Game Night With The Fat Girl

I love a good board game.  I feel it is one of the best bonding experiences you can have with people.  We played a lot of board games as children…my parents usually had a game night once a week.  Therefore, when birthdays come around in my family, game night is usually the activity of choice for most of us.  This was the case with Pocket GF’s birthday, where we played Geek Battle and just recently with BFF’s birthday where we were introduced to the wonderous game of Cards Against Humanity.  Holy cow….if you have not played this game, then you must.  It is hysterical and also NOT a family game.  This one is for sure for adults only.

So, the basic premise of the game is you are handed answer cards with the most random, absurd and sometimes bordering on racist answers.  A question is played and you pick an answer that you think is the best one (and usually highly inappropriate) and see if your answer is picked.  I am not kidding you in saying that these answers are so random and inappropriate that I have never laughed so hard in my life playing a game.  I am pretty sure we all pulled muscles laughing.  I also loved that half the time, we would play a card and apologize because we knew it was inappropriate or bordering on racist.  Let me give you some examples that might make you cringe, shake your head or laugh out loud.  It’s ok if you do cuz I know we did.  Lots.

The question card was “What is that smell?”  I looked over my answers and had several I could have used.  “Old people”…that is a good one.  Hmmmm….what else do I have.  “sperm whales”…nope that won’t work.  OH!  There it is…the card I cringed a little at playing but started giggling anyways.  I placed it on the table and let Bubby pick it up to read.  He immediately started looking at the cards and shaking his head while laughing.  He almost could not read mine.  Carefully trying not to laugh, he said “What is that smell?  Auschwitz.”  Clear winner for most inappropriate answer.  The next best inappropriate answer was “pixellated bukkake”  Who the hell comes up with these answers?  Do I even want to know when you would answer a question with “Two midgets shitting in a bucket?” or “A Super Soaker filled with cat pee”?  But honestly the winner of the internets that night was BFF when we got the following question:  “Lifetime presents: _______.  The story of ____________.”  Her answer?  “Lifetime presents:  Dying.  The story of Grandma.”  Yup.  That happened.

Other question and answers included:  “What would you bring back in time to prove you were a powerful wizard?  A: Tom Cruise”  “If you were President, what department would you create?  A: Mother fucking wizardry.”  “They said it couldn’t be done.  __________ in _________.  A: A thousand points of light in a sperm whale.”  “Miley Cyrus stars in a Disney Channel Movie where Hannah Montana discovers _____ for the first time.  A:  Pixellated bukkake”  Oh and we had to explain pixellated bukkake to BFF.  For reals.  How the hell do you explain that?   In telling this story to a group of our friends at a party yesterday, one of them even asked Siri what it was…go ahead.  Try it.  You won’t forget that term.  Like ever.  I am pretty sure we might all be going to Hell based on those answers and yet we laughed every single time.  Good times.  We also decided that the card that will ALWAYS win is “Sex with Patrick Stewart”.  Always. Because sex with Patrick Stewart is why.

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I did discover how much laughter can be had in one game and that BFF did not know what pixellated bukkake was but I didn’t die.  I am Fat Girl playing highly inappropriate cards in a game without shame Running.  The experiment continues…