How Halloween Became My Favorite Holiday


I was in an author’s reader group on Halloween where she asked what our favorite memory of Halloween was and it caused me to think.  I mean, Halloween is my favorite holiday but what about it is my favorite memory?  What made it my favorite holiday?  It took me awhile, because as a kid I hated the big deal about it for most kids.  I hated trick or treating.  Such a weird tradition we have here where we encourage children to go up to stranger’s houses and ask for candy.  Who came up with this idea anyways and how did it catch on?  It was in thinking about this weird tradition of asking strangers for candy, that I remembered what made Halloween my favorite holiday. It was my Dad.

I was such an introverted kid that even then, the thought of going up to stranger’s door, ringing the bell and saying “trick or treat” was too much.  Plus, in my town, there was the tradition of telling a joke before they would give you candy.  An introverts worst nightmare I tell you.  To top it off, I didn’t have siblings to go out with and save me some of the pressure.  BFF told me that was the only reason she would go.  Her brother’s did all the talking and she collected candy.  She said once they stopped going, so did she.  I didn’t have that luxury.  I was an only child until I was 11, so I was stuck going out doing this by myself.  I didn’t have many friends either. Nope.  Hard pass.  I would rather stay at home reading a book.  I loved getting dressed up in costume, however the thought of going door to door caused me anxiety.  To help alleviate this anxiety about trick or treating, my Dad decided to come with me.

Now one thing you have to understand about my Dad is that he is a big kid at heart.  This is where I get it from and I love it.  My Dad also never does anything half-hearted.  This being said, he didn’t just decide to come trick or treating with me.  He also decided to dress up with me and not in a lame store-bought costume.  When I was a child, store bought costumes really were not a thing.  Most people in our town, made their own and the kids came up with all sorts of idea for them, I am sure much to the dismay of their parents who then had to figure out how to implement them.  I remember my Mom making me a Raggedy Ann costume, complete with a mop head dyed red for my hair.  Everyone really went all out in our small Iowa town.  My Dad was no exception.  He decided to dress up as Dracula so a cape was made.  Then a white dress shirt had a Styrofoam “wooden stake” attached over the heart with fake blood all around it (he might have used paint for that).  Then, to take it one step further, my Dad made vampire teeth.  Yes you read that right.  He MADE them.  My Dad was a dental lab technician and made dentures, partials and the like for a living, so he made fangs to go in his mouth. They were the same color as his own teeth and looked so real.  My Mom helped him powder him face white and he even used makeup to make blood dripping down the corner of his mouth.  I was so excited that my Dad took all this trouble to go trick or treating with me.  He could have just come along like a normal parent, but nope.  He even slicked his hair back and tried out his outfit with a few early bird trick or treaters.  Judging by the screams, he knew he had gotten it right.

My Dad and I set out to gather candy from strangers.  The Dracula and the traditional Korean girl (I had a real Korean outfit my Dad had brought back from when he was stationed there and I loved wearing it) walking hand in hand.  Dad actually made me excited to go trick or treating.  He went up to the first few doors with me and parents loved the fact that he was dressed up.  Pretty soon, he would just stand back and watch me go up to the doors, sometimes even by myself.  He even solved the joke problem by carrying a joke book in his back pocket and would let me find one to tell.  When he stood back and let me go up to the doors, he was never far from sight.  Usually standing on the sidewalk or in the yard.  Then he got this brilliant idea.  He would stand under trees and scare the shit out of kids who were walking up to houses.  Parents loved it.  In fact, I started pointing out my Dad when they would ask me if I was by myself so they could see him standing creepily under trees waiting to scare children by turning on his best Dracula voice.  Creeper. It was so awesome.  I might have gotten extra candy for my Dad and filled pillowcases.  And yes…I shared with him.

The next year, I wasn’t so apprehensive to go trick or treating, but you know what?  My Dad still went with me.  He continued to go every year even though I was past that phobia by then.  I didn’t mind.  I would have missed him being there to be honest.  Not everyone’s Dad will get dressed up every year as Dracula and go trick or treating with their kids.  My Dad?  He is awesome like that.  For reals.

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I did however remember what made me love Halloween as a kid and it was my Dad but I didn’t die.  I am Fat Girl whose Dad dressed up as a creepy Dracula to alleviate my anxiety about trick or treating and in turn made Halloween my favorite holiday Running.  The experiment continues…

Trick Or Treat 2 Year Old Style


Halloween is one of my favorite holidays hands down.  I love everything about it including dressing up in a fun costume and seeing all the kids all dressed up. The only thing I don’t like is the actual handing out of candy.  It is too much interaction for me.  I am glad I don’t hand out candy at my house because this requires a lot of people interaction and we all know how I don’t like to do much of that.  Strangers knocking on my door?  Nope.  The other reason I do not normally hand out candy at my house because I usually go over to BFF’s Momma’s house and help out over there.  They live in a neighborhood that normally gets over 250 trick or treaters at the their door.  It is crazy.  They keep count every year so they know how much candy to buy because there are so many.  BFF’s Momma also has a family dinner that I get to enjoy and see all the family.  For those of you who don’t know, BFF and I have been friends for over 25 years so her family is basically my other family.  Her nieces and nephews call me “Aunty 2” and I love it.  So, Halloween night I went over to The Momma’s house to hang with the family and get to see all the babies dressed up.  It was there that I got to witness the 2-year-old experience what she considered trick or treating for the first time.

First off, you have to understand that BFF’s parentals go all out on Halloween with the decorating.  Their house is so awesome complete with a graveyard and they even decorate the porch that the kids have to walk into to get to the front door.  It’s so creepy some kids wont even come in.  But their house is decorated so amazingly that kids from all over the neighborhood come to trick or treat there. I am not joking when I watched vans full of kids being driven up to the house and unloading kids to come to the house. At one point, we had a line of 35 kids to come in the house, all from 3 vans. Whatever happened to just trolling the neighborhoods like I used to do as a kid?  Do kids not do this anymore for hours?  There are so many places to trick or treat anymore that I feel like kids don’t go house to house as much, except to BFF’s parental’s house. I mean I would have trick or treated at their house and I wasn’t even too keen on the idea when I was a child.

However, somehow I got stuck handing out candy since I was next to the door after dinner. My niece had brought over the babies and her 2-year-old was busy watching me do this.  When BFF’s brother came in, Baby B ran over to the door.  She tried to lift the bowl of candy, discovered it was too heavy, and placed it on the floor before handing him a piece saying “Trick of Treat”.  It was so cute.  Pretty soon, there was another knock at the door and I heard Baby B get super excited and say “Trick or treaters?” so I turned and told her to come help me.  She ran over, making little sounds of excitement and opened the door.  I then instructed her to give each kid a candy and she did.  The kids were all very polite and patient as she put candy in their buckets and said thank you to her.  Baby B proceeded to say “You’re Weeecome” to each one and then shut the door.  I thought maybe that would be the extent to her helping, but nope.  Every time someone knocked on the door, she ran over to help, making the same sounds of excitement.  Sometimes, she would ask the kids “You want chocolate?” or “You want candy corn?” in her little voice as she gave out candy but it was always with great joy that she helped.  She would actually stand at the door, looking out, to see if any more were coming so she could hand out candy.  The trick or treaters loved that a little Disney princess was helping to hand out candy and were so patient, even when there were a lot of them.  It really was the cutest thing ever.

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The cutest candy helper ever checking to see if more trick or treaters were coming

At one point, her parents discussed leaving to go trick or treat at the mall, but Baby B was having so much fun handing out candy, that they decided to stay.  She thought this was what trick or treating is all about.  Her pure excitement every time she heard someone at the door was contagious and I, the one who does not like to people, loved handing out candy this year.  Does that mean I will do it at my house next year?  Nope.  But with Baby B at BFF’s parentals?  Yep.

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I did discover a new love of handing out candy for trick or treating as I saw it through the eyes of a 2-year-old but I didn’t die.  I am Fat Girl who didn’t mind peopling for the sake of Baby B Running.  The experiment continues…

Bubby’s Saddest Halloween


I am all decorated for Halloween at my house!  The two graveyards are up and running with new skeleton bones, black cats, a zombie gnome, and even a zombie flamingo.  Classic.  Of course, as you get nearer to my door, the cuteness factor happens with springy dancing pumpkins, a giant witch’s hat and even a doormat that cackles at you.  I love Halloween.  It happens to be my favorite holiday.  I love dressing up, the decorations, everything about Halloween.  When I was a teen, I loved dressing up and taking my younger siblings trick or treating.  It never got old.  Nowadays, I like to go to BFF’s house and see the hoards of children that come over there since they live near a school that BFF’s Momma works at, so all the kids know her.  It is loads of fun.  Thinking of Halloween, made me remember one of the saddest Halloweens my poor Bubby has ever had.

My Bubby must have been about four years old…old enough to be super excited about going trick or treating with me.  He could hardly stand it…I can’t even remember what his costume was going to be but knowing my parents, something handmade and awesome.  My Dad used to always dress up as Dracula and go trick or treating with us….He is so awesome.  He even made a shirt with a bloody stake coming out of it and real vampire fangs.  My parents were always great with Halloween and obviously understood how much I loved it as well.  So, there we were, the night before Halloween and everyone, but me, was outside enjoying the fall weather of Phoenix.  Not being an outdoor girl, I was inside curled up on the couch with a book (did you expect anything less?).  The little ones were playing with several ride on toys, including one that we called “the chicken” although now I find out it was supposed to be a banana.  Who makes a ride on banana?  Apparently Tyke Toys does.  Because every child wants to ride a giant yellow banana with a face and hair on it.  Because that isn’t what nightmares are made of at all.  Why don’t they just make a clown toy to ride on with its creepy face?  To make it even creepier, this didn’t even have a mouth.  Because bananas don’t have mouths but they have hair?  Here…I shall show you…because apparently they still make this creepy ride on toy for children.

Because every child asks for a giant banana to ride on
Because every child asks for a giant banana to ride on

Bubby LOVED this toy so much that when he saw it in the toy store a few years prior, he rode it all around and refused to get off it.  He even screamed when my Dad attempted to remove him from it, so home it came with us.  Now, at this point, since he was about 4, Bubby was really too old to ride the said “chicken” as he called it.  But he was NOT, in any way shape or form, going to let our 2-year-old Seester ride on it.  There was some sort of shoving match and Bubby took control of the “chicken” and started to ride it down the driveway.  I was blissfully unaware of any incidents happening outside as I was lost in my book.  I suddenly heard a blood curdling scream, followed instantly by one in my Mother’s voice and my sister wailing….LOUDLY.  The door from the garage was flung open and my Dad came running into the house, Bubby tucked under his arm like a football.  My Mom was following closely screaming and crying.  My baby Seester was still screaming and crying in the driveway and I could not figure out what had happened, I quickly got up to get my Seester, who had been abandoned in the driveway and was shrieking her head off, matching the cacophony that was now occurring in the bathroom with Mom and Dad yelling at each other and Bubby crying at the top of his lungs.  It was then I saw a trail of blood from the garage leading to the bathroom.  Seester’s screaming had now reached epic proportions and I still had no idea what had happened so I ran out to get her.  And walked into my own private horror movie.  There was blood everywhere.  All over the driveway, the chicken, the garage and my Seester had apparently fallen and walked in some of it and made little bloody hand and footprints everywhere before sitting in the pool of blood on the driveway.  Good lord!  This all had just happened within a few minutes….why did it look like a scene from the movie Halloween out here?  I felt like this:

What happened?
What happened?

I picked up the bloody baby and ran back into the house in time to hear my Mom (who is not the calmest person in a crisis) asking my Dad what to do while she is still screaming and crying.  Dad yells at her to get the car keys because he was calling the oral surgeon and he yells at me to go be with Bubby.  I went into the bathroom where poor Bubby, also a bloody mess, was sitting on the counter with his tongue hanging on by a thin chunk.  And I mean thin.  It was pretty gnarly.  Looking back on it, I probably should not have taken Seester into the bathroom with me as she started screaming again and it might be where her fear of blood originated.  I mean, if I was 2 and starred in my own private Halloween movie toddling around in blood in my bare feet and seeing my Bubby’s tongue barely hanging on, I might be afraid of blood as well.  Poor Bubby, after shoving Seester off the “chicken”, rode it down the driveway and hit a crack in the pavement.  He then toppled forward, being to big to ride on the “chicken”in the first place, and landed on his chin on the cement, biting through his tongue in the process.  And I don’t mean a little bit.  He almost bit the whole thing off.  It was super gnarly and I quickly wet a washcloth and put it around his sad tongue and had him hold it thorough his crying and screaming.  Mom and Dad came back in and grabbed him, going to the oral surgeon that my Dad knew through the military because as Dad said he “was not about to let some resident sew the tongue back on”.  I was left, stunned at the peaceful book read that had been interrupted, with a bloody Seester, still crying, in my arms and wondering what to do.  Needless to say, baby Seester was bathed, rocked and fed ice cream.  After putting her to bed, I went and attempted to clean up the mini horror movie in the garage while awaiting the rest of the bloody family to get back.

Bubby came home, pale and sedated, with a tongue that had been sewn back on with a lot of stitches.  Poor Bubby.  Mom and Dad put him to bed and I was thanked for cleaning up the mini horror movie in the house and garage.  The next day, poor Bubby’s tongue was so swollen he could not even put it in his mouth.  It just hung out there, stitches and all.  He couldn’t hardly eat or talk so it was decided by the parental units that trick or treating was out for the little man.  Fresh tears ran down his face as he realized he couldn’t go and watched me and Seester get ready.  We tried to make giving out candy to other kids seem exciting.  Bubby was so mad, he went out to the garage, picked up “chicken” and threw it down, breaking one of the wheels and thereby putting the poor chicken/banana to rest.  Seester and I went out with my friends and we collected candy for poor Bubby so he could eat it later when his tongue wasn’t so swollen and told his sad story to every door we went to get even more candy.  It was his saddest Halloween ever.  Needless to say, Bubby’s tongue healed beautifully and his speech or eating the shit ton of candy we collected was not affected.

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die toady.  Instead, I remembered one of the saddest Halloween Bubby has ever experienced and might have determined where Seester’s fear of blood comes from.  I am Fat Girl who once was part of her own personal mini horror movie Running.  The experiment continues…

Reminiscing and It Feels So Good….


Since I am about to go for my annual Halloween/Birthday trip to The House of Mouse, I thought I would share with you an oldie but goodie that seems to be getting lots of hits this time of year….It always kind of freaks me out how people find my blog but at least the search terms do not say “skin suit” this time….ew.    So check out my Halloween themed post Costumes Aren’t Just for Skinny Bitches from a few years ago and be glad you aren’t searching “skin suit” on the web…

You can also find this treasure in my book.   If you haven’t checked out The Running Experiment:  A Weekly Walk Away From the Sofa, then why not?  I will also post all the links where you can find the book or if you want it autographed by yours truly, I have copies I can send out. The book is free but the autograph will cost you $19 and that includes shipping.   You just have to message me and I will get your info and stalk you appropriately.  I promise.  It will be glorious!

Kindle:  http://www.amazon.com/The-Running-Experiment-Weekly-Walk-ebook/dp/B00DI9D0PW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1382055308&sr=8-1&keywords=kristann+monaghan

Amazon paperback:  http://www.amazon.com/The-Running-Experiment-Weekly-Walk/dp/0615837662/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1382055343&sr=8-2&keywords=kristann+monaghan

Barnes and Noble paperback:  http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-running-experiment-kristann-monaghan/1116964627?ean=9780615837666

Nook:  http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-running-experiment-kristann-monaghan/1115756751?ean=2940016797526

Kobo:  http://store.kobobooks.com/en-US/ebook/the-running-experiment

Inknbeans Press (you can also discover some fun, great writers here!!):  https://www.createspace.com/4330299

Amazon UK  Kindle (what?  I am international…baby!!):  http://www.amazon.co.uk/Running-Experiment-Weekly-Walk-ebook/dp/B00DI9D0PW

Amazon UK paperback: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Running-Experiment-Weekly-Walk-Away/dp/0615837662

Oh yeah…I didn’t die today.  I did discover fun and exciting new ways to procrastinate packing before a trip (like this blog piece) but I didn’t die!  I am Fat Girl shamelessly promoting myself again Running.  The experiment continues….

Dreams Really Do Come True At Disneyland….


You know how you see the commercials for Disneyland about making dreams come true?  Being an avid Disney fanatic as you all may know, I have always had three dreams I wish would come true while I was at The House Of Mouse:  staying a night in the Dream Suite above The Pirates Ride, being proposed to in the park (preferably either in front of the castle where it could be captured by a photographer or on the Peter Pan ride) and meeting my FAVORITE character Maleficent.  Now I used to think that all three of these dreams were out of my reach.  Why?  Well, let’s be honest…does anyone but celebrities ever get the chance to stay in the Dream Suite? Let’s not go into the chances of the Fat Girl getting a proposal.  And as for meeting Maleficent, I was assured by several cast members that she is NEVER out in Disneyland, only in Disney World.  Which to me, makes absolutely no sense since the castle at Disneyland is the Sleeping Beauty castle and the one at DW is Cinderella.  But, this trip just this past week , I was able to realize one of my Disney dreams.  And it was glorious.  It was everything a Fat Girl could ask for and included tears, squees and some peeing of my pants.

This trip was already set to be a fun one.  We had a great group of people going and were celebrating 2 birthdays, 2 anniversaries and a 1st visit.  I love taking people here for their 1st visit, no matter how old.  It is just as much fun to take a small child as it is to take my BFF’s Mom like we did once.  She even cried as the announced the opening of the park.  This time it was Bubby’s Pocket GF who had never been.  It is Halloween Time at the park and we even had plans to go to the special Mickey’s Halloween Party which BFF and I went to last year and it was a total blast.  Plus BFF, my niece and her BF were all gonna be there for 5 1/2 days.  Do you know how much fun and food you can have in that amount of time?  Insert Fat Girl squeal of joy here (mostly about the food).  And fun and food we did indeed have…a lot of it!  Songs were made up and sang about the wonderous food at Carthay Circle (particularly the ceviche that BFF and niece’s BF sang about the ENTIRE trip to different tunes).  There was so much laughter this trip that I am sure our pictures show how goofy we truly all are and turned into big kids. One of the best moments was when we took Bubby’s Pocket GF on the Tower of Terror for the first time.  Pretty sure I am still giggling about how she clutched my arm, buried her head and screamed “Make it stop! Make it stop!”  and then proceeded to get off and ask to ride it again!

There is so much to tell you about this particular trip, but let’s get to the Fat Girl getting one of her Disney dreams realized which is something I never imagined.  The night of the Halloween Party, we all got dressed up in our costumes and headed over to have some Halloween fun.  We were quite the motley crew:  Cruella, Batman and Robin, Psy dancing all Gangnam Style and Abraham Lincoln Vampire Slayer.  When you enter for the Halloween Party, the park has been completely transformed and there is so much going on that it is a bit of a sensory overload.  The decorations and lights are amazing and the characters are all out for photos and autographs including the villains.  The lines for the characters and for the trick or treating was insane (yes you can trick or treat in the park!) so we continued walking down Main Street looking at all there was to see except for my niece and her BF who wanted a picture with Cruella as she was dressed like her.  As we are walking, my phone rings and it is my niece.  She yells “Where are you?  SHE is HERE!  Get back to the train station!  We are in line!  HURRY!”  The SHE in this statement only meant one thing to me:  MALEFICENT!  I stopped dead in my tracks and BFF looked at me quizically till she heard me say “Are you shitting me? SHE is HERE?  Where are you?  OH. MY. GOD.”  BFF instantly knew exactly who I was talking about.  BFF quickly turned me, Bubby and Bubby’s Pocket GF around and we ran…and I mean RAN back down Main Street.  I didn’t care who was in front of me or their ages.  I was gonna see Maleficent!  In person!  I was praying we were not too late, that her photo line wasn’t closed when I saw my niece frantically waving at us and there SHE was in all her green glory.  We quickly got up with my niece who I can never thank enough for jumping in line and forgoing her chance to get a pic with Cruella for me.  I could barely concentrate on anything else going on around me as I was about to faint from the excitement like a child.  This was the equivalent to a little girl meeting the Princess character of her dreams for me.  I have Maleficent all over my house, every t-shirt imaginable with her on it and all sorts of memorabilia of her.  It literally is my all time FAVORITE Disney character from my favorite Disney movie.

The Mistress Of All Evil Herself!!!

As we got closer, my excitement grew and I think everyone in my group was afraid I would plow over the small girls in front of me dressed as Princesses to get to her.  I kept doing a happy Fat Girl dance and everyone was having a hard time not smiling at how excited I was.  Pretty sure everyone else who was not with us probably thought I was a special ed girl and my poor family was having a hard time controlling me the way I was acting.  I needed a leash.  I could not alternately stop squeeing with delight and grabbing BFF excitedly and trying not to cry tears of joy.  Then my dream came true.  It was MY turn to meet her.  Pretty sure I peed my pants a little.  I could not stop grinning like a fool and literally wanted to hug her but I was scared she really would think I was mentally challenged or that in my Fat Girl excitement I would not let go and have to be pulled off by the Disney Secret Police and be banned for life from my favorite place.  I couldn’t even talk so BFF told Maleficent she was my favorite and she turned to me to talk.  She even asked BFF and I if we would go to the castle and bring her back the maiden with hair of gold.  It was the best experience EVER.  Lots of pictures were taken, more happy Fat Girl dances were done and squees of joy I am sure could be heard throughout the park.  I cannot wait to get our photopass photos from that experience because I am sure I had on my Disney face like I did when I met The Wicked Queen.

Example of Fat Girl Disney Face…says it all!

Meeting Maleficent was the highlight of the best Disney trip EVER so far.  Hands down.  We can all laugh and say it was fate or it was Halloween, but I say it was a little bit of Pixie Dust and Disney Magic.  It really is Where Dreams Come True.  Even for Fat Girls.  Now…can we work on fulfilling my other two Disney dreams?  A Fat Girl can only hope….or dream.

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  A few small children may have been injured as I pushed them out of the way to fulfill a dream but I didn’t die.  I am fat girl who peed her pants and became a squeeing puddle of joy when meeting Maleficient running.  The experiment continues…..

Costumes Aren’t Just For Skinny Bitches


I love Halloween time.  I mean LOVE Halloween.  I am that person that decorates her yard with a graveyard and even goes so far as to decorate the inside of my house.  I also love dressing up for Halloween.  The problem with finding a Halloween costume?  Being fat.  Seriously.  Ever tried to find a Halloween costume when you are fat?  Ugh.  It is kind of stressful actually.  You for sure won’t find anything in Target or Wal-Mart that will fit.  Those costumes are made for stick thin girls or the ones for us fat girls are the ugliest things you have ever seen.  You know what?  I am a fat girl.  I wanna look cute or sexy too on Halloween.  I don’t want to dress up as a bottle of mustard or as a sumo wrestler.  Why in the name of all things that are fat would I want to look fatter than I already do?  Who thinks this is a good “Plus Size” costume?  Some stupid skinny person who is gonna squeeze her skinny butt into a french maids costume and look like a french whore for the night.  Well this fat girl is here to say costumes aren’t just for skinny bitches.  But to try to find one sure does feel like it.

So every year BFF and I go to a Halloween party so I need a new costume right?  Well….need might be an exaggeration.  Ok. I WANT a new costume.  Why?  Hello!  Did I not just say I love Halloween?  And I never had to wear the same costume twice as a child so why should I now as an adult?  We head to the Halloween store and I hope and pray I can find one that actually is plus size.  Not one size fits all.  One size fits not fat girls is what that should say.  Trust me.  They don’t fit fat girls.  It’s like trying to squeeze every ounce of fat into a sausage casing when I attempt to try on those costumes. Thank goodness the Halloween store lets you try on costumes ahead of time.  Too many times I have ordered a costume over the internet with that label of “Plus Size” and it ends up being for a size 10.  Really?  I would kill to be a size 10.  And since our local Torrid store closed, I am stuck with whatever the Halloween store has for a fat girl.  BFF really is a lucky girl that she has a killer body with curves in all the right places (I would love to have her body!) because she never has problems finding a costume.  Problem is that we like to go as a theme every year so we always try to find something that will go together.  One year we went as the Spice Girls.  It was hysterical.  Seriously hysterical.  Probably not as great as our Naughty Nurses costumes, but damn that was practically lingerie so I think I will skip that this year.  I already said I was traumatized from ever having sex again with the sounds of fat slapping together, lets just say squeezing myself into a corset again was NOT gonna happen.  I really just wanted something cute and sexy.  I don’t shave those girl parts for nothing.  By sexy, I don’t mean the costume should let my flass hang out.  I mean come on…does my flass have to hang out of a costume for it to be sexy?  No.  BFF even kept asking me if the costumes she tried on where showing her butt.  Answer…yes.  Please don’t buy that one.  Next costume please.  Ok no not that one because now you are showing labia.  This threw us into fits of laughter.  I mean if you are going to show labia, why wear a costume at all?  Why not just go naked!  None of the costumes I liked even came close to my size.  Damn.  Guess I could dig in my costume bin and recycle a costume.  BFF suggested that we head out to the mall because the same Halloween store had a shop in there too.  I was dejected thinking there was no way I was gonna find anything that didn’t make me feel like a labia showing whore or a really fat girl so BFF decided to cheer me up and show me the leaping spider in the store.  Did I mention I have a TERROR of spiders?  Not cool.  I almost ran screaming like a little girl from the store or sat on the ground like I did in the haunted house (A repeat Code Wet Pants). Let’s just say when a fat girl sits on the ground, there is no way you are going to get her up if she does not want to get up.  True story.  Traumatized for sure now.  But upon getting to the other store, I started looking and found BFF several cute non labia showing costumes.  Now to find a thematic pair.  Then I looked down….wait!  Hold the phone Batman!  Is this what I think it is?  A CUTE FAT GIRL COSTUME?  Hell to the yes it was!  I held my breath as we tried on the thematic pair…OMG!  IT FIT!!!!!  And I didn’t have fat rolls pushing themselves out in all sorts of weird ways making their our puppet show for the kiddos.  YAHOO!  No labia showing.  No flass hanging out.  No fat flashing its whiteness to scare children.  Halloween party here we come!!  The fat girl will feel cute this year!  Pretty sure I better make sure I do my gymnastics routine to shave my girl parts before the party.  You never know. Halloween costumes can be used in many different ways.  Just saying.

As for the experiment…running has not occurred yet.  The knee is still tender on some things so been riding the fat jiggling bike.  I think I will try the treadmill after work though.  I gotta try it at least.  The fear is that it will hurt and I will have to admit that maybe the running experiment is a failure.  But then, is it really?  Because by starting the experiment and this blog, I have become aware of how I eat and have been moving every day.  So is it really a failure?  It must be working if I can fit into a Halloween costume, right?  Tomorrow is weigh in day since I forgot (or repressed that fact on Tuesday) so we shall see.  Water weight be gone I say!  So while no running has occurred, the experiment is still in full swing.  Never fear.

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I felt good about my body instead.  For the first time in a long time actually.  I am fat girl looking cute in a non labia showing Halloween costume.  Watch out world!  The experiment continues…..