In Which BFF and I Encounter Drunks at a Concert


So this summer, BFF and I went to the hotbox of Satan’s Armpit to see my all time favorite band in concert.  Yup…that’s right.  We went to see Duran Duran again because I love going to see them live whenever I cn and BFF just tags along for the fun.  I have loved them since I was in junior high and any chance to see them perform live is a treat for me.  I mean, I have only missed one tour in all these years.  One.  I admit it.  I am a die-hard Duranie through and through.  So, I purchase the tickets the minute they went on sale and got us floor seats as close as I could possibly get to see my beloved John Taylor.  We got down to the floor and were told where the closest bathroom and bar were by one of the ushers.  Wait?  Bar?  Is this a thing at all concerts now or is it just the age of the people coming to see Duran Duran that we feel the need to have a bar at the concert?  Whatever the case may be, we opted out of that part as we wanted to enjoy the concert and remember it.  Obviously, others did not.  Let me tell you….some people should have been cut off before the concert even started.

There we were, sitting in our seats and realizing we should have brought earplugs to drown out the  horrible DJ that was playing when all of a sudden, this giant man came and plunked himself and his beer next to me.  It was quickly obvious to me that he had been pre concert partying as he almost spilled his beer on me no less than three times.  After apologizing, he then decided it was a good idea to talk to me.  Nope.  Slow your roll buddy.  I don’t need to have a conversation with you.  He proceeded to ask me about Duran Duran and who I liked the most.  His group was only there to see the opening act Chic and didn’t care about Duran Duran you see.  I learned a lot about this dude who I didn’t really want to talk to as he blabbered on and on about things.  Then, he abruptly stood up and left mid sentence and I breathed a sigh of relief.  I think he might have realized his beer was empty.  Unfortunately for me, he returned to slosh some more beer around and try to have a conversation with me again.  Stop it.  I am not going to give you my number.  Right before the concert started, the usher came over with some people and asked to see this guys ticket and asked him if he was in the right seat.  He didn’t even know where his seat was and that was not his so Drunken Dude was led away and a gal sat next to me that was neither drunk nor did she want to have a conversation with a stranger.  Thank goodness.

About this time, the people seated next to BFF showed up. Wow were they drunk.  And I don’t mean by a little, I mean DRUUUUNNNNKKKK.  Let’s add into the fact that she was like an Amazonian woman and BFF is a tiny little woman.  Oh boy.  When the concert started, we stood to dance and that is when the trouble started.  Because what happens when you are that drunk?  Pretty sure you lack the coordination to control your own limbs. This drunk woman kept knocking into BFF and standing in front of her so she couldn’t see.  I mean even I would not be able to see over this Amazonian of a woman.  Bing the spunky little woman BFF is, she finally tapped the lady and told her she kept standing in front of her.  Luckily, the Amazonian was nice and made sure it didn’t happen again.  The guy she was with?  Not so much.  When The Reflex was played, this was apparently his favorite song and he proceeded to show his love for this song by dancing along the row in front of us in drunk fashion, pointing and singing.  It was quite hilarious if I had wanted to see a show of a drunk trying to be Simon Le Bon.  Guess what buddy?  You aren’t Simon so take your drunk ass back to your seat and stay there.  Ugh.  I hate drunk people.  Ok…really I just hate people.  But seriously, why the drinking at concerts?  Is it just a ploy for the venues to make more money?  Are people just incapable of enjoying music without it?  And how many of these people try to drive home after drinking at a concert?  BFF and I?  We will stick to just enjoying our fangirl moment and screaming like 13-year-old girls.  Yeah…that happened.

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Play that f**ing bass John!
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John Taylor and Simon Le Bon….insert dreamy sigh here

 

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  Instead I suffered through some drunk experiences at a Duran Duran concert but didn’t die.  I am Fat Girl who is also a teenage Duranie fangirl for life Running.  The experiment continues…

Authors Fangirl Too


I know I have talked about fangirling over other authors before, and this year I thought I was totally cool at Austin Book Fest.  I mean, I had met Colleen Hoover and managed to remember how to speak English and have conversations with her this year.  I was pretty sure that I would not freak out over an author this year.  Wrong.  So very wrong.  At ABF last year, I was standing in front of this author’s table waiting to get up to another author to get my book signed.  This author was so freaking cute and her table was covered in my favorite color…pink.  I kept looking at her book and casually picked it up to read the back.  It actually sounded super cute and fun…my type of romance.  I love sweet romances that are not heavy on the sex.  I can do without all the heaving and thrusting and weird body part names that authors give them (like flower, flesh tower, love muscle….you get the idea) sometimes.  Don’t get me wrong, when done well, a good sex scene is just that…good!  But anyways, I decided to take a chance on this author and buy her book as when I started talking to her, she was just as sweet as her book looked.  When I got home, I immediately read the book and fell in love.  This started my obsession with all things Rachel Hollis.

Rachel Hollis is genuine and sweet, just like the characters in her Girls series.  I started following her on social media, reading all of her books, trying her recipes on The Chic Site and then got invited to be in her street team.  It was here that I found other fans of Rachel and got to know her better.  She really is a wonderful beautiful soul.  When I found out she was going to be at ABF again this year, I got super excited.  She was the one, besides Colleen Hoover, that I wanted to meet the most. I really do want to be just like her…I am pretty sure we were friends or sisters in a past life because she reminds me so much of myself. But I did not expect what happened when I did meet her.  I did not expect to be sitting on a sofa, laughing so hard tears were running down my face as she sat next to me.  Nor did I expect to freak out and forget how to speak English again.

The night before the signing, our group of friends went down to the lobby to hang out and hopefully meet some other book nerds or authors there.  We were standing there talking when BFFE pointed out that Rachel Hollis had come over to where we were and sat at a couch near us.  I couldn’t even speak.  BFFE grabbed my hand and told me to go talk to her to which I shook my head.  Nope.  I couldn’t do it.  I admire her so much that even though I had met her before, I was afraid word vomit or actual vomit would come up and I would make a complete fool of myself.  It is one thing to talk to someone you admire online and another to talk to them in person.  Even Colleen makes me nervous still and I get super shy around her.  Luckily, my BFFE is super outgoing and she took my hand and pulled me in Rachel’s direction.  Rachel looked up from her drink as we approached, said my name and waved.  I about died.  Literally died.  She immediately got up and enveloped me in a hug and I just didn’t know what to say.  BFFE told her how nervous I was coming up to her and she laughed and said that I shouldn’t be.  Then she told me to sit by her like we were the best of friends.  I had to figure out how to form words so that I didn’t end up doing an interpretive dance in front of Rachel Hollis.  Although she might have joined me.  A few of my friends are also just as obsessed with her as I am and BFFE went over to tell them she was hanging out with us.  We decided to take pictures, of course, and this is how we ended up in hysterics.

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OMG my face.  I might be a tad excited to meet Rachel Hollis
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Selfie time!  How freaking adorable is she?

As we were gathering for what I would call a photo-op with Rachel Hollis, one of our friends, S.G., saw us all sitting together and jumped in for the photo.  Being it is our group of weirdos, she started posing all crazy and being her normal self.  We all started to giggle because she is so outrageous and she turned around and said “What?” and then it happened.  She saw Rachel Hollis sitting in between two of us.  She did a double take and the words “Oh My God it’s Rachel Hollis!  Rachel Hollis guys!  Are we taking a picture with Rachel Hollis?  Hey girl hey!”   And then, being who she is, S.G. turned around and once again posed for a photo.  Meanwhile, we are all in hysterics, tears running down both mine and Rachel’s faces over S.G.’s comments.  We laughed forever over this moment and we still all talk about it.  At least I am not the only one to fangirl like that over an author.  I am glad that Rachel Hollis is such a good sport and loved hanging out with us weirdos….at least I hope she did. Also, “Hey girl hey!”  Might be my new favorite phrase.

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The before shot.  We all look so normal here.  Photo credit:  Cecile Bonzo
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The best photo ever.  Hey girl hey! Photo credit:  Cecile Bonzo

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I did meet Rachel Hollis and almost die of laughter but I didn’t die.  I am Fat Girl who still fangirls over other authors and forgets to speak English Running.  The experiment continues…

 

The Adventures Of BFF and Fat Girl at Comicon 2015


I realized that I had yet to tell you of all the fun BFF and I had at Comicon this year.  I have regaled you with tales of BFF getting injured at every turn and told you how not to be a dick but not about what we did so I shall change that now.  Our adventures started with driving down to the hot box that is Phoenix and checking into our hotel.  I must say that BFF and I are hotel snobs so we stayed at a nice hotel…we had even managed to get a cottage room.  For only being gone a weekend, BFF and I sure know how to overpack….we brought like 8 bags!  Ok but one was filled with snacks for Comicon and one was a little cooler filled with water and Gatorade.  But the other 6….well….I dunno.  We like a lot of clothes ok?  Don’t judge.  The room was everything we hoped with a HUGE bathroom for two girly girls.  Although the shower was small with a glass door, which means you had to watch each other shower.  Also, the toilet did not have a door so watching each other poop was always an option.  Creepy.  But there were cute little bunnies outside our room every day….so I guess that makes up for having to watch each other poop.  Maybe.

The cottage where our room was located....ahhhhhh
The cottage where our room was located….ahhhhhh
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I would rather look at bunnies than BFF pooping….

We headed over to the convention center to check in, get our badges and head to the vendor hall to shop…cuz we LOVE to shop.  Take 2 geeky girls who like to shop and throw them in a hall with hundreds of geeky vendors and you have 2 geeky girls who squee with joy and spend lots of money.  Like an absurd amount.  As we came down the escalators to the vending hall, it was just opening and when we saw the crowds, we almost turned away and ran.  Hundreds of people waiting for the doors to open. Thank goodness they did right as we were coming down and the crowd dissipated quickly or we would have turned tail and run…neither one of us like crowds that much.  BFF quickly made her first purchase of Comicon…the cutest Boba Fett purse.  And by quickly, I do mean within 5 minutes.  But so worth it.  And not something you will find just anywhere.  This is how we spent Thursday night because the vendor hall is so big it took us 4.5 hours to walk the entire thing and shop.

Best purse ever.
Best purse ever.

Friday was filled with panels, shopping, exploring, wading through crowds, shopping, eating, more shopping and did I mention a photo-op with Michael Shanks?  SQUEE!!!  We are big fans of Stargate so getting this opportunity was amazeballs.  We knew we would not make his panel because for some reason it was on Saturday in a whole separate building and a floor down from the large ballroom where we were camping out to see Jason Momoa and Alyson Hannigan.  So there was no way we were gonna leave and attempt to get back in there.  That is crazy sauce.  So photo-op it was!  And well worth it!  I swear BFF barely contained running her hands up and down him and getting us kicked out.  Molester.  In between shopping and BFF molesting Michael Shanks, we decided to get some ice cream.  Because ice cream is the answer to whatever the question.  For serious.  I loves me some ice cream.  BFF had some major ice cream issues.  I swear she is like a 4-year-old with ice cream.  She ended up with it on her hands, cheek, eyebrow, arm, pants, hair and at some point her ear.  I have no idea how she got it on her ear.  What the heck was she doing with it when I wasn’t looking?  Spreading it around on various places hoping Michael Shanks would lick it off?  I am sure she was still thinking about molesting him and it made her ice cream melt faster.  I didn’t have those problems but maybe I ate mine fast or I actually know how to eat ice cream and she doesn’t.  Yeah.  Let’s go with that. Cuz eating it fast would imply that I was shoveling it into my gob, which in fact I really was because ice cream.  BFF, on the other hand, was a sticky hot mess.  Thank goodness we had already had our photo-op with Michael Shanks.

BFF restraining herself from molesting him.  You can see it behind her smile....
BFF restraining herself from molesting him. You can see it behind her smile….
Pretty soon this would be in so many places....
Pretty soon this would be in so many places….

Saturday at Comicon brought us camping out in the big ballroom to see all the big name celebrities, especially Jason Momoa and Alyson Hannigan.  We packed provisions and planned our potty breaks.  I even did lunges to prevent from getting a clot in my calf and to stretch my sciatica (this tip I learned from Pocket GF the first year we went).  Hands down, the best panel of the day was indeed Jason Momoa, who was gracious, funny and endearing.  It also brought more shopping.  You see, BFF and I have this addiction to a particular vendor called Sparkle! whose geeky jewelry brings us into her stall every year.  This year was no exception as we went back probably about 4 times to buy more.  I love arm candy and her bracelets are my newest addiction.  I swear I bought like 4 or 5 of them.  Don’t judge.

Khal Drago, Ronon Dex (Stargate Atlantis) and Aquaman all rolled into one...
Khal Drago, Ronon Dex (Stargate Atlantis) and Aquaman all rolled into one…
Best quote ever...hands down.  Harry Potter for life!
Best quote ever…hands down. Harry Potter for life!

Funny thing about Comicon is that every year, BFF and I know that a bunch of our friends are also attending but unless we attend with them, we usually never see them.  This is due to the huge crowds, the different panels, and our desire to shop till we drop.  Sometimes, we try to make it a point to hook up with people for meals and such, but this year we decided not to and our friends started stalking us.  Yup…we had stalkers folks!  Two of them actually found us in the vendor hall (good place to look for us in the maddening crowd of thousands) and managed to snag us for a few minutes and snap a photo or two….like the crazy stalkers they are.  Some call it stalking, I call it love.  Or practice for when I actually have fangirls/boys searching out the Fat Girl in a crowd to get a picture or snip a lock of my hair or even smell me.  Thanks to Foxy and JN for NOT snipping a piece of my hair although next time some squeeing would be in great order.  Foxy might have been sniffing me but I couldn’t tell if I should be weirded out or just chalk it up to her being a fangirl and all.  I mean, if you are gonna stalk us, you might as well fangirl….just saying.

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This one makes me look creepy and maybe it is because Foxy did just smell us…..
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Notice she stalked us in the vendor hall but is not trying to snip our hair or smell us….good job!

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I did however get my geeky shopping on and got stalked while at Comicon but I didn’t die.  I am Fat Girl who managed to get her picture taken with Michael Shanks, did not get ice cream everywhere and did not get my locks of my hair snipped off by a crazed fangirl Running,  The experiment continues…