How To Tell When BFF Is REALLY Sick


Over SuperBowl weekend, BFF and I went on our annual We Hate The Superbowl trip to Disneyland.  We needed a Dole Whip fix you see.  We also needed some fun after having so much grief in such a short period.  So off to the Happiest Place on Earth it was.  Just the two of us.  We made it a short trip and good thing we did because who would have thought that poor BFF would get sick.  And when she gets sick, she gets SICK.  So here is how to tell when BFF is REALLY sick.

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Dole Whip Fix!

The trip started out normally except that BFF complained that her allergies were terrible and that her nose was runny from them.  We really didn’t think anything of it to be honest.  I mean, I know life was throwing us tomatoes and neither one of us was sleeping much, but we really didn’t think she was sick.  I noticed more kleenex growing in a pile next to her in the car like Tribbles, but really I didn’t think she was sick. It was like the kleenex were breeding.  And BFF kept insisting it was allergies.  Then the coughing started.  And I mean coughing.  Hmmmmmm…..

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Even in the rain, we keep going
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I can see here in her eyes she doesn’t feel the best

Fast forward to one night when we came back to get our jackets to continue the night and so BFF could check in with her Momma.  I took the time to lounge on the bed and found a Harry Potter movie to entertain myself.  I mean, my feet needed a rest anyways and I was in no hurry to go back.  I did run over to the Club and grab us some foods to nosh on once she was done talking with her Momma and filling her in on all the fun we were having.  BFF finished her call, came and lounged next to me and we shoved some amazing foods in our gobs.  Next thing I know, we are still lounging watching Harry Potter and I realized something….BFF didn’t feel good.  There is no way she would let us just lounge in the room and watch a movie if she felt good.  I turned to her and asked her how she was feeling.  When she looked at me, I could see in her eyes she didn’t feel her best and she replied “I must not feel that good if it isn’t bothering me that we are just laying here watching Harry Potter instead of playing in the park.”  I then watched her  have a coughing fit and heard her wheezing next to me.  I handed her my inhaler and she agreed to use it, feeling better but not admitting she was sick.

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Despite her not feeling her best and us deciding she must take it easy, she persevered and got some amazing sleep.  We had a great time, despite her still not wanting to admit she was sick and our trip ended a little too soon.  We packed up and headed down to load up the car.  The valet brought the car around and I started helping put the bags where we wanted them for the drive home.  I turned to ask BFF where she wanted a bag and noticed she was on the phone.  Thinking she must be talking to her Momma, I figured it out and we climbed in.  It was then I heard her conversation and realized what she was doing….making a doctor’s appointment for the next morning.  BFF NEVER goes to the doctor unless she feels totally crappy (nurses make the WORST patients).  I mean NEVER.  Her spleen could be hanging outside her body and she would just slap some Saran wrap and duck tape over it and continue on with her day.  Like her spleen should just be hanging around outside her body.  Completely normal folks.  She once broke her toe and it was hanging off to the side.  What did she do?  Put it back in place and taped it to the other toe and put on her shoe and came to work.  BFF is a badass people.  She really never does go to the doctor.  Not even for check ups.  No joke.  So to hear her on the phone making a doctor’s appointment?  She REALLY did not feel good.   I looked at her questioningly when she got off the phone and she said to me “I think I am sick.”  Poor BFF.  And what a trooper to power through a trip at Disneyland.

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Nope. Not sick at all.

By the way, she was totally sick.  Bronchitis.  Antibiotics, and inhaler and steroids.  But you know, it was just allergies.

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I did discover what a trooper my BFF is and wish she would have just admitted she didn’t feel good but I didn’t die.  I am Fat Girl with a BFF who can’t ever admit she is sick until she is REALLY sick Running.  The experiment continues…

An Unexpected Water Ride


One of the funnest things about our last trip to Disneyland was how much time BFF and I got to spend with her Nephew.  BFF’s Brother married just over a year ago and his wife already had 4 kids, so we haven’t had much chance to spend quality time with the oldest Nephew (I shall call him Nephew S) in that family and this trip we did.  We discovered that he is one of the funniest dudes and we loved every minute we spent with him.  In fact, a lot of our pics are with Nephew S and it looks like it was just the three of us riding all the rides together.  I mean, we did spend a lot of time riding all the big kid rides with him so I guess that part is true.  On our last day there, we met up with the family inside Disneyland because we had to check out of our hotel and they were staying one more night.  On our way into the park, we get a frantic text from Nephew S asking where we were because he was stuck in Toon Town with the babies.  We quickly told him to haul his butt over to Space Mountain to ride it with us.  So started our fun morning with Nephew S that ended up having an unexpected water ride included in it.

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One of the many photos of the Big kids

Nephew S ran all the way from Toon Town to Space Mountain (quite a ways by the way) a and what made it even more impressive is that he has a bum knee.  We waited for him at the entrance of the ride and we all went in to ride it together with lots of screaming and laughing.  The line wait times were next to nothing so we decided to go ride The Matterhorn as well since everyone else was still in Toon Town and BFF and I are not a fan of that area of the park (we swear it smells like pee back there).  We had already ridden this one a bunch of times, but since the wait time was only like 10 minutes, we could not pass it up.  Now if you have never ridden this ride, it is a roller coaster whose cars are like bobsleds and you ride inside a mountain where a Yeti lives. It can be scary and fast.  At the end, you “splash down” into a bit of water but never have I gotten wet in all the years riding it.  The water is primarily there to cool off the brakes on the cars.  Sometimes I might get a few sprinkles on my glasses or in my mouth (Ew.  Dont get me started on the ride water in my mouth.  Sometimes we play a game where we ask each other which ride water we would rather drink. So gross) but never gotten wet like you do on a log ride like Splash Mountain.

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Fun Nephew time

I will be honest, this ride to me is scary because of the Yeti but Nephew S loves it and it is his favorite so I was happy to ride it again.  There might have been lots of screaming on my part as the Yeti tried to get me.  As we came down to the end of the ride, we were all laughing as we went into the “splash down”.  All of a sudden, a wall of water came over the bobsled and proceeded to soak all three of us.  And I mean soak.  What just happened?  How the heck are we now soaking wet like we went on Splash Mountain?  In shock, we all turned to each other and I believe I said to Nephew S “Dammit S!  This is all your fault! You wanted to ride this one!” while BFF was asking how that happened and were we going to die from getting water in our mouths.  It was then I realized I might have gotten some of the ride water in my mouth.  So disgusting. We started laughing hysterically as we were not planning on getting wet on that last day but here we were…soaking wet from The Matterhorn of all rides.  As we walked away, we were still asking each other how that happened and I still cannot figure it out.  That ride is not a water ride but trust me when I say we got soaked riding it. We have tried to figure out how this happened.  Was one of us heavier that day because of extra churros?  Were the water levels higher because of the heat?  Would we get hepatitis from the ride water? This may be a mystery that is never solved.

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Prior to water experience
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Not happy.  BFF’s bang did not survive the ride

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today. I did, however, get soaked on a ride that wasn’t supposed to do that and get ride water in my mouth but I didn’t die.  I am Fat Girl who had a fun time with my nephew but is still wondering when the hepatitis will set in from the ride water Running.  The experiment continues…

 

 

When Your Niece Makes You Proud By Breastfeeding…In Public


As you know, when BFF and I go to Disneyland, we quite frequently go with friends and family and as you read the last blog, it was with BFF’s Brother and his family.  We were super excited because not only was this her Brother’s first trip there, but also because the babies were going to be there.  BFF and I have been friends for so long that all her nieces and nephews call me Aunty #2 and now the great-nieces call me Graunty #2.  It is awesome.  Especially since I don’t have any nieces or nephews of my own.  As it was Halloween time at Disneyland, we all decided to go to one of the Halloween parties because they are amazing (if you go during Halloween tie, then for sure get tickets to the party).  One of the exclusive things that happens during the Halloween party is the parade and we made sure we got seated early to watch the special parade.

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How stinking cute is she?  

Now, even though it was the end of September, it was freaking hot while we were there.  Like temperatures in the 100s hot.  Even while we were sitting there waiting for the parade, it was hot.  I didn’t even dress up for the Halloween party because I knew I would be  too hot and didn’t want to deal with it.  So there we are, sitting on the curb on Main street, waiting for the parade when Baby B and Baby A showed up and we started entertaining them.  BFF left to go to the bathroom and somehow returned with popcorn (Disney popcorn id the BEST) and shoving popcorn in our gobs entertained us for quite a while.  At some point, Baby A, who is an infant, woke up and started crying.  It was quite apparent that she was hungry and since my niece breastfeeds, she decided to feed her.  My niece, being the awesome Mommy that she is, quickly put the baby to breast right then and there on Main Street.  Being nurses, BFF and I didn’t think anything about it.  At all.  Nor did it bother us.  She was doing what she needed to do…feeding her baby.  In fact, it so didn’t phase us that when her Brother brought it up later, we were shocked.  My niece breastfeeding in public shouldnt bother anyone but I guess it bothered the boys in the group.  Now I am not mad at the boys, just more bothered by the fact that society makes this such a big deal when it shouldn’t be.  Having a conversation with them made me realize how frustrated I am by society making public breastfeeding such a shameful act.  Let’s address the common issues shall we?

Issue #1:  She didn’t cover up.  Nope she sure didn’t.  It was almost 100 degrees. The baby was hungry and it was freaking hot.  Do you want to put a cover over your head while you eat in almost 100 degree temperatures?  Would you prefer she wait, with a screaming infant who could dehydrate till she could get to the breastfeeding area or bathroom in Disneyland.  No.  She didn’t have to.  She needed to feed her baby and did so quite quickly. You try eating with a blanket over your head.  See how you like it.  Are you hotter?  Do you feel like you are suffocating?  Now think about how a baby feels.  All they are trying to do is eat just like you.  There is no need for a cover up.  Period. Do you eat in the bathroom? With all the germs and smells, that sounds so delightful. Makes me want to grab my food and eat in there right now.  Gag.  If it makes you gag and you wouldn’t eat there,  then why should a baby.  That is disgusting.

Issue #2:  She didn’t warn them.  Nope.  Nor did she need to do so.  Do you warn people before you eat?  Do you feel the need to announce to the world that you are about to shove food in your pie hole?  Why should a breastfeeding mother?  This just draws more attention to her when she could just as quickly and quietly put baby to breast without everyone watching her.  Most of you walking down Main Street or sitting there near us probably didn’t even know she was breastfeeding.  So why should she announce to everyone that was what she was about to do?  If you don’t announce before you are going to consume a meal, then neither do breastfeeding mothers have to announce they are about to feed their babies.

Issue #3:  We saw her boob.  So freaking what.  It’s a boob people.  You saw it for a second and only a bit of it while she latched the baby.  Get over it.  If the world would quit sexualizing the breast, then this would not be an issue.  Breasts were not created for your enjoyment.  They were created to do exactly what my niece was doing…feed babies.  All you could see was tasteful sideboob.  If that bothers you, then don’t look.  I see more than that at the beach and with most celebrities at public functions.  Why is it ok for them but not for a mother who need to feed her baby?  Seriously…it is just a boob and the baby needed to eat. Quit your gawking.

Breastfeeding in public should NEVER be shameful.  It should never be something we ridicule or make mothers feel bad about doing.  Women were made to breastfeed their babies.  It should be celebrated and encouraged.  It should be normal.  A woman should not be made to feel ashamed for exposing her breast for a brief second to feed her baby nor be made to feed them in a bathroom.  Women should be allowed to breastfeed in public with no repercussions.  It is ridiculous that we sexualize breasts so much that a woman cannot do the simple natural act of breastfeeding in public.  I applaud all those women who do feed their babies in public without covering up and without a second thought.  I applaud all those that share photos of them breastfeeding on social media.  Most of all…I applaud my niece for feeding her baby on Main Street in Disneyland without so much as a second thought.  Sweet neice…you made me proud.

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I did stick up for my niece for breastfeeding in public without a second thought but I didn’t die.  I am Fat Girl who says stop shaming public breastfeeding and feed your babies Running.  The experiment continues…

The Power Of A Push


This year, on one of our trips to Disneyland, we got to go with BFF’s Brother and his family.  Her brother had never been to Disneyland so this proved to be quite the fun trip as we love going with people on their first visit.  I love watching their faces light up with excitement as they realize how magical that place really and truly is.  I love riding the rides with people and listening to their excitement.  It is just so much fun.  This trip was no exception.  Plus it was Halloween time at Disneyland which means that they change-up BFF’s favorite ride, Space Mountain to Ghost Galaxy and it is even scarier than usual.  We were all pumped to get on it, especially BFF’s Brother and we all got in line first thing.  What we were not prepared for was for it to be even scarier than usual when we got stuck on it.  Again.

Now if you will recall, BFF and I got stuck on this ride and had to be evacuated off on a previous visit.  Who would have thought it would happen again?  Certainly not us as we got on for BFF’s Brother’s first time ever riding Space Mountain.  If you aren’t familiar with the ride, it is a rollercoaster in the dark.  Completely in the dark, except for the stars and stuff to make it look like you are in outer space.  The ride started like normal and as we started to go down and around, screaming the entire time (especially BFF’s Brother), when all of a sudden, we stop and all the lights come on.  Super sudden.  It was creepy and weird as we all looked around at the ride with the lights on.  We were near the top but did not expect the rails to be so close!  There we sat as the announcement was made that soon cast members would be by to assist us.  Ummm…ok?  So there we were, sitting in a car with all the lights on inside Space Mountain.  We could look down and see how the ride is set up and see other cars on the tracks as well.  BFF’s Brother turned around and asked if this was normal to which we assured him it was not.  I took the opportunity to look around and take some pictures since I had never seen the ride with the lights on before.  Really you would be surprised at how close all the tracks are and it would make you think twice about putting your hands up when you are riding.  It was a little scarey to see how high up we were and how close the rails and the other cars were to us.

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Myself, BFF and the Nephew awaiting to see what will become of us
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Do you see how close all those other cars are below us?  We are not amused
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How the hell are we getting down?
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Right below us.  What happened to those two in the front?  Did the other riders eat them?

We waited for what seemed like an eternity for cast members to finally get to us.  We saw other cars leave till it was just us.  Were we going to be stuck there forever?  Would we have to resort to cannibalism to survive? Just when I was starting to panic slightly, two cast members run up to us.  They look at us and one says “Huh.  This car doesn’t usually stop here.  That is weird. This must be the problem.”  Well that statement doesn’t inspire any confidence dude.  Not at all.  He then tells us that they are going to send us down and if we want to ride again to just let the cast member know at the end of the ride and they will keep us on.  Wait.  Wat?  How the hell are we going to get down if the ride stopped?  He then looked at all of us, smiled and told us to hang on because they were going to give us a push.  A push?  What the heck?  What do you mean a push?  How will that keep us going?  We are going to ride down on the power of a push?  I was now slightly terrified as BFF’s Brother turned around and said “Oh My God.  We might die”

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A push you say?  Holy Hannah….

With a smile, the cast members indeed push us and our car starts to go.  Wait!  I have never held on so tight in all the times I have ridden that ride.  Faster and faster, it went along the entire ride track…with the lights on.  You could see how close and tight the turns were and it was truly terrifying.  Plus, no music, no sounds of power.  Just us and the car, flying down the tracks to our dooms.  That is what it felt like.  More scary than with the lights off.  Pretty sure you could hear my screams the loudest as we flew through the ride without the ride going.  Of course when we finished, we decided to stay on.  The girl behind the Nephew was terrified and didn’t want to stay on but did because we all did.  I think she was just as terrified as me as the car flew down that track.  Even though that car was the cause of the breakdown, we all decided to stay on and ride again. I might have held my breath a bit as we started back up the incline, but this time, the lights stayed off and we rode it the way it was intended…with the lights off thank goodness.  BFF’s Brother got to experience it in a way most people do not and loved it.  Both times.  I never want to have that happen again.  I think I would rather turn to cannibalism than ride Space Mountain in the dark.  I never want to have that scarey ride again.

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I thought I might as we got stuck in Space Mountain and got pushed down but I didn’t die.  I am Fat Girl who rode Space Mountain on the power of a push with the lights on Running.  The experiment continues…

On Being an Over-packer and New Shirts!


I am sitting here right now avoiding packing.  I absolutely hate packing.  I love to travel, but packing?  Nope.  Don’t love it even a little bit.  I am not so sure which is even worse…the actual packing or the unpacking and all the laundry that comes with it.  You should see me when I pack for one of our Disney trips.  You would think by now that packing for a trip like that is easy.  Yeah…no.  I am a notorious over-packer. Half the stuff I pack I never use, but what if you might need it?  Do you want to be caught without band aids and safety pins?  No.  You never know when you are going to need things.  I take twice as much stuff as I probably need.  I could never be one of those people who backpack through Europe with a pair of jeans and a toothbrush.  Nope.  First off that requires lots of outside time and I am such an indoor girl.  But for traveling?  Such an over-packer.

Take for example our recent four-day trip to Disneyland.  I need five shirts right?  No I need like ten.  Yup.  Ten.  I might wanna change or if I spill on one and don’t want to walk around with Dole Whip on my boob all day so this requires twice the amount of shirts.  Pants?  Now pants can be worn for days, especially jeans or jean capris.  Yeah so maybe three.  Then since I never know the weather, this will require two hoodies and a rain jacket (none of which I will use of course).  Double the unders and socks just in case and the unders need to match the bras which need to match the shirt choices.  Jammies.  You can’t forget jammies (well I have before but let’s not get into that).  An extra pair of shoes in case you get wet on a ride and need to change shoes.  Unless you are into walking around with squishy shoes.  I am not.  Oh we haven’t even gotten to the toiletries and makeup.  Ugh.  I fill a huge suitcase on my own.  Now let’s remember that BFF and I drive to Disneyland.  This now requires 2 coolers full of water and other drinks since we are driving across the desert and you never want to be without water doing that.  It is an 8 hour trip so this will require lots of snacks (most of which we wont eat because we know where to stop and get different crap).  I also need a smaller bag for the first night so I don’t have to take the bigger bag into that hotel.  OH!  Let’s not forget hair bows and headbands, watches and jewelry and all the things you need when you are old (like bengay, heat patches and pain meds).  Lastly, there needs to be a bag full of electronics for the car.  Things like the portable blu-ray player and movies, kindle, chargers, ipod, and whatever else is needed to keep BFF occupied while she is the passenger.  This is how we ended up with eleven bags for bell services to hold when we checked in.  Eleven bags between the two of us.  Sigh.  So ridiculous.

This trip I am currently packing for is different.  It is a book signing so this require so much more than just the basics.  Luckily, I don’t have to pack books to take to the signing as one of my friends lives there and I shipped them to her.  Whew.  That would be a whole extra bag.  And a heavy one at that.  Ugh.  But my big suitcase is already mostly full and I haven’t even put in clothes yet.  I have to pack my banner, bookmarks and candy, trays and markers, cash and money bag and cups/water bottles and t-shirts (YES!!  I got t-shirts!).  Speaking of t-shirts, I did a thing and had custom Fat Girl Running shirts made.  If you are in my fan group on Facebook (and why aren’t you?) then you already have the opportunity to order shirts at special prices.  Fat Girl Nation is the place to be I tell you so get in there!  Shirts will be up here on the blog on the merchandise form!  How cute are these shirts?  Made by Mockingbird Apparel, these shirts say “I didn’t die today” on the front and my branding on the back.  Her shop is awesome and full of nerdy shirts galore.  I can’t wait to see pics of you guys wearing your shirts!   But first, I must go finish packing.  I shall fill you all in on the signing when I get back.

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I just want to wear them all the time.

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I did however procrastinate packing and wish I could pack lighter but I didn’t die.  I am Fat Girl over-packer now with custom t-shirts Running.  The experiment continues…

The Scariest Ride To Get Stuck On At Disneyland


This last trip to Disneyland seemed to be the trip where we got stuck on rides.  Earlier I told you about BFF and I getting stuck on Hyperspace Mountain, and while slightly disturbing, nothing was as scary as all of us getting stuck on one of the most terrifying rides in the entire park.  One of the rides that I was afraid of dying on.  Seriously.  Let me tell you about this horrifying experience when Bubby, Pocket Fiance, BFF and I got stuck on the ride that scared us all to be stuck on. Insert shudder here.  Hold your children tight everyone because it is that frightening. That’s right. We got stuck on It’s A Small World.

In case you didn’t know, It’s A Small World is a classic ride at Disneyland.  It was actually created for the World’s Fair in 1964 and it is a ride all ages can enjoy.  If you enjoy hearing the same song sung over and over in all different languages for about 15 minutes.  The same exact song.  On repeat.  With these creepy figures from all the different countries signing it over and over and over.  We have actually joked before that this is where all the lost children go and have to live singing that song over and over and over.  It will stick in your head.  I am not kidding.  It is a ride that we usually avoid, except if we are there when the Christmas display is up or if it is extremely hot out because it is air-conditioned.  The only reason we rode it this time was because Pocket Fiance had never ridden it and it really is a classic ride.  So we decided to grin and bear it not knowing we might be facing imminent death getting stuck on it.

 

Luckily, the line for the ride wasn’t long and we got in a boat with others and began our journey into hell….I mean into the ride.  About half way, we think, our boat suddenly stops.  Just stops.  We watch as the boat in front of us disappeared into the next room and there we sit.  Alone.  Trapped in a room of creepy dolls singing the same song over and over. Their creepy smiles and weird mouths moving to mimic them singing this song that is now forever stuck in our heads.  I start to panic thinking I might be turned into one of those creepy dolls dressed up from Sweden moving back and forth lip syncing forever.  BFF also starts to panic as she doesn’t want to be part of this ride forever and ever either.  We all start talking about what we are going to do when Bubby, also terrified, leans over and starts frantically trying to paddle the boat with his arms.  I think “Genius!  If we an all paddle our way out, the dolls won’t get us!” I almost started paddling when I realized I didn’t want to put my hands in the water that might be infested with some sort of Ebola.  Great.  So now my choices are risk getting Ebola or be part of the creepy singing doll brigade.  Those are not great choices.  What do I do?  Luckily Bubby and another survivor in our boat had a great idea.  He and another person on our boat even manage to grab a hold of the wall, tipping the boat ever so slightly and scaring BFF who is afraid of falling into the water, to try to scoot us along.  It gets us going for a few minutes but then we are stuck again, in a wide turn where no one can reach the wall.  I am pretty sure at this point that we will die in here, our corpses never to be found because we have turned into one of the creepy dolls.  Even Pocket Fiance turns to BFF and I see the fear in her eyes as she realizes we are never getting out of this ride.  It is a terrifying thought.  The dolls are mocking us or maybe beckoning with their weird eye blinking and creepy big mouths.  They want us to join them.  Maybe this is why the song repeats because it lures you into a sense of peace so that you will join them.  It is the dark side of Disney.

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Freaking creepy ass dolls.  Even now they beckon for you to join them…

Just as I am about to resign ourselves to the fate of the creepy singing Small World dolls, it happens.  Then there is a sudden bump to the back of our boat.  We turn and see that another boat has come along and bumped us, sending us on our journey.  You can feel the palpable relief fill the boat and we almost cheer. We couldn’t wait for that ride to be over.  We practically sprinted out of the boat when it stopped at the end.  I am sure people thought we were crazy as we talked about never wanting to go on that scary ride again.  You wouldn’t either if you were thinking that those creepy Small World dolls were going to make you part of the ride, doomed to sing that infernal song forever and ever.  Nope.  Pretty sure it will be quite awhile before we ride that ride again.

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  We did manage to get stuck on the scariest ride in Disneyland but I didn’t die.  I am Fat Girl who really does not want to become on of the creepy mechanical dolls lip synching to the annoying song forever Running.  The experiment continues.

 

 

On Being Evacuated From Hyperspace Mountain


When you go to a place like Disneyland, they create a certain amount of “magic” on every ride.  They take it very serious.  Once, we asked a Cast Member how Tinkerbell flew over the castle during the fireworks and she answered “Why Pixie Dust, of course!”  We laughed but then tried to ask her again and we got the same answer.  You will recall, that we went this last trip for the Star Wars “magic” and were not disappointed….well, once we were.  Only once.  And this is how BFF and I had to get evacuated from Hyperspace Mountain.

Normally at Disneyland, Space Mountain is a fantastic roller coaster ride in the dark, that simulates you flying through space.  It is so much fun and goes super fast.  For the Star Wars release, Disneyland changed Space Mountain to Hyperspace Mountain and we really had no idea what to expect.  The four of us decided this was one of the first rides we would go get fast passes for since we knew the lines for it were going to be horrendous due to the enhancement.  When we all finally got in line, we were super excited.  You are talking about four Star Wars geeks, all wearing Star Wars t-shirts, getting on a favorite ride (it is BFF’s absolute favorite ride in the park) that is now Star Warsed up.  We climbed into the rocket cars (you step into them as there are no doors) and pulled our lap bars down.  AS we started, and the Stars Wars theme music started, there might have been four Star Wars geeks in the front two rows who all cheered, clapped, and squeed with delight but I can’t be for sure. No really, that happened.  We really did get that excited and the Cast Member sitting up in the “control booth” might have laughed and smiled down at us.  The ride was AMAZING!!  None of us really thought Space Mountain could get any better, but imagine not only flying through space, but being part of a battle between the Rebel Alliance and the Galactic Empire and you have Hyperspace Mountain.  Tie Fighters and X-Wing Fighters swooshing around you, lasers going off in front of you, the Death Star above you….nothing prepared us for the experience of Hyperspace Mountain and we left satisfied and wanting to ride it again immediately.  We did ride it several more times over the next few days, but it was when BFF and I rode just the two of us, that it was not so magical.

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The excitement is real.  As is BFF’s hair in Bubby’s face.

On our last day, BFF and I had these “magic” fast passes from staying at the Grand Californian.  They allowed us to get on any ride that had fast passes available at any time of our choosing.  We chose to use these for one last ride on Hyperspace Mountain since we loved it so much.  We climbed in the back of a rocket car, pulled down our lap bars, and started our journey….well sort of.  As we turned the corner to start the climb up into hyperspace, the lights all came on and our car stopped.  We looked at each other, a little frightened and laughing a bit as we had discussed with Bubby and Pocket Fiance about what this ride must look like with the lights on at some point in line.  All of a sudden, there was a loud booming voice overhead, alerting us to the fact that Cast Members would be by soon to assist us in our evacuation of the ride.  Evacuation?  So, ok….this ride was not gonna happen today.  BFF and I got super nervous….I mean we were on a hill.  How were they gonna get us out?  A few minutes went by and 2 girl Cast members walked by, asked everyone in the cars if we were alright and then let us know that they had to go further in to the ride to rescue those people and would be back for us.  How long was that gonna be?  Were we going to have to resort to cannibalism?  Can we squeeze out of the lap bars ad get out of the cars?  These were all questions we asked each other as we waited and thanked our foresight for having gone to the restroom before the ride.  What seemed like an eternity later, with the same voice repeating the same announcement in this incredibly ear-splitting volume every few minutes, two male Cast Members came by and stood by our cars, joking with us and waiting for the girls to come back before we could be evacuated.  Finally, they climbed down all the stairs (yes!  There are stairs all along the sides) to our car to explain the evacuation procedure.

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Will we have to resort to cannibalism?  This is a pressing question.

The Cast Members explained that they would release the lap bars, we would climb out and slide down the side of the car until we hit the stairs.  Now for the front of the car, this is not that far as they were closer.  For BFF and I, our end of the car, the back end, was about head high for the male Cast Members.  All I could think of, as I watched the people in front of me easily climb out of the car, was how in the world was I going to hoist my Fat Girl Butt over the edge of this rocket car and slide down it to the ground below?  It was a real concern.  I really did not know how I was going to get over the side of the car.  I was starting to sweat with stress, knowing that everyone is going to be watching The Fat Girl attempt to hoist herself out of the car and not fall.  I started to giggle nervously as I waited for my turn to come.  The lap bar was released and all the people in front of BFF and I got out easily.  Then it was my turn.  Oh lordy.  Here we go.  I turned and tried to figure out how I was gonna get over the side.  I can’t lift myself up with my arms cuz I am fat.  As I struggled for what felt like forever but in reality was only a minute or two, the Cast Member asked me if I needed help.  Yeah.  The last thing I need is to crush some poor Cast Member as I fall out of the damn ride. Or to be the one person, the Fat Girl, that has to be helped out of the ride, with some sort of crane, because I am too fat to do it myself.  I finally figured out if I stood up on the seat, I could slide down the car, my shirt riding up the entire time exposing my stoob to everyone, and safely land on the floor.  Yeah that wasn’t embarrassing at all.  BFF climbed out easily and our group is led out through the empty building.  It was way creepy, the empty building with all the lights on and nobody around.  The good thing to come out of being rescued from a ride?  They give you and even more “magic” fast pass that is good for immediate entrance to any ride in the park.  ANY ride people!  BFF and I chose wisely and used it for Peter Pan…Booyah to not having to wait that 45 minute wait! SCORE!

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When the lights come on, it is not so Hyperspacey or magical for that matter.

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  BFF and I did have a not so magical experience and have to e rescued from Hyperspace Mountain, but we didn’t die (or result to cannibalism I am happy to report).  I am Fat Girl who extricated herself from the rocket car and showed a bunch of strangers my stoob but got a magic fast pass and bypassed everyone on Peter Pan Running.  The experiment continues….