I realized today how much I needed to tell you all because I have had a month-long hiatus from blogging. Why? Because I had a deadline for Book 3 to make and it took all my energy. But I am happy to report that Book 3 is now in the hands of Boss Bean!! Can I get a HOLLA!!!! Such a relief. You would think it would be easy with all the blogging I do, but it isn’t at all. So much time is spent picking the blogs, editing, and writing the extras….ok wait. Let me explain what really happens when I go to write because it is nothing like you think.
Most people imagine that writers have this special writing space all carved out and they just sit and ideas magically flow from their fingertips for hours on end without any interruptions. Not this gal. For example, right now, I am stretched out on my couch, laptop on my lap and watching The Amazing Race on Amazon Prime as I write. Sometimes I go to Barnes and Noble, sometimes I go to my office, sometimes I am at work. But I can’t just sit down and make magic with my fingertips (wow…that sounded way dirtier than I intended.). The creative process is actually quite complicated for me. It involves many factors like screwing around on the internet, eating my weight in snacks and staring at an empty page for hours. This is really how it goes.
I really do have good intentions when I sit down to write. I gather the necessities: drink, snacks, laptop, no pants…the very important essentials. I open up my computer and try to get started. Staring into space or at the page happens first for sure. Trying to find words. And then something exciting happens on The Amazing Race or I decide I need to check Facebook. Because those are way more exciting than writing. You know I am right. And then of course I see something like a quiz on Facebook or I need to google something that relates to midget porn (because this might help me write you know…it is research I swear). This is gonna require some time to get through this quiz or “research” before I can start writing again. You never know…this might lead to another quiz because I really do need to know which Disney character I am or if I can master the hardest Disney quiz around (you know I can). Then let’s “research” some more with some popcorn. Cuz don’t you watch your internet porn with popcorn? Maybe I am “researching” how to have magic at my fingertips. You don’t know. Don’t judge. Finally, after much fucking around on the interwebs, I will get back to writing. Then I read what I have written and erase the whole thing cuz it sucks. Then I will have to go check Facebook again or play a game on my phone or pee or eat….anything but write. So then I will stare at the empty page and say “Fuck it.” and close up the computer. A few moments later, I will get an idea, open the laptop and the whole process begins again. Yup this is my reality.
You know what really works for me? The pressure of a deadline or BFF yelling at me to get the damn book done before we go on vacation (wait till you see those blogs and the snapchat videos….hysterical). That is what really and ultimately worked. So there you have it. How I really write. Even writing this blog took me 2 hours because I was screwing around on Facebook and watching Survivor and doing “research”. It happens. I am sure other writers will agree with me. Sometimes we are brilliant and we cannot stop writing, other days we walk away saying “Fuck it”. Look for Book 3 Dec 30th and more blogs to catch you up on my life for the last month!
Oh yeah. I didn’t die today. I did, however, complete book 3 despite the screwing around I did and I am back to blogging! I am Fat Girl gonna go some “research” on magic with my fingertips Running. The experiment continues…