Always Answer When Your Mom Calls

When BFF and I go to the annual Nerdfest that is Phoenix Comicon, we usually spend time shopping in between panels and photo ops.  The very first day?  Oh no…that is dedicated completely to shopping.  The exhibition hall where all the vendors are opens at 4p and we are there, ready to shop till we drop.  Why?  Because we are girls…NERDY girls.  And Comicon is the perfect place for us to get our nerdy shopping on.  We actually have certain vendors that we repeatedly shop and search out before we even get there so we know where there booths are.  I mean, come on…there are not a lot of places for girls to get things like nerdy jewelry and purses and such like Comicon.  The exhibition hall is HUGE.  It actually takes us quite a while to get through all the vendors and artists, so that is why we dedicate that first day to just that…shopping.  This year, we were completely oblivious to a major incident that occurred while we were in our shopping haze.  Apparently, this year, someone had a BIG problem with The Green Power Ranger.

There we were, just minding our own business, wandering around fulfilling our nerdy little shopping desires, when my phone started vibrating in my pocket.  I pull it out and notice that it is BFF’s Momma.  I was actually quite a bit freaked out by this.  Why would her Momma be calling me and not BFF?  What was happening?  Who died?  Is the world ending?  Is the zombie apocalypse starting and here we are stuck in the vendor hall with all these people and no escape?  Are we going to get eaten? All these questions frantically ran through my brain as I went to answer the phone.  In my panicked state that the world was possibly ending, I actually hung up on her Momma and never even got to hear if they were under zombie attack.  Luckily, BFF had seen it was her Momma calling when I pulled out my phone and started calling her back right away.  My sense of panic rising that maybe the zombie virus had, in fact, been let loose and we were going to need an escape route, I then started scanning for our quickest route out of the nerdy shopping heaven.  I had already decided who we could shove in the way of the zombies so that we could get out.  The dude dressed as Link would be useful with his bow and arrow, so he could tag along.  But the kid dressed as Iron Man…nope.  I am so shoving him in front of a zombie so we can escape.  I mean, what good is a plastic mask and a puffed up suit to look like muscle?   Nothing I tell you when it comes to a zombie eating his face or mine.  That fake Iron Man has no value in the zombie apocalypse unless he somehow turns into the real Iron Man.  Then I am catching a lift for BFF and me out of there.  Also the first to go?  The gal dressed as Princess Peach from Super Mario Brothers.  Useless. The big poufy dress might help slow some zombies down but I assure you, unless she has weapons stored under that hoop skirt, she is a goner.

Luckily, as BFF was talking to her Momma, I realized I could stop planning our escape route as I heard her say “No we are fine.  Why?  What is going on? Nope.  We haven’t heard anything about that and we haven’t been evacuated and nobody looks like they know.  Huh.  That is weird.  Is everything else ok?  No, Momma, we really are ok but we will let you know.”  She hung up the phone with a puzzled expression on her face.  Her Momma had called because she heard on the TV that a shooter had been taken down at Comicon and arrested.  Well, whew.  At least it wasn’t zombies.  That would be worse.  We looked around to see if anyone had any clue that this was happening.  Nope.  In the vendor hall, it was business as usual, with all sorts of other nerds wandering around in their nerdy shopping haze.  Hmmmm.  We quickly got on social media and indeed saw that a dude who thought he was The Punisher had brought a bag full of guns to Comicon to apparently kill the actor who plays The Green Power Ranger.  Why the Green Power Ranger?  What had he done to him?  Had he used the wrong color powers?  Was the Green Power Ranger inherently evil and I didn’t know it?  Wait…did he have the zombie virus and this Punisher dude was trying to protect us?  I am still unsure if we ever got the answers to these questions, but at least they got him subdued and arrested before anyone at Con was actually hurt.  I still wonder what The Green Power Ranger ever did to this dude to make him want to actually kill him.  After the phone call from BFF’s Momma and reading about it on social media, BFF and I decided the nerdy shopping heaven would wait.  We peaced out and went back to our hotel.  Also, I was still concerned that maybe the Green Power Ranger was a code for zombie apocalypse and needed a better escape plan anyways for the next day.  Priorities man.


Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I did discover that while in the nerdy shopping heaven, you can plan a good escape route in case the zombie apocalypse does start while you are there, but I didn’t die.  I am Fat Girl still curious about what the Green Power Ranger ever did to deserve almost dying Running.  The experiment continues…

On Being Geeky Cattle and Possibly Starting My Own Dairy

You know by now that BFF go to the annual Nerdfest that is Phoenix Comicon to get our geek on and one of our favorite things to do is to get our pictures taken with our favorite celebrities from the world of sci-fi and geekery.  We plan this out quite carefully actually.  It is a fine balance between going to panels to hear the stars speak and ties to grab photos with them.  Of course we did it again this year but this year things had changed.  What we didn’t expect was to be herded like cattle into pens to our biggest photo opportunity, Alan Tudyk.

For those that are unaware, Alan Tudyk is HUGE in the geek world.  He has starred and voiced in things like Frozen, Moana, Wreck It Ralph, Dodgeball, A Knight’s Tale, Dollhouse and our favorite Firefly.  We were super excited to get a photo with him and there was no way we were missing it.  We showed up 45 minutes early to be put in a LONG line that had already formed.  In fact, it went into the exhibition hall and it was super hard to find the end.  We just kept asking people if they were there to see Alan Tudyk till we found the end.  No employees told us where to go except with a wave of a hand in the general vicinity of the line.  It was very frustrating.  BUt in line we got and stood because we were not missing this opportunity.  Not even if it meant standing in line all day.  We are that dedicated.

While standing in line, we ran into our favorite Comicon photo worker.  This guy comes in all the way from Chicago to work at Phoenix Comicon and we had the pleasure of meeting him the first year we went to do photos and John Barrowman felt him up in front of the whole crowd.  He is amazing and always makes the photo process smooth and fun.  I am unsure if I should be afraid or flattered that he recognized us and came over to chat and do his own photo-op with us, but it really did help make the time go by faster.  We make our own fun while waiting in line.


Once the line started moving, we all of a sudden realized that we were being shuttled like cattle into pens created with barriers to wait for our photo-op, which was now an hour late.  Why?  Because they oversold the photo op.  I heard several people wondering if they would make the next panel or photo op they had going on due to the delay.  We didn’t have anything at Comicon scheduled but we did have other plans we jammed into that weekend (more about that in another blog) At least our wait was not as bad as the day before when Dick Van Dyke was there and people waited ALL day.  No really, ALL day and some didn’t even get their photo due to the delay.  It was a complete mess from what we heard.  Not only did we have to stand in line, but then we are herded into pens.  I felt like I needed to have a giant bell around my neck or have my name changed to Bessie.  I don’t normally produce milk products but if we were going to be herded into pens, then maybe I should try.  It could be another way to earn income.  Start my own human dairy.  It could be a thing, right?  I mean this could be a new career opportunity.  We could call it Fat Girl Dairy.  It would be a cash cow. Get it?  Cash cow?  So there we were, shuttled like cattle into the first pen, and then the second pen and finally the third pen.  Oh yeah…all before we actually hit the line for the photo-op.  I have to tell you though, no one shoved, no one cut in line and people were polite,  Nerds may get angry and mad but they did not try to take advantage of the situation.  All in all, even though we were shuttled like cattle, we had a good time.  We even made cow noises.  Yup.  That happened.  As did this

OMG Alan Tudyk!!!! Mooooooo!

Even despite the cattle pens and cowbells, we had a great time and managed some amazing photos with our favorite celebrities and our favorite Comicon photo op volunteer.  Also, we heard the phase “you two are so adorable” over and over from the celebs.  Take a gander….

It’s Lex Luthor from Smallville!
For all my Supernatural fans out there
I must admit I about geeked out over Anthony Michael Hall!  #BreakfastClub4Life
BFF might have had a small fangirl moment with the Star Trek Voyager duo.  And they could not stop telling us how adorable we were.

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I was herded like cattle into pens for a huge photo-op, but I didn’t die.  I am Fat Girl who needs a cowbell and is contemplating a new career choice with a Human Dairy Running.  The experiment continues…

In Which BFF and I Encounter Drunks at a Concert

So this summer, BFF and I went to the hotbox of Satan’s Armpit to see my all time favorite band in concert.  Yup…that’s right.  We went to see Duran Duran again because I love going to see them live whenever I cn and BFF just tags along for the fun.  I have loved them since I was in junior high and any chance to see them perform live is a treat for me.  I mean, I have only missed one tour in all these years.  One.  I admit it.  I am a die-hard Duranie through and through.  So, I purchase the tickets the minute they went on sale and got us floor seats as close as I could possibly get to see my beloved John Taylor.  We got down to the floor and were told where the closest bathroom and bar were by one of the ushers.  Wait?  Bar?  Is this a thing at all concerts now or is it just the age of the people coming to see Duran Duran that we feel the need to have a bar at the concert?  Whatever the case may be, we opted out of that part as we wanted to enjoy the concert and remember it.  Obviously, others did not.  Let me tell you….some people should have been cut off before the concert even started.

There we were, sitting in our seats and realizing we should have brought earplugs to drown out the  horrible DJ that was playing when all of a sudden, this giant man came and plunked himself and his beer next to me.  It was quickly obvious to me that he had been pre concert partying as he almost spilled his beer on me no less than three times.  After apologizing, he then decided it was a good idea to talk to me.  Nope.  Slow your roll buddy.  I don’t need to have a conversation with you.  He proceeded to ask me about Duran Duran and who I liked the most.  His group was only there to see the opening act Chic and didn’t care about Duran Duran you see.  I learned a lot about this dude who I didn’t really want to talk to as he blabbered on and on about things.  Then, he abruptly stood up and left mid sentence and I breathed a sigh of relief.  I think he might have realized his beer was empty.  Unfortunately for me, he returned to slosh some more beer around and try to have a conversation with me again.  Stop it.  I am not going to give you my number.  Right before the concert started, the usher came over with some people and asked to see this guys ticket and asked him if he was in the right seat.  He didn’t even know where his seat was and that was not his so Drunken Dude was led away and a gal sat next to me that was neither drunk nor did she want to have a conversation with a stranger.  Thank goodness.

About this time, the people seated next to BFF showed up. Wow were they drunk.  And I don’t mean by a little, I mean DRUUUUNNNNKKKK.  Let’s add into the fact that she was like an Amazonian woman and BFF is a tiny little woman.  Oh boy.  When the concert started, we stood to dance and that is when the trouble started.  Because what happens when you are that drunk?  Pretty sure you lack the coordination to control your own limbs. This drunk woman kept knocking into BFF and standing in front of her so she couldn’t see.  I mean even I would not be able to see over this Amazonian of a woman.  Bing the spunky little woman BFF is, she finally tapped the lady and told her she kept standing in front of her.  Luckily, the Amazonian was nice and made sure it didn’t happen again.  The guy she was with?  Not so much.  When The Reflex was played, this was apparently his favorite song and he proceeded to show his love for this song by dancing along the row in front of us in drunk fashion, pointing and singing.  It was quite hilarious if I had wanted to see a show of a drunk trying to be Simon Le Bon.  Guess what buddy?  You aren’t Simon so take your drunk ass back to your seat and stay there.  Ugh.  I hate drunk people.  Ok…really I just hate people.  But seriously, why the drinking at concerts?  Is it just a ploy for the venues to make more money?  Are people just incapable of enjoying music without it?  And how many of these people try to drive home after drinking at a concert?  BFF and I?  We will stick to just enjoying our fangirl moment and screaming like 13-year-old girls.  Yeah…that happened.

Play that f**ing bass John!
John Taylor and Simon Le Bon….insert dreamy sigh here


Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  Instead I suffered through some drunk experiences at a Duran Duran concert but didn’t die.  I am Fat Girl who is also a teenage Duranie fangirl for life Running.  The experiment continues…

BFF Has Mad Line Skills or How to Make Friends at Comicon

Remember how I talked about BFF and I getting our Barrowman sandwich on?  Well, in order to do these photo ops, you must first show up early and get in a line to wait with other like-minded geeks and nerds that are waiting for the same opportunity of a lifetime.  Last year, you will recall that we did the photo-op with our Wil Wheaton and this year we opted to do two of them.  The first we did with Nathan Fillion and the second of course was our Barrowman sandwich.  So, one the day we were to meet Captain Mal, AKA Fillion, we had purchased an early time of 1015 because we HAD to get upstairs to see our love Barrowman talk afterwards.  We asked one of the workers at the Comicon the day before where and when we needed to show up and were told that we needed to be there about 45 minutes early and that we would line up outside the doors to the exhibition hall since that would not open until ten anyways.  Armed with that info, we made plans accordingly for the next day.

We aried for our photo-op with Captain Mal at the said 45 minutes early to be astounded by the HUMUNGOUS crowd already gathering outside the doors we were told to go to line up.  Holy cow…there were hundreds of people all around the area where we were supposed to line up and in no particular order.  Here is where Phoenix Comicon could take a lesson from Disneyland.  Disneyland is the expert on lines and making them not feel like lines.  There were no line markings, no barriers and for sure no singing anials to entertain us.  They could have at least gotten a few of those people dressed up like Furry woodland creatures to sing and dance while we were waiting.  We tried to make sense of where we were supposed to be but really it was a giant horde of Fillion fans waiting to push their way into the hall to get their precious few seconds with him.  Finally, BFF spotted a worker who was holding the sign that said End of the Line.  Perfect!  We shall go to his sign and get in line.  We walked over only to have this worker explain to a group of us that there were too many people in line and we would all have to go away and come back later. Wait…what?  Um….no.  We paid for this time slot and we were not about to come back later and risk missing our photo-op or the panel where Barrowman was speaking right afterwards.  He kept telling us to come back later and BFF and I looked at each other.  We were not going anywhere. Geeks around us were all appalled as well and we still could not tell where the line actually was in the crowd.  We started discussing the absurdity of the situation with our fellow Browncoats behind us as we wandered a short ways off but kept the End of Line Guy in our sights.  All of a sudden, BFF grabs my hand and wiggles her tiny little Mexican body into what she had determined was the line and we were in front of the End of the Line Guy!!  BFF has mad line cutting skills I tell ya.  We kept quiet and silently just stood there and he continually turned people away.  We grinned at each other, knowing we were now the End of the Line.  Our fellow geeky Browncoats that we had been talking with see us in line were astounded that now we were in the actual (at least we hoped) line to get our photo.  There was so much craziness going on that we figured what is a few more people.  So we quickly grabbed our new-found group of friends and pulled them into line with us.  When someone questioned us, we said these were our friends who had been looking for us the whole time and we had gotten separated in the crowd.  So they let it go.  We even did a selfie with our new friends in line like we had all known each other forever

Geeky friends we still don't even know their names...#comiconissues
Geeky friends we still don’t even know their names…#comiconissues

One snafu to BFF’s mad line skills came when a lady who was standing right with the End of Line Guy complained that we had line jumped.  We quickly denied we had line jumped and instead stuck with our story that we had been there and our friends had just joined us.  The End of the Line Guy, obviously now frustrated by his job and all of the fans, told the lady he could not prove we had line jumped so we were going to stay.  She continued to complain loudly and finally BFF leaned over and told the End of Line Guy to just let her come up with us so she would shut up.  He graciously agreed and let her be the official end of the line.  There was still no order to the line and we had no clue where the line was going.  Finally they opened the doors to the exhibition hall to alleviate the crush of people that was obviously now a fire code hazard.  Somehow despite the lack of line markings and people randomly doing what we did by just joining the crush of people we got in to see Fillion and get our picture taken with him.  It was as awesome as it sounds.

Why look quite mischevious
Why Fillion…you look quite mischievous.  Ignore the glare from the plastic covering the photo.

The next day when we arrived to get our Barrowman sandwich on, we got there even earlier but the mad crush of people was for Stan Lee this time so we were able to go right inside and join the other Barrowman fans.  Who do we spot once again behind us in line?  The complaining lady who now acted like we were her best friends at Comicon.  Sigh.  We talked with her even though she annoyed us and almost made us lose our spot in the Fillion line with her complaining.  I mean we were about to stalk…I mean meet Barrowman so that high was gonna last all day…as you previously read.  Photo ops are totally worth it!  But Phoenix Comicon planners:  next time plan for such big crowds and line markings will help immensely.  Also dancing and singing woodland creatures.

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I did think e might not be able to decipher the crowd/line to get to see Fillion but I didn’t die.  I am Fat Girl with a BFF who has mad line cutting skills and who made some new geeky friends in line Running.  The experiment continues…