Every year for the 4th of July, my unit makes a presence in the local parade. It started out as a way for us to get the community aware of our new PICU so we decided to come up a float to enter. At some point, we thought it would be a good idea to somehow make a float with our mascot of the duck because we “keep kids afloat”. When I mentioned this to my Bubby, he immediately came up with a way to create the duck as he has lots of experience with set design. I had no idea that he would create this iconic 13 ft high replication of our cartoon drawing whom we lovingly named Phred. Seriously. A 13 ft high bright yellow wooden duck comes out of storage every year and parades his patriotic self in the parade. Because what is more patriotic than a 13 ft high bright yellow duck? Not much I tell ya. It is the thing that childhood nightmares could be based on…giant rubber duckies that could eat you in one bite. Oh yeah…did I mention he also wears a giant stethoscope? Maybe so he can listen to the local giant’s heart? Bubby has a science to putting Phred together every year and it always looks a little scary to see him and another guy lift up and screw into place this giant duck head while they are standing on a metal trailer. How does he stay on the trailer you want to know? Well, he is zip tied to the metal trailer. Then to make it even more safe, we pile blankets all around him and have children sit surrounding this 13 ft WOODEN structure. Did I mention we are all pediatric nurses? Maybe we should make the kids wear helmets but we are satisfied with the 4 plastic zip ties holding Phred down. Can you imagine if it suddenly got hurrricane gusts of wind? All the screams that would occur as the giant duck swooped down, giant grin on his orange bill, towards the crowds of people that are trying to enjoy the parade? Of course, we might have more to worry about if hurricane type winds ever happened up here in the mountains of AZ than a giant 13 ft tall duck named Phred. Pretty sure though that Phred would be the top story on CNN and not the weird weather. I mean, come on. You know you would tune into the story of the rubber duck that ate Flagstaff. Especially if his eyes were on fiwre! But in all honesty, Phred is a crowd favorite and is quite fantastic.

So, after the parade this year, I thought it would be fun to host a party. Nothing big. Just a little pizza party to say thanks to those who walked/rode with us in the parade. In preparation, I cleaned my house and got BFF to bring soda. Party was scheduled to start at 4 pm so when the clock struck thee hour, there we were, BFF and I waiting for the guests to arrive so I could order pizza. By 4:30, we decided to order a couple of pizzas because we were hungry. Ever see those scenes in movies where the fat girl has a birthday party and no one shows up? Yeah. I was that fat girl. By 6:30, I finally realized no one was gonna show and BFF and I made the most of it and went to the movies. Thank goodness for BFF or otherwise I would have sat by myself and eaten a whole pizza while watching some movie on Lifetime about some woman who gets beaten or is dying from some female disease or both. Total party fail.

Oh yeah. I didn’t die today. I did have a fat girl party moment but I didn’t die. I am fat girl hoping I don’t get eaten by Phred someday if the zip ties fail running. The experiment continues…..