The Adventures Of BFF and Fat Girl at Comicon 2015

I realized that I had yet to tell you of all the fun BFF and I had at Comicon this year.  I have regaled you with tales of BFF getting injured at every turn and told you how not to be a dick but not about what we did so I shall change that now.  Our adventures started with driving down to the hot box that is Phoenix and checking into our hotel.  I must say that BFF and I are hotel snobs so we stayed at a nice hotel…we had even managed to get a cottage room.  For only being gone a weekend, BFF and I sure know how to overpack….we brought like 8 bags!  Ok but one was filled with snacks for Comicon and one was a little cooler filled with water and Gatorade.  But the other 6….well….I dunno.  We like a lot of clothes ok?  Don’t judge.  The room was everything we hoped with a HUGE bathroom for two girly girls.  Although the shower was small with a glass door, which means you had to watch each other shower.  Also, the toilet did not have a door so watching each other poop was always an option.  Creepy.  But there were cute little bunnies outside our room every day….so I guess that makes up for having to watch each other poop.  Maybe.

The cottage where our room was located....ahhhhhh
The cottage where our room was located….ahhhhhh
I would rather look at bunnies than BFF pooping….

We headed over to the convention center to check in, get our badges and head to the vendor hall to shop…cuz we LOVE to shop.  Take 2 geeky girls who like to shop and throw them in a hall with hundreds of geeky vendors and you have 2 geeky girls who squee with joy and spend lots of money.  Like an absurd amount.  As we came down the escalators to the vending hall, it was just opening and when we saw the crowds, we almost turned away and ran.  Hundreds of people waiting for the doors to open. Thank goodness they did right as we were coming down and the crowd dissipated quickly or we would have turned tail and run…neither one of us like crowds that much.  BFF quickly made her first purchase of Comicon…the cutest Boba Fett purse.  And by quickly, I do mean within 5 minutes.  But so worth it.  And not something you will find just anywhere.  This is how we spent Thursday night because the vendor hall is so big it took us 4.5 hours to walk the entire thing and shop.

Best purse ever.
Best purse ever.

Friday was filled with panels, shopping, exploring, wading through crowds, shopping, eating, more shopping and did I mention a photo-op with Michael Shanks?  SQUEE!!!  We are big fans of Stargate so getting this opportunity was amazeballs.  We knew we would not make his panel because for some reason it was on Saturday in a whole separate building and a floor down from the large ballroom where we were camping out to see Jason Momoa and Alyson Hannigan.  So there was no way we were gonna leave and attempt to get back in there.  That is crazy sauce.  So photo-op it was!  And well worth it!  I swear BFF barely contained running her hands up and down him and getting us kicked out.  Molester.  In between shopping and BFF molesting Michael Shanks, we decided to get some ice cream.  Because ice cream is the answer to whatever the question.  For serious.  I loves me some ice cream.  BFF had some major ice cream issues.  I swear she is like a 4-year-old with ice cream.  She ended up with it on her hands, cheek, eyebrow, arm, pants, hair and at some point her ear.  I have no idea how she got it on her ear.  What the heck was she doing with it when I wasn’t looking?  Spreading it around on various places hoping Michael Shanks would lick it off?  I am sure she was still thinking about molesting him and it made her ice cream melt faster.  I didn’t have those problems but maybe I ate mine fast or I actually know how to eat ice cream and she doesn’t.  Yeah.  Let’s go with that. Cuz eating it fast would imply that I was shoveling it into my gob, which in fact I really was because ice cream.  BFF, on the other hand, was a sticky hot mess.  Thank goodness we had already had our photo-op with Michael Shanks.

BFF restraining herself from molesting him.  You can see it behind her smile....
BFF restraining herself from molesting him. You can see it behind her smile….
Pretty soon this would be in so many places....
Pretty soon this would be in so many places….

Saturday at Comicon brought us camping out in the big ballroom to see all the big name celebrities, especially Jason Momoa and Alyson Hannigan.  We packed provisions and planned our potty breaks.  I even did lunges to prevent from getting a clot in my calf and to stretch my sciatica (this tip I learned from Pocket GF the first year we went).  Hands down, the best panel of the day was indeed Jason Momoa, who was gracious, funny and endearing.  It also brought more shopping.  You see, BFF and I have this addiction to a particular vendor called Sparkle! whose geeky jewelry brings us into her stall every year.  This year was no exception as we went back probably about 4 times to buy more.  I love arm candy and her bracelets are my newest addiction.  I swear I bought like 4 or 5 of them.  Don’t judge.

Khal Drago, Ronon Dex (Stargate Atlantis) and Aquaman all rolled into one...
Khal Drago, Ronon Dex (Stargate Atlantis) and Aquaman all rolled into one…
Best quote ever...hands down.  Harry Potter for life!
Best quote ever…hands down. Harry Potter for life!

Funny thing about Comicon is that every year, BFF and I know that a bunch of our friends are also attending but unless we attend with them, we usually never see them.  This is due to the huge crowds, the different panels, and our desire to shop till we drop.  Sometimes, we try to make it a point to hook up with people for meals and such, but this year we decided not to and our friends started stalking us.  Yup…we had stalkers folks!  Two of them actually found us in the vendor hall (good place to look for us in the maddening crowd of thousands) and managed to snag us for a few minutes and snap a photo or two….like the crazy stalkers they are.  Some call it stalking, I call it love.  Or practice for when I actually have fangirls/boys searching out the Fat Girl in a crowd to get a picture or snip a lock of my hair or even smell me.  Thanks to Foxy and JN for NOT snipping a piece of my hair although next time some squeeing would be in great order.  Foxy might have been sniffing me but I couldn’t tell if I should be weirded out or just chalk it up to her being a fangirl and all.  I mean, if you are gonna stalk us, you might as well fangirl….just saying.

This one makes me look creepy and maybe it is because Foxy did just smell us…..
Notice she stalked us in the vendor hall but is not trying to snip our hair or smell us….good job!

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I did however get my geeky shopping on and got stalked while at Comicon but I didn’t die.  I am Fat Girl who managed to get her picture taken with Michael Shanks, did not get ice cream everywhere and did not get my locks of my hair snipped off by a crazed fangirl Running,  The experiment continues…

How Not To Be A Dick At Comicon

When you go to a large convention of sorts, like Comicon, you are bound to run into people who are just plain rude.  Some people can’t help themselves and some just are completely oblivious to the thousands of other people around them.  Sigh.  If we all just played nice, then the world would be a better place.  But since we can’t, here are my rules for how not to be a dick at Comicon (which, actually, are good rules in general and can be used in any situation).  Because let’s face it…sometimes people are dicks.

1.  Don’t use paint thinner or turpentine to remove your body paint in a public bathroom.  For reals we experienced this.  BFF and I walked in to pee, which is normal in a public bathroom, only to be assaulted by this gal removing her body paint with this toxic fumage.  First off, why are you carrying around paint thinner in your bag anyways?  And what kind of paint are you using on your body to require paint thinner or turpentine? Public bathrooms are not known for their ventilation systems as it is, so why would you remove your body paint with a toxic asthma inducing chemical in there?  Pretty sure you should only use that around windows and such….and public bathrooms do not have those.  I almost had an asthma attack and if I hadn’t had to pee so bad, we would have found another potty.  Good thing is the smell of the turpentine covered up the smell of whatever someone else was doing in the stall next to me as she grunted loudly.  I didn’t stick around long enough to find out since the fumes from the turpentine were trying to kill me.

2.  Put your pole down.  If you are gonna sit in front of people and your cosplay costume involves a pole or staff of some sort, place it on the ground.  Don’t sit there with it in the air, thereby blocking the 1000 people behind you from seeing anything in the panel.  We actually had to ask a Comicon employee to ask her to put it down. WTF?  She caused us to have Resting Bitch Face because she was being such a dick.  You are not Little Bo Peep and we are not your sheep…just saying.

Hello?  Can you not see hte thousands of people behind you?  Put your freaking pole down!
Hello? Can you not see the thousands of people behind you? Put your freaking pole down!
Resting Bitch Faces beacuse of someone who thought she was Little Bo Peep apparently
Resting Bitch Faces because of someone who thought she was Little Bo Peep apparently

3.  If you are gonna ask a celebrity a question in a panel, pay attention to the questions that have been asked before you.  I mean, asking Jason Momoa to say something in Dothraki he had literally said the minute he walked out on stage?  Dick move.  Repeating a question that has already been answered or taking 10 minutes to phrase your question with so much babble that no one can figure out what your question is?  Dick move.  Also…don’t be weird and make the celebrity uncomfortable by asking in front of 5000 fans if you can have a hug.  Dick move and awkward.  No joke, this guy was uber awkward and practically made my skin crawl so I can imagine how Jason Momoa felt.  Nobody wants to look like a dick by turning you down for a hug dude, but you were so creepy and weird about it that it made you look like a stalker.  If you are gonna be a stalker, learn how to do it right.  Ugh.  If a celebrity asks you to not ask for spoilers or to stay way from a topic and you then walk up to the mic and ask for a spoiler?  Dick move.  Be respectful to their time and the others sitting in the same room with you.

4.  Febreeze your costume.  If you are gonna cosplay the same costume the entire weekend, febreeze that shit.  I mean, we all know you can’t easily wash your handmade Joker costume, but if you are gonna wear it for 3 days in the 115 degree heat, at least febreeze it.  We can smell you coming down the hallway.  Just saying.  At some point, you are gonna be in a small enclosed room sitting next to someone and you stink.  Febreeze is your friend cosplayers….because remember, nobody wants to sit next to the Mayor of Poopsville.

5.  The last and most important rule on how not to be a dick is to perform at least one random act of kindness while you are there.  BFF and I were wandering the vendor hall (where we spend a majority of our time cuz hello! geeky shopping) and we stopped to look at some jewelry a gal had for sale.  We started talking to her and she asked us if we knew where people were getting the popcorn she saw everyone wandering around with since she was starving but had nobody to relieve her.  We told her where to find it and expressed our sadness at her non popcorn state.  As we walked away, BFF and I looked at each other and immediately both said “Let’s go find her some popcorn!”  So we went to the first snack station we saw, bought her some popcorn and immediately returned to her booth with it.  The look of gratitude and surprise on her face was totally worth it.  She even tried to pay us, but we wouldn’t take her money.  We know what it is like to be hangry and with the thousands of people there wandering around, hangry is not a state you want to be in.  Random act of popcorning accomplished.

If you follow these simple rules, you won’t be a dick at Comicon….we swear it.  Everyone around you will have a better time and not be annoyed by you.  We can then spend the entire time looking like this:

Happy not being a dick faces

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I did observe some dick moves but I didn’t die.  I am Fat Girl who knows how not to be a dick at Comicon Running.  The experiment continues…