcohol (which makes dealing with all the people at one of these events a lot easier) but seeing how we were driving home after our photo, we decided staying at the convention and eating there was easier.  We got our food and saw some seats open at a large table, so we went and grabbed them.  I sat next to this older guy and BFF had the luck of having the seat next to her empty.  We proceeded to start to shovel food in our mouths when the guy next to me starts talking.  I thought he was talking to someone else when all of a sudden I realized he was talking to me.  About Star Wars action figures.  Seriously Creeper Comicon Dude?  You don’t even know me or even took the time to introduce yourself.  Just started talking out of the blue to no one in particular but staring at me.  Why me?  I stopped mid bite to stare at this guy with what I am sure was either RBF or shock as he kept talking.  About Star Wars action figures.  How much is there to say about Star Wars action figures?  Apparently a lot.  After my initial shock wore off and BFF and I continued eating, I even turned slightly in my chair toward her, giving him my back.  What would that say to you?  Would it say keep talking or would you take that as a hint that I really did not give a care about your Star Wars action figures?  He kept talking.  Also, this guy was like 20 years my senior…no joke….rambling on and on about the action figures he couldn’t find at the convention.  Um….hello….I am eating here.  Go away.  Do not speak to me Creeper.

At this point, as BFF and I continue to eat while making pointed eyes at each other, Creeper Comicon Dude (CCD as we shall now call him) pulls out his phone to actually show me exactly what he is talking about and how much he has seen these sets going for outside the convention.  Now what am I supposed to do with this?  I don’t want to seem rude, so I feign interest and nod while I hurriedly shove more food in my face because I want to leave as soon as possible.  Wrong move on my part.  CCD took this as that I was truly interested.  Oh help me.  He started going on and on about a certain set of Star Wars action figures that is rare and how nobody has it and he can’t believe nobody has it here in the vendor hall.  I cannot eat any faster at this point.  BFF is trying not to laugh next to me but she understood my need to escape. She saw the desperation in my eyes as I turned towards her silently signaling that I needed help and eats faster than I have ever seen her, frantically shoving nachos in her mouth.  I almost burst into laughter at this point as she tried to shove like 10 nachos in her mouth at once so we could leave.  The silent language between us is crazy sometimes. As I watch her put so many nachos in her mouth that she looks like a chipmunk, CCD starts to pull out the action figures he has purchased to show us and I quickly stand up.  He continues to talk as I nod to say goodbye and say “Have a nice Con.” As BFF, who is still trying to fit as many nachos as she can into her mouth at once, and I walk away, he is still talking out loud about the action figures.  I can’t make this stuff up.

BFF and I are now laughing and trying to decide in his own creeper way if he was trying to flirt with me as we get in line to get our picture taken with Eve Myles.  I am not sure.  I mean he was nice but so socially awkward that maybe he was trying to flirt.  Or maybe he was just a talker and could not tell that I was not in the mood to people.  Especially with a Creeper Comicon Dude.  It is hard to tell.  As we walked back through the hall to leave after our photo, CCD was still sitting at the table and waved at us as we walked by like he wanted us to come back over and sit with him.  Nope.  Hard pass.

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Us with Eve Myles from Torchwood.  Could I be any more excited?

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I did learn more about Star Wars action figures than I ever wanted to know but I didn’t die.  I am Fat Girl who didn’t want to people with Creeper Comicon Dude but just wanted to eat in peace Running.  The experiment continues…

Why BFF and I Do Not Like to People


At the beginning of December, BFF and I decided to try something new…you see Phoenix Comicon had started doing a FanFest last December and our inner geeks were dying to go and get our geek on so we went.  I would say this was like Comicon Lite….a smaller version of the main event in June but with a smaller venue, fewer guests and such.  It is even held at a completely different place than the main one.  We were pretty stoked though, as December means BBC isn’t filming and so this means a lot of BBC stars were going to be at FanFest.  We were most excited about two in particular:  for BFF it was Gareth David-Lloyd (Ianto from Torchwood) and for myself it was Karen Gillian (Amy Pond from Doctor Who).  So, reservations were made, photo ops purchased and the planning began.  You all know how BFF and I hate to people but really we hate to people in large crowds and any type of event like this was sure to bring people and not just any people…Comicon people.  Let’s be honest….you have read before about the strange people we meet at Comicon and this was no exception.  One such incident really stressed why BFF and I do not like to people in this case.

Since this was a smaller event, the main panels were in a largish room, but not as huge as the ballrooms at the convention center.  We discovered that this meant not as many people in the panels and you could basically get pretty close to the front without having to wait through the entire day, which I must admit was kind of nice.  We had decided to go to a film screening the first day that Gareth David-Lloyd was starring in and hosting the panel afterwards.  We had arrived early during another panel (per usual and before we realized we probably didn’t have to do so) and moved up when that panel was over to the 3rd row to get a get view of the screen and of course Gareth himself during the panel.  You have to understand something here…BFF is obsessed with Ianto Jones.  About as much as she is obsessed with Barrowman.  Like legit obsessed.  I was afraid she would lick him or something during our photo op but luckily she contained herself and just squealed and jumped up and down afterwards (it was pretty adorable).  So there we were, minding our own business, waiting the 30 minutes before the film screening to start when the incident happened.

BFF was crocheting Stormtroopers to give to her family for Christmas and I was messing around on Facebook and Snapchat (follow me there for funny stuff  ——> ladymiryaa).  No really, BFF was crocheting Stormtroopers.  Except for they didn’t have arms so they looked….well….like a penis.  No joke, BFF turned to me and asked me what it looked like and without hesitation, I answered “A Dicktrooper”….hence they became known as Dicktroopers till they got their arms attached.  No joke.  Judge for yourself.

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Admit it…it looks like a penis.  #dicktrooper

Like I said, we were minding our own business, when a lady came up and asked if the seats next to us were taken.  We were the only ones in the entire row.  Do we look like we have that many friends?  Nope.  Seats aren’t taken.  Much to BFF’s chagrin, Strange Lady sits right NEXT to her…no comfort chair between them…and let’s just say she is not a small lady.  She practically sat ON BFF.  I looked around to see if there were other seats this Strange Lady could have taken…pretty sure most of the room was empty.  Unfortunately for BFF, this Strange Lady was a talker.  Like a she won’t shut up no matter how much you ignore her or have RBF talker.  I actually leaned over to BFF at one point and asked her if she wanted to switch seats but she said no.  She should have taken me up on it.  BFF has since stated that she is the Wife of the Mayor of Poopsville (remember him??)  and I believe her.  Poor BFF.  She was forced to make small talk with the Wife of the Mayor of Poopsville even though she didn’t want to people right then.  At all.  She was soon spared more chitter chatter when the film started and she shut the fuck up.

After the film was over, Gareth David-Lloyd and the guys who made the film held a panel where people could ask questions and they could talk about the film.  It was awesome.  So if you ever get a chance to see the movie I Am Alone, do it.  You won’t regret it. let me tell you something about BFF and I when it comes to panels at a Comicon event.  There is NO WAY IN HELL we are going to get up and ask as question.  Ummm…nope.  Hard pass.  We just enjoy listening to the questions others as and the answers the panelists give.  Our introvertness would never allow us to get up and do something like that in public.  So we sat, listened and endured the Wife of the Mayor of Poopsville, who by the way, had finally moved over enough to where she was not sitting on top of BFF.  The panel ended and the moderator told all those that had asked a question to come up and see him (remember way smaller group of people).  We packed up our stuff quickly and tried to get the hell away from the Wife of the Mayor of Poopsville.  As we were walking out, we heard her say “Nurse?  Oh Nurse? Excuse me Nurse?” (at some point BFF had said she was a nurse to her) and I think we both groaned out loud.   We turned around to see her frantically trying to catch up with us and as she did she asked us the most bizarre question.  The conversation went something like this:

WotMP:  “When you go up to get your prize for asking a question, can I have it?”

BFF (with severe RBF and super annoyed now):  “I didn’t ask a question.”

WotMP (confusion on her face):  “Yes you did.  And the moderator said you should go up and get something.  Can I have whatever you get?”

BFF (Murderface has now replaced RBF and she might punch this lady in the vagina):  “I did not ask a question.” (mind you we are still walking at this point) followed quickly by me stating: “No she didn’t.”

WotMP (even more confused and adamant): “Yes you did!”

Me (now I am pissed and want to punch her in the throat and the vagina):  “No she didn’t.  And she never would. So go away.”

At this point we were able to walk away from WotMP and out of the room and looked at each other incredulously.  First off, who the fuck are you to ask us if you can have whatever swag or photo or whatever was being given out for asking questions in a small panel?  We don’t know you.  Neither one of us asked a question.  Not once.  We might have drooled over Gareth but NEVER would we have asked a question.  Secondly, don’t you think we are fans too?  We would probably want whatever was being given to us for asking a question so why the fuck would we give it to you?  Go away.  We are not friends.  And lastly…who the fuck do you think you are?  Rude.  Can you not tell we don’t like to people?  OMG….you cannot sit with us.  Period.  Rude.

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You can’t sit with us.  For reals.  Go away WotMP.

This is exactly why BFF and I don’t like to people at events.  Unless we know you.  Nope.  Because of weird rude experiences like this one.  Guess we need to practice our #murderfaces instead like someone else we know (BS girls you know who I am talking about!).  Seriously we don’t like to people.  Despite the WofMP, the day was not a waste because this happened and BFF’s smile says it all:

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Ianto!  He even said “I will be the filling in your sandwich any day!”  Swoon.

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I did however discover that there is a new level to the weird and rude people you can meet at events like Fanfest which almost made me punch someone in the throat and vagina but I didn’t die.  I am Fat Girl working on my #murderface and meeting Ianto Running.  The experiment continues…