Always Answer When Your Mom Calls

When BFF and I go to the annual Nerdfest that is Phoenix Comicon, we usually spend time shopping in between panels and photo ops.  The very first day?  Oh no…that is dedicated completely to shopping.  The exhibition hall where all the vendors are opens at 4p and we are there, ready to shop till we drop.  Why?  Because we are girls…NERDY girls.  And Comicon is the perfect place for us to get our nerdy shopping on.  We actually have certain vendors that we repeatedly shop and search out before we even get there so we know where there booths are.  I mean, come on…there are not a lot of places for girls to get things like nerdy jewelry and purses and such like Comicon.  The exhibition hall is HUGE.  It actually takes us quite a while to get through all the vendors and artists, so that is why we dedicate that first day to just that…shopping.  This year, we were completely oblivious to a major incident that occurred while we were in our shopping haze.  Apparently, this year, someone had a BIG problem with The Green Power Ranger.

There we were, just minding our own business, wandering around fulfilling our nerdy little shopping desires, when my phone started vibrating in my pocket.  I pull it out and notice that it is BFF’s Momma.  I was actually quite a bit freaked out by this.  Why would her Momma be calling me and not BFF?  What was happening?  Who died?  Is the world ending?  Is the zombie apocalypse starting and here we are stuck in the vendor hall with all these people and no escape?  Are we going to get eaten? All these questions frantically ran through my brain as I went to answer the phone.  In my panicked state that the world was possibly ending, I actually hung up on her Momma and never even got to hear if they were under zombie attack.  Luckily, BFF had seen it was her Momma calling when I pulled out my phone and started calling her back right away.  My sense of panic rising that maybe the zombie virus had, in fact, been let loose and we were going to need an escape route, I then started scanning for our quickest route out of the nerdy shopping heaven.  I had already decided who we could shove in the way of the zombies so that we could get out.  The dude dressed as Link would be useful with his bow and arrow, so he could tag along.  But the kid dressed as Iron Man…nope.  I am so shoving him in front of a zombie so we can escape.  I mean, what good is a plastic mask and a puffed up suit to look like muscle?   Nothing I tell you when it comes to a zombie eating his face or mine.  That fake Iron Man has no value in the zombie apocalypse unless he somehow turns into the real Iron Man.  Then I am catching a lift for BFF and me out of there.  Also the first to go?  The gal dressed as Princess Peach from Super Mario Brothers.  Useless. The big poufy dress might help slow some zombies down but I assure you, unless she has weapons stored under that hoop skirt, she is a goner.

Luckily, as BFF was talking to her Momma, I realized I could stop planning our escape route as I heard her say “No we are fine.  Why?  What is going on? Nope.  We haven’t heard anything about that and we haven’t been evacuated and nobody looks like they know.  Huh.  That is weird.  Is everything else ok?  No, Momma, we really are ok but we will let you know.”  She hung up the phone with a puzzled expression on her face.  Her Momma had called because she heard on the TV that a shooter had been taken down at Comicon and arrested.  Well, whew.  At least it wasn’t zombies.  That would be worse.  We looked around to see if anyone had any clue that this was happening.  Nope.  In the vendor hall, it was business as usual, with all sorts of other nerds wandering around in their nerdy shopping haze.  Hmmmm.  We quickly got on social media and indeed saw that a dude who thought he was The Punisher had brought a bag full of guns to Comicon to apparently kill the actor who plays The Green Power Ranger.  Why the Green Power Ranger?  What had he done to him?  Had he used the wrong color powers?  Was the Green Power Ranger inherently evil and I didn’t know it?  Wait…did he have the zombie virus and this Punisher dude was trying to protect us?  I am still unsure if we ever got the answers to these questions, but at least they got him subdued and arrested before anyone at Con was actually hurt.  I still wonder what The Green Power Ranger ever did to this dude to make him want to actually kill him.  After the phone call from BFF’s Momma and reading about it on social media, BFF and I decided the nerdy shopping heaven would wait.  We peaced out and went back to our hotel.  Also, I was still concerned that maybe the Green Power Ranger was a code for zombie apocalypse and needed a better escape plan anyways for the next day.  Priorities man.


Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I did discover that while in the nerdy shopping heaven, you can plan a good escape route in case the zombie apocalypse does start while you are there, but I didn’t die.  I am Fat Girl still curious about what the Green Power Ranger ever did to deserve almost dying Running.  The experiment continues…

Comicon Creepers And How BFF And I Couldn’t Escape

Earlier this month, BFF and I returned to the Giant Nerdfest that is Phoenix Comicon to get our geek on and squee like the fangirls we are over different celebrities.  We also might have shopped till we dropped (such great geek shopping there, no joke).  Unfortunately for us, it also happened to be during a heat wave in what we have now termed the Devil’s Butthole.  There was even a hot wind so it felt like you were walking in an oven.  So not enjoyable.  But luckily, we were inside for most of the time and did not have to deal with the heat too much.  What we did have to deal with was the people.  And not just any people…some of these people were the creepers of the world.  The weird socially awkward types.  You know what I mean.  The kind of people who you usually shy away from in a social setting because they make you feel so uncomfortable.  Or you try to run away from but don’t want to seem rude.  BFF and I unfortunately had this experience this year at Comicon.  One that made us feel like we needed a creep detector.  It was not pleasant.

On the last day of Comicon, BFF and I decided the last minute to purchase a photo-op with one of the actresses from a BBC Doctor Who spin-off, Torchwood.  This meant we had some time between the last panel we went to go see and the photo op, so we decided to get some food and find a table to sit down and shove it in our gobs.  All the other days, we had left the convention to eat at some amazing pubs where we could consume some alcohol (which makes dealing with all the people at one of these events a lot easier) but seeing how we were driving home after our photo, we decided staying at the convention and eating there was easier.  We got our food and saw some seats open at a large table, so we went and grabbed them.  I sat next to this older guy and BFF had the luck of having the seat next to her empty.  We proceeded to start to shovel food in our mouths when the guy next to me starts talking.  I thought he was talking to someone else when all of a sudden I realized he was talking to me.  About Star Wars action figures.  Seriously Creeper Comicon Dude?  You don’t even know me or even took the time to introduce yourself.  Just started talking out of the blue to no one in particular but staring at me.  Why me?  I stopped mid bite to stare at this guy with what I am sure was either RBF or shock as he kept talking.  About Star Wars action figures.  How much is there to say about Star Wars action figures?  Apparently a lot.  After my initial shock wore off and BFF and I continued eating, I even turned slightly in my chair toward her, giving him my back.  What would that say to you?  Would it say keep talking or would you take that as a hint that I really did not give a care about your Star Wars action figures?  He kept talking.  Also, this guy was like 20 years my senior…no joke….rambling on and on about the action figures he couldn’t find at the convention.  Um….hello….I am eating here.  Go away.  Do not speak to me Creeper.

At this point, as BFF and I continue to eat while making pointed eyes at each other, Creeper Comicon Dude (CCD as we shall now call him) pulls out his phone to actually show me exactly what he is talking about and how much he has seen these sets going for outside the convention.  Now what am I supposed to do with this?  I don’t want to seem rude, so I feign interest and nod while I hurriedly shove more food in my face because I want to leave as soon as possible.  Wrong move on my part.  CCD took this as that I was truly interested.  Oh help me.  He started going on and on about a certain set of Star Wars action figures that is rare and how nobody has it and he can’t believe nobody has it here in the vendor hall.  I cannot eat any faster at this point.  BFF is trying not to laugh next to me but she understood my need to escape. She saw the desperation in my eyes as I turned towards her silently signaling that I needed help and eats faster than I have ever seen her, frantically shoving nachos in her mouth.  I almost burst into laughter at this point as she tried to shove like 10 nachos in her mouth at once so we could leave.  The silent language between us is crazy sometimes. As I watch her put so many nachos in her mouth that she looks like a chipmunk, CCD starts to pull out the action figures he has purchased to show us and I quickly stand up.  He continues to talk as I nod to say goodbye and say “Have a nice Con.” As BFF, who is still trying to fit as many nachos as she can into her mouth at once, and I walk away, he is still talking out loud about the action figures.  I can’t make this stuff up.

BFF and I are now laughing and trying to decide in his own creeper way if he was trying to flirt with me as we get in line to get our picture taken with Eve Myles.  I am not sure.  I mean he was nice but so socially awkward that maybe he was trying to flirt.  Or maybe he was just a talker and could not tell that I was not in the mood to people.  Especially with a Creeper Comicon Dude.  It is hard to tell.  As we walked back through the hall to leave after our photo, CCD was still sitting at the table and waved at us as we walked by like he wanted us to come back over and sit with him.  Nope.  Hard pass.

Us with Eve Myles from Torchwood.  Could I be any more excited?

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I did learn more about Star Wars action figures than I ever wanted to know but I didn’t die.  I am Fat Girl who didn’t want to people with Creeper Comicon Dude but just wanted to eat in peace Running.  The experiment continues…

Why BFF and I Do Not Like to People

At the beginning of December, BFF and I decided to try something new…you see Phoenix Comicon had started doing a FanFest last December and our inner geeks were dying to go and get our geek on so we went.  I would say this was like Comicon Lite….a smaller version of the main event in June but with a smaller venue, fewer guests and such.  It is even held at a completely different place than the main one.  We were pretty stoked though, as December means BBC isn’t filming and so this means a lot of BBC stars were going to be at FanFest.  We were most excited about two in particular:  for BFF it was Gareth David-Lloyd (Ianto from Torchwood) and for myself it was Karen Gillian (Amy Pond from Doctor Who).  So, reservations were made, photo ops purchased and the planning began.  You all know how BFF and I hate to people but really we hate to people in large crowds and any type of event like this was sure to bring people and not just any people…Comicon people.  Let’s be honest….you have read before about the strange people we meet at Comicon and this was no exception.  One such incident really stressed why BFF and I do not like to people in this case.

Since this was a smaller event, the main panels were in a largish room, but not as huge as the ballrooms at the convention center.  We discovered that this meant not as many people in the panels and you could basically get pretty close to the front without having to wait through the entire day, which I must admit was kind of nice.  We had decided to go to a film screening the first day that Gareth David-Lloyd was starring in and hosting the panel afterwards.  We had arrived early during another panel (per usual and before we realized we probably didn’t have to do so) and moved up when that panel was over to the 3rd row to get a get view of the screen and of course Gareth himself during the panel.  You have to understand something here…BFF is obsessed with Ianto Jones.  About as much as she is obsessed with Barrowman.  Like legit obsessed.  I was afraid she would lick him or something during our photo op but luckily she contained herself and just squealed and jumped up and down afterwards (it was pretty adorable).  So there we were, minding our own business, waiting the 30 minutes before the film screening to start when the incident happened.

BFF was crocheting Stormtroopers to give to her family for Christmas and I was messing around on Facebook and Snapchat (follow me there for funny stuff  ——> ladymiryaa).  No really, BFF was crocheting Stormtroopers.  Except for they didn’t have arms so they looked….well….like a penis.  No joke, BFF turned to me and asked me what it looked like and without hesitation, I answered “A Dicktrooper”….hence they became known as Dicktroopers till they got their arms attached.  No joke.  Judge for yourself.

Admit it…it looks like a penis.  #dicktrooper

Like I said, we were minding our own business, when a lady came up and asked if the seats next to us were taken.  We were the only ones in the entire row.  Do we look like we have that many friends?  Nope.  Seats aren’t taken.  Much to BFF’s chagrin, Strange Lady sits right NEXT to her…no comfort chair between them…and let’s just say she is not a small lady.  She practically sat ON BFF.  I looked around to see if there were other seats this Strange Lady could have taken…pretty sure most of the room was empty.  Unfortunately for BFF, this Strange Lady was a talker.  Like a she won’t shut up no matter how much you ignore her or have RBF talker.  I actually leaned over to BFF at one point and asked her if she wanted to switch seats but she said no.  She should have taken me up on it.  BFF has since stated that she is the Wife of the Mayor of Poopsville (remember him??)  and I believe her.  Poor BFF.  She was forced to make small talk with the Wife of the Mayor of Poopsville even though she didn’t want to people right then.  At all.  She was soon spared more chitter chatter when the film started and she shut the fuck up.

After the film was over, Gareth David-Lloyd and the guys who made the film held a panel where people could ask questions and they could talk about the film.  It was awesome.  So if you ever get a chance to see the movie I Am Alone, do it.  You won’t regret it. let me tell you something about BFF and I when it comes to panels at a Comicon event.  There is NO WAY IN HELL we are going to get up and ask as question.  Ummm…nope.  Hard pass.  We just enjoy listening to the questions others as and the answers the panelists give.  Our introvertness would never allow us to get up and do something like that in public.  So we sat, listened and endured the Wife of the Mayor of Poopsville, who by the way, had finally moved over enough to where she was not sitting on top of BFF.  The panel ended and the moderator told all those that had asked a question to come up and see him (remember way smaller group of people).  We packed up our stuff quickly and tried to get the hell away from the Wife of the Mayor of Poopsville.  As we were walking out, we heard her say “Nurse?  Oh Nurse? Excuse me Nurse?” (at some point BFF had said she was a nurse to her) and I think we both groaned out loud.   We turned around to see her frantically trying to catch up with us and as she did she asked us the most bizarre question.  The conversation went something like this:

WotMP:  “When you go up to get your prize for asking a question, can I have it?”

BFF (with severe RBF and super annoyed now):  “I didn’t ask a question.”

WotMP (confusion on her face):  “Yes you did.  And the moderator said you should go up and get something.  Can I have whatever you get?”

BFF (Murderface has now replaced RBF and she might punch this lady in the vagina):  “I did not ask a question.” (mind you we are still walking at this point) followed quickly by me stating: “No she didn’t.”

WotMP (even more confused and adamant): “Yes you did!”

Me (now I am pissed and want to punch her in the throat and the vagina):  “No she didn’t.  And she never would. So go away.”

At this point we were able to walk away from WotMP and out of the room and looked at each other incredulously.  First off, who the fuck are you to ask us if you can have whatever swag or photo or whatever was being given out for asking questions in a small panel?  We don’t know you.  Neither one of us asked a question.  Not once.  We might have drooled over Gareth but NEVER would we have asked a question.  Secondly, don’t you think we are fans too?  We would probably want whatever was being given to us for asking a question so why the fuck would we give it to you?  Go away.  We are not friends.  And lastly…who the fuck do you think you are?  Rude.  Can you not tell we don’t like to people?  OMG….you cannot sit with us.  Period.  Rude.

You can’t sit with us.  For reals.  Go away WotMP.

This is exactly why BFF and I don’t like to people at events.  Unless we know you.  Nope.  Because of weird rude experiences like this one.  Guess we need to practice our #murderfaces instead like someone else we know (BS girls you know who I am talking about!).  Seriously we don’t like to people.  Despite the WofMP, the day was not a waste because this happened and BFF’s smile says it all:

Ianto!  He even said “I will be the filling in your sandwich any day!”  Swoon.

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I did however discover that there is a new level to the weird and rude people you can meet at events like Fanfest which almost made me punch someone in the throat and vagina but I didn’t die.  I am Fat Girl working on my #murderface and meeting Ianto Running.  The experiment continues…



The Adventures Of BFF and Fat Girl at Comicon 2015

I realized that I had yet to tell you of all the fun BFF and I had at Comicon this year.  I have regaled you with tales of BFF getting injured at every turn and told you how not to be a dick but not about what we did so I shall change that now.  Our adventures started with driving down to the hot box that is Phoenix and checking into our hotel.  I must say that BFF and I are hotel snobs so we stayed at a nice hotel…we had even managed to get a cottage room.  For only being gone a weekend, BFF and I sure know how to overpack….we brought like 8 bags!  Ok but one was filled with snacks for Comicon and one was a little cooler filled with water and Gatorade.  But the other 6….well….I dunno.  We like a lot of clothes ok?  Don’t judge.  The room was everything we hoped with a HUGE bathroom for two girly girls.  Although the shower was small with a glass door, which means you had to watch each other shower.  Also, the toilet did not have a door so watching each other poop was always an option.  Creepy.  But there were cute little bunnies outside our room every day….so I guess that makes up for having to watch each other poop.  Maybe.

The cottage where our room was located....ahhhhhh
The cottage where our room was located….ahhhhhh
I would rather look at bunnies than BFF pooping….

We headed over to the convention center to check in, get our badges and head to the vendor hall to shop…cuz we LOVE to shop.  Take 2 geeky girls who like to shop and throw them in a hall with hundreds of geeky vendors and you have 2 geeky girls who squee with joy and spend lots of money.  Like an absurd amount.  As we came down the escalators to the vending hall, it was just opening and when we saw the crowds, we almost turned away and ran.  Hundreds of people waiting for the doors to open. Thank goodness they did right as we were coming down and the crowd dissipated quickly or we would have turned tail and run…neither one of us like crowds that much.  BFF quickly made her first purchase of Comicon…the cutest Boba Fett purse.  And by quickly, I do mean within 5 minutes.  But so worth it.  And not something you will find just anywhere.  This is how we spent Thursday night because the vendor hall is so big it took us 4.5 hours to walk the entire thing and shop.

Best purse ever.
Best purse ever.

Friday was filled with panels, shopping, exploring, wading through crowds, shopping, eating, more shopping and did I mention a photo-op with Michael Shanks?  SQUEE!!!  We are big fans of Stargate so getting this opportunity was amazeballs.  We knew we would not make his panel because for some reason it was on Saturday in a whole separate building and a floor down from the large ballroom where we were camping out to see Jason Momoa and Alyson Hannigan.  So there was no way we were gonna leave and attempt to get back in there.  That is crazy sauce.  So photo-op it was!  And well worth it!  I swear BFF barely contained running her hands up and down him and getting us kicked out.  Molester.  In between shopping and BFF molesting Michael Shanks, we decided to get some ice cream.  Because ice cream is the answer to whatever the question.  For serious.  I loves me some ice cream.  BFF had some major ice cream issues.  I swear she is like a 4-year-old with ice cream.  She ended up with it on her hands, cheek, eyebrow, arm, pants, hair and at some point her ear.  I have no idea how she got it on her ear.  What the heck was she doing with it when I wasn’t looking?  Spreading it around on various places hoping Michael Shanks would lick it off?  I am sure she was still thinking about molesting him and it made her ice cream melt faster.  I didn’t have those problems but maybe I ate mine fast or I actually know how to eat ice cream and she doesn’t.  Yeah.  Let’s go with that. Cuz eating it fast would imply that I was shoveling it into my gob, which in fact I really was because ice cream.  BFF, on the other hand, was a sticky hot mess.  Thank goodness we had already had our photo-op with Michael Shanks.

BFF restraining herself from molesting him.  You can see it behind her smile....
BFF restraining herself from molesting him. You can see it behind her smile….
Pretty soon this would be in so many places....
Pretty soon this would be in so many places….

Saturday at Comicon brought us camping out in the big ballroom to see all the big name celebrities, especially Jason Momoa and Alyson Hannigan.  We packed provisions and planned our potty breaks.  I even did lunges to prevent from getting a clot in my calf and to stretch my sciatica (this tip I learned from Pocket GF the first year we went).  Hands down, the best panel of the day was indeed Jason Momoa, who was gracious, funny and endearing.  It also brought more shopping.  You see, BFF and I have this addiction to a particular vendor called Sparkle! whose geeky jewelry brings us into her stall every year.  This year was no exception as we went back probably about 4 times to buy more.  I love arm candy and her bracelets are my newest addiction.  I swear I bought like 4 or 5 of them.  Don’t judge.

Khal Drago, Ronon Dex (Stargate Atlantis) and Aquaman all rolled into one...
Khal Drago, Ronon Dex (Stargate Atlantis) and Aquaman all rolled into one…
Best quote ever...hands down.  Harry Potter for life!
Best quote ever…hands down. Harry Potter for life!

Funny thing about Comicon is that every year, BFF and I know that a bunch of our friends are also attending but unless we attend with them, we usually never see them.  This is due to the huge crowds, the different panels, and our desire to shop till we drop.  Sometimes, we try to make it a point to hook up with people for meals and such, but this year we decided not to and our friends started stalking us.  Yup…we had stalkers folks!  Two of them actually found us in the vendor hall (good place to look for us in the maddening crowd of thousands) and managed to snag us for a few minutes and snap a photo or two….like the crazy stalkers they are.  Some call it stalking, I call it love.  Or practice for when I actually have fangirls/boys searching out the Fat Girl in a crowd to get a picture or snip a lock of my hair or even smell me.  Thanks to Foxy and JN for NOT snipping a piece of my hair although next time some squeeing would be in great order.  Foxy might have been sniffing me but I couldn’t tell if I should be weirded out or just chalk it up to her being a fangirl and all.  I mean, if you are gonna stalk us, you might as well fangirl….just saying.

This one makes me look creepy and maybe it is because Foxy did just smell us…..
Notice she stalked us in the vendor hall but is not trying to snip our hair or smell us….good job!

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I did however get my geeky shopping on and got stalked while at Comicon but I didn’t die.  I am Fat Girl who managed to get her picture taken with Michael Shanks, did not get ice cream everywhere and did not get my locks of my hair snipped off by a crazed fangirl Running,  The experiment continues…

How Not To Be A Dick At Comicon

When you go to a large convention of sorts, like Comicon, you are bound to run into people who are just plain rude.  Some people can’t help themselves and some just are completely oblivious to the thousands of other people around them.  Sigh.  If we all just played nice, then the world would be a better place.  But since we can’t, here are my rules for how not to be a dick at Comicon (which, actually, are good rules in general and can be used in any situation).  Because let’s face it…sometimes people are dicks.

1.  Don’t use paint thinner or turpentine to remove your body paint in a public bathroom.  For reals we experienced this.  BFF and I walked in to pee, which is normal in a public bathroom, only to be assaulted by this gal removing her body paint with this toxic fumage.  First off, why are you carrying around paint thinner in your bag anyways?  And what kind of paint are you using on your body to require paint thinner or turpentine? Public bathrooms are not known for their ventilation systems as it is, so why would you remove your body paint with a toxic asthma inducing chemical in there?  Pretty sure you should only use that around windows and such….and public bathrooms do not have those.  I almost had an asthma attack and if I hadn’t had to pee so bad, we would have found another potty.  Good thing is the smell of the turpentine covered up the smell of whatever someone else was doing in the stall next to me as she grunted loudly.  I didn’t stick around long enough to find out since the fumes from the turpentine were trying to kill me.

2.  Put your pole down.  If you are gonna sit in front of people and your cosplay costume involves a pole or staff of some sort, place it on the ground.  Don’t sit there with it in the air, thereby blocking the 1000 people behind you from seeing anything in the panel.  We actually had to ask a Comicon employee to ask her to put it down. WTF?  She caused us to have Resting Bitch Face because she was being such a dick.  You are not Little Bo Peep and we are not your sheep…just saying.

Hello?  Can you not see hte thousands of people behind you?  Put your freaking pole down!
Hello? Can you not see the thousands of people behind you? Put your freaking pole down!
Resting Bitch Faces beacuse of someone who thought she was Little Bo Peep apparently
Resting Bitch Faces because of someone who thought she was Little Bo Peep apparently

3.  If you are gonna ask a celebrity a question in a panel, pay attention to the questions that have been asked before you.  I mean, asking Jason Momoa to say something in Dothraki he had literally said the minute he walked out on stage?  Dick move.  Repeating a question that has already been answered or taking 10 minutes to phrase your question with so much babble that no one can figure out what your question is?  Dick move.  Also…don’t be weird and make the celebrity uncomfortable by asking in front of 5000 fans if you can have a hug.  Dick move and awkward.  No joke, this guy was uber awkward and practically made my skin crawl so I can imagine how Jason Momoa felt.  Nobody wants to look like a dick by turning you down for a hug dude, but you were so creepy and weird about it that it made you look like a stalker.  If you are gonna be a stalker, learn how to do it right.  Ugh.  If a celebrity asks you to not ask for spoilers or to stay way from a topic and you then walk up to the mic and ask for a spoiler?  Dick move.  Be respectful to their time and the others sitting in the same room with you.

4.  Febreeze your costume.  If you are gonna cosplay the same costume the entire weekend, febreeze that shit.  I mean, we all know you can’t easily wash your handmade Joker costume, but if you are gonna wear it for 3 days in the 115 degree heat, at least febreeze it.  We can smell you coming down the hallway.  Just saying.  At some point, you are gonna be in a small enclosed room sitting next to someone and you stink.  Febreeze is your friend cosplayers….because remember, nobody wants to sit next to the Mayor of Poopsville.

5.  The last and most important rule on how not to be a dick is to perform at least one random act of kindness while you are there.  BFF and I were wandering the vendor hall (where we spend a majority of our time cuz hello! geeky shopping) and we stopped to look at some jewelry a gal had for sale.  We started talking to her and she asked us if we knew where people were getting the popcorn she saw everyone wandering around with since she was starving but had nobody to relieve her.  We told her where to find it and expressed our sadness at her non popcorn state.  As we walked away, BFF and I looked at each other and immediately both said “Let’s go find her some popcorn!”  So we went to the first snack station we saw, bought her some popcorn and immediately returned to her booth with it.  The look of gratitude and surprise on her face was totally worth it.  She even tried to pay us, but we wouldn’t take her money.  We know what it is like to be hangry and with the thousands of people there wandering around, hangry is not a state you want to be in.  Random act of popcorning accomplished.

If you follow these simple rules, you won’t be a dick at Comicon….we swear it.  Everyone around you will have a better time and not be annoyed by you.  We can then spend the entire time looking like this:

Happy not being a dick faces

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I did observe some dick moves but I didn’t die.  I am Fat Girl who knows how not to be a dick at Comicon Running.  The experiment continues…

When Bathrooms Attack or How BFF Was A Klutz At Comicon

When BFF and I travel together, there is ALWAYS an adventure. This year at Comicon, it was a rather klutzy one for poor BFF.  We headed down to the Ultimate Geekfest as usual to commune with our peeps and to hopefully stalk some celebrities.  John Barrowman was unfortunately not there this year so we could not stalk him or Wil Wheaton.  After checking into our gorgeous cottage room at our hotel, we headed over to join the craziness that is Phoenix Comicon.  Here is where BFF’s tale of woe begins.  A tale of terror in 2 different bathrooms that ends up with BFF being traumatized by bathroom stall doors and razors.

We were up wandering around where all the celebrities were going to be housed so we could see who to stalk and see where to get our photo op done when we both decided to visit the urination station on that floor.  We go in and go to do our thing.  I hear BFF say “Ow!” kinda quiet and figure she had hit herself somehow.  It happens.  I say things quiet like that all the time, although I swear BFF has supersonic bat hearing.  Once, we were discussing gummi vitamins and BFF said she didn;t like gummi anything.  I proceeded to say under my breath in the quietest whisper “Cuz you’re weird.”  She quickly turned her head and said “I am NOT weird!  I am texturally challenged!” How the heck she heard me is still beyond me to be honest.  But I did hear her say “Ow” as we were in the potty.  I was at the sink washing my hands when BFF came out to join me in the washing.  SIDE NOTE:  What the heck is up with people NOT washing their hands after using the restroom?  Ew.  Do you think your parts are so clean that you don’t need to wash your hands after peeing or pooping?  And then you go and touch things or people.  Gross.  I might have just gagged.  I swear I am gonna create and alarm system that will go off if you walk out of a public restroom without washing your hands so people will know how gross you are.  End rant.

BFF then explained the source of her quiet pain…the bathroom stall door had attacked her.  She had run into it pretty hard with her armand she turned to show me.  Holy Bruises Batman! It had immediately bruised bcause she hit it so hard and was starting to swell a little.  She really did get attacked by the door!  Crazy attacking bathroom stall doors at Comicon!  I even documented the bruise to prove it…you can see the progression and feel bad for BFF’s traumatic experience in the bathrooms at the Phoenix Convention Center.

The grevious injury caused by the bathroom stall immediately after it happened...ouchie
The grevious injury caused by the bathroom stall immediately after it happened…ouchie
Nice shade of 2
Nice shade of purple…day 2
Day 3...still looks gnarly
Day 3…still looks gnarly

BFF’s other tale of terror takes place in our hotel bathroom.  She is in there taking a shower and I am watching TV, awaiting my turn, when I hear a slew of curse words come sreaming from the bathroom.  Now, BFF doesn’t curse very often and rarely uses the Eff word, so to hear this coming from the bathroom repeatedly was a bit of a shocker for me.  When she finally emerged, still swearing, I saw why.  BFF, in shaving her legs, had somehow managed to shave off part of her fingernail. Now, I did not photo document this grevious injury as I was so horrified that I could not even fathom a picture of it.  Her fingernail was missing a chunk from the middle to a ragged point at the end.  It was quite horrifying and made me shudder with how badly that must have hurt to get wet.  Now I understood the proclivity of profanity that came out of her mouth.  She swears like a sailor when she gets injured.  Words I didn’t even know she knew came out of her.  I helped bandage her up and went to take my shower to discover the inside of the shower looked like something out of Psycho….blood spatters everywhere.  I was in a horror film for sure.  It was so gross to look at for the next few days and I can only imagine what it felt like to BFF.  Klutzy BFF.

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I did experience how bathrooms attack you and leave you with grevious injuries and considered an alarm system if you don’t wash your hands after using a bathroom (again GROSS) but I didn’t die.  I am Fat Girl with a klutzy BFF (who can swear profusely) this trip to Geekfest 2015 Running.  The experiment continues…

Would You Like Fries With That Barrowman Sandwich?

You all know by now, or at least you should, that BFF and I attend the local Geekfest every year known as Phoenix Comicon.  We proudly let our geek flag fly and join thousands of other like-minded geeks in squees of joy over our favorite celebrities, shows, costumes…you name it and everything geeky, nerdy and cool can be found at Comicon.  Being HUGE Firefly and Doctor Who fanatics, BFF and I were particularly excited this year for two panels in particular:  Nathan Fillion and John Barrowman.  But especially Barrowman…we absolutely adore Capt. Jack.  So we packed nerdy t-shirts and headed to the hotbox of Phoenix in the summer…the only thing that would get us down there in the summer is Comicon and the chance to stalk Barrowman.

We had decided this year to stay away from all the hotels in the Comicon general area to avoid the con-goers.  Don’t get us wrong, we love our fellow geeks but they can be pretty excited about Con and quite noisy.  One year, we had a room full of boy gamers next door to us…to say they were over exuberant as they gamed into the wee hours of the night was an understatement.  Plus, BFF and I are admittedly hotel snobs and decided to stay at a resort instead.  What can we say?  We like soft beds and room service.  Especially room service.  For reals.  Nothing like having someone bring food to your hotel room so you can scarf to your heart’s delight in private.  So, after a fantastic night’s sleep and great room service breakfast, we headed down to retrieve my car from valet.  Of course, we had on our comic book shirts (Batman of course!!) and our passes that said we were allowed entry into Geekfest 2014.  When we arrived at the valet, the dude asked me if we were waiting for the shuttle to the Con. The what?  Wait…why do they have a shuttle?  Huh.  When I said no we were getting the keys to my car that was parked there he went to get them.  BFF started walking to the car and I looked up at the guy standing in front of me on his phone.  He looked up and smile and I about died…Barrowman was right there!  Capt. Jack Harkness in the flesh…in front of me…me unable to speak with my mouth open.  Wait…my brain is trying to decipher this info.  This means Barrowman is at my hotel. Wow.  I recovered my ability to speak and quickly called BFF.  She came back, slightly annoyed that I didn’t have my keys yet and asked “What?” in an annoyed way.  I whispered “Look” to which BFF immediately lost her ability to speak as well and uttered some sort high-pitched alien sound and quickly pulled me toward the car.  I didn’t even realize my keys had been handed to me at this point but since we had lost our ability to speak English, we figured it was best to just get into the car.  Once inside, BFF and I looked at each other and screamed like the fangirls that we are..loudly, I might add.  A fangirl dance of joy also might have happened in my car.  BFF then turned to me and asked “Do you think he realized we love him?”  I took a look in my rearview mirror, saw him smiling at our car, and replied “Pretty sure since he totally heard us squee.”  Probably made his day…I know it made ours.

On the last day of Con, BFF and I had purchased a photo-op with our love Barrowman.  Our love for him is truly only matched by our love for Wil Wheaton, who was not at this year’s Con so we stalked Barrowman instead of Wheaton.  A photo-op, for those non Con-goers out there, is when you can purchase the opportunity to have your photo taken with a celebrity.  Totally worth it, in case you were wondering.  We even went as far as decking ourselves out in complete Doctor Who shirts and jewelry for our photo.  John Barrowman seriously loves his fans and really is one of the best celebrities to ever have an encounter with…he is extremely grateful for all his fans.  Before all the photos started, JB (that is what I call him now cuz we are so close and all) came out to the crowd and addressed everyone, telling us all that anything goes in his photo ops except for kissing because he got super sick his first Con when he made that mistake.  BFF and I could not think of what we wanted to do…we were at a loss.  Do we do some silly pose?  Or do we just make a Barrowman sandwich and get as close to our love as we could?  We got nervous as we got closer and BFF grabbed my hand for support.  Would we be able to remember how to speak English this time?  We gripped our hands tighter as it became our turn, hoping that words would come out and I also hoped I would be able to not vomit as we got so close to him.  JB turned to us and said “What do you two lovely ladies want from me?”  BFF, surprisingly, remembered how to speak English and immediately enthusiastically blurted out “We want a Barrowman sandwich!!”  Totally out of character for BFF who hates to talk to strangers, especially a celebrity we have been stalking online and off at Con (and our hotel to be honest…BFF wanted to run screaming Barrowman’s name through the resort to see if he would come out).  I think her love for Barrowman had overtaken her shyness at this point and her face immediately broke out in a big grin when he replied “Well then…get right in here and hold on tight!”  We scrambled over and BFF wasted no time in wrapping her arms as tightly as she could around him.  I still had not remembered how to speak English but went to put my arm around the other side, when he grabbed my hand and put it smack on his tight little butt and pulled me in tight.  Barrowman sandwich complete!  Would you like fries with that Barrowman sandwich?  Why yes…yes I would!!  The result?  This:

The love shines here in our Barrowman sandwich.  Where are my fries?
The love shines here in our Barrowman sandwich. Where are my fries?

It was a brief shiny blissful moment.  And when it was over, squees were uttered and dances of joy were had as we left.  Best. Sandwich. Ever.  And I had also magically regained my ability to once again speak the English language.  Funny how that happens.  So fellow geeks…if ever you get the chance to get to a Con and your favorite celebrity is there…I encourage you to do the photo-op.  So worth it.  Oh and Barrowman…please ignore the girls next year running through the resort screaming your name like an elaborate game of hide and seek (well wouldn’t THAT be fun?)…we only stalk you and Wheaton we swear.  So feel honored you have achieved Fat Girl adoration stage that leads to stalking (and hopefully not jail time).  Our ultimate photo-op would be Barrowman and Wheaton together…sigh…a geeky Fat Girl can dream.

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I did stalk John Barrowman at the Phoenix Comicon and think about an elaborate game of hide and seek with him at our resort, but I didn’t die.  I am geeky Fat Girl who had a Barrowman sandwich and finally regained my ability to speak English (although not in his presence) Running.  The experiment continues…