When BFF and I go to the annual Nerdfest that is Phoenix Comicon, we usually spend time shopping in between panels and photo ops. The very first day? Oh no…that is dedicated completely to shopping. The exhibition hall where all the vendors are opens at 4p and we are there, ready to shop till we drop. Why? Because we are girls…NERDY girls. And Comicon is the perfect place for us to get our nerdy shopping on. We actually have certain vendors that we repeatedly shop and search out before we even get there so we know where there booths are. I mean, come on…there are not a lot of places for girls to get things like nerdy jewelry and purses and such like Comicon. The exhibition hall is HUGE. It actually takes us quite a while to get through all the vendors and artists, so that is why we dedicate that first day to just that…shopping. This year, we were completely oblivious to a major incident that occurred while we were in our shopping haze. Apparently, this year, someone had a BIG problem with The Green Power Ranger.
There we were, just minding our own business, wandering around fulfilling our nerdy little shopping desires, when my phone started vibrating in my pocket. I pull it out and notice that it is BFF’s Momma. I was actually quite a bit freaked out by this. Why would her Momma be calling me and not BFF? What was happening? Who died? Is the world ending? Is the zombie apocalypse starting and here we are stuck in the vendor hall with all these people and no escape? Are we going to get eaten? All these questions frantically ran through my brain as I went to answer the phone. In my panicked state that the world was possibly ending, I actually hung up on her Momma and never even got to hear if they were under zombie attack. Luckily, BFF had seen it was her Momma calling when I pulled out my phone and started calling her back right away. My sense of panic rising that maybe the zombie virus had, in fact, been let loose and we were going to need an escape route, I then started scanning for our quickest route out of the nerdy shopping heaven. I had already decided who we could shove in the way of the zombies so that we could get out. The dude dressed as Link would be useful with his bow and arrow, so he could tag along. But the kid dressed as Iron Man…nope. I am so shoving him in front of a zombie so we can escape. I mean, what good is a plastic mask and a puffed up suit to look like muscle? Nothing I tell you when it comes to a zombie eating his face or mine. That fake Iron Man has no value in the zombie apocalypse unless he somehow turns into the real Iron Man. Then I am catching a lift for BFF and me out of there. Also the first to go? The gal dressed as Princess Peach from Super Mario Brothers. Useless. The big poufy dress might help slow some zombies down but I assure you, unless she has weapons stored under that hoop skirt, she is a goner.
Luckily, as BFF was talking to her Momma, I realized I could stop planning our escape route as I heard her say “No we are fine. Why? What is going on? Nope. We haven’t heard anything about that and we haven’t been evacuated and nobody looks like they know. Huh. That is weird. Is everything else ok? No, Momma, we really are ok but we will let you know.” She hung up the phone with a puzzled expression on her face. Her Momma had called because she heard on the TV that a shooter had been taken down at Comicon and arrested. Well, whew. At least it wasn’t zombies. That would be worse. We looked around to see if anyone had any clue that this was happening. Nope. In the vendor hall, it was business as usual, with all sorts of other nerds wandering around in their nerdy shopping haze. Hmmmm. We quickly got on social media and indeed saw that a dude who thought he was The Punisher had brought a bag full of guns to Comicon to apparently kill the actor who plays The Green Power Ranger. Why the Green Power Ranger? What had he done to him? Had he used the wrong color powers? Was the Green Power Ranger inherently evil and I didn’t know it? Wait…did he have the zombie virus and this Punisher dude was trying to protect us? I am still unsure if we ever got the answers to these questions, but at least they got him subdued and arrested before anyone at Con was actually hurt. I still wonder what The Green Power Ranger ever did to this dude to make him want to actually kill him. After the phone call from BFF’s Momma and reading about it on social media, BFF and I decided the nerdy shopping heaven would wait. We peaced out and went back to our hotel. Also, I was still concerned that maybe the Green Power Ranger was a code for zombie apocalypse and needed a better escape plan anyways for the next day. Priorities man.
Oh yeah. I didn’t die today. I did discover that while in the nerdy shopping heaven, you can plan a good escape route in case the zombie apocalypse does start while you are there, but I didn’t die. I am Fat Girl still curious about what the Green Power Ranger ever did to deserve almost dying Running. The experiment continues…