Trick Or Treat 2 Year Old Style


Halloween is one of my favorite holidays hands down.  I love everything about it including dressing up in a fun costume and seeing all the kids all dressed up. The only thing I don’t like is the actual handing out of candy.  It is too much interaction for me.  I am glad I don’t hand out candy at my house because this requires a lot of people interaction and we all know how I don’t like to do much of that.  Strangers knocking on my door?  Nope.  The other reason I do not normally hand out candy at my house because I usually go over to BFF’s Momma’s house and help out over there.  They live in a neighborhood that normally gets over 250 trick or treaters at the their door.  It is crazy.  They keep count every year so they know how much candy to buy because there are so many.  BFF’s Momma also has a family dinner that I get to enjoy and see all the family.  For those of you who don’t know, BFF and I have been friends for over 25 years so her family is basically my other family.  Her nieces and nephews call me “Aunty 2” and I love it.  So, Halloween night I went over to The Momma’s house to hang with the family and get to see all the babies dressed up.  It was there that I got to witness the 2-year-old experience what she considered trick or treating for the first time.

First off, you have to understand that BFF’s parentals go all out on Halloween with the decorating.  Their house is so awesome complete with a graveyard and they even decorate the porch that the kids have to walk into to get to the front door.  It’s so creepy some kids wont even come in.  But their house is decorated so amazingly that kids from all over the neighborhood come to trick or treat there. I am not joking when I watched vans full of kids being driven up to the house and unloading kids to come to the house. At one point, we had a line of 35 kids to come in the house, all from 3 vans. Whatever happened to just trolling the neighborhoods like I used to do as a kid?  Do kids not do this anymore for hours?  There are so many places to trick or treat anymore that I feel like kids don’t go house to house as much, except to BFF’s parental’s house. I mean I would have trick or treated at their house and I wasn’t even too keen on the idea when I was a child.

However, somehow I got stuck handing out candy since I was next to the door after dinner. My niece had brought over the babies and her 2-year-old was busy watching me do this.  When BFF’s brother came in, Baby B ran over to the door.  She tried to lift the bowl of candy, discovered it was too heavy, and placed it on the floor before handing him a piece saying “Trick of Treat”.  It was so cute.  Pretty soon, there was another knock at the door and I heard Baby B get super excited and say “Trick or treaters?” so I turned and told her to come help me.  She ran over, making little sounds of excitement and opened the door.  I then instructed her to give each kid a candy and she did.  The kids were all very polite and patient as she put candy in their buckets and said thank you to her.  Baby B proceeded to say “You’re Weeecome” to each one and then shut the door.  I thought maybe that would be the extent to her helping, but nope.  Every time someone knocked on the door, she ran over to help, making the same sounds of excitement.  Sometimes, she would ask the kids “You want chocolate?” or “You want candy corn?” in her little voice as she gave out candy but it was always with great joy that she helped.  She would actually stand at the door, looking out, to see if any more were coming so she could hand out candy.  The trick or treaters loved that a little Disney princess was helping to hand out candy and were so patient, even when there were a lot of them.  It really was the cutest thing ever.

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The cutest candy helper ever checking to see if more trick or treaters were coming

At one point, her parents discussed leaving to go trick or treat at the mall, but Baby B was having so much fun handing out candy, that they decided to stay.  She thought this was what trick or treating is all about.  Her pure excitement every time she heard someone at the door was contagious and I, the one who does not like to people, loved handing out candy this year.  Does that mean I will do it at my house next year?  Nope.  But with Baby B at BFF’s parentals?  Yep.

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I did discover a new love of handing out candy for trick or treating as I saw it through the eyes of a 2-year-old but I didn’t die.  I am Fat Girl who didn’t mind peopling for the sake of Baby B Running.  The experiment continues…

Mommas Don’t Let Your Children Grow Up to be Assholes


I know I have discussed before about how sometimes BFF and I run into parents at DL that are…well not so nice? Ok Ok…really they are assholes, plain and simple. It seems no matter where you go or how pleasant you are, you always seem to run into some sort of asshole that feels the world owes them a favor. This time, however, it was parents who were also doing a smash bang up job of also teaching their children to be assholes. I mean , really, do you want to teach them this type of behavior? I vote no. So, Mommas, don’t let your children grow up to be assholes.

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The Griswolds ready to party! Halloween party that is….

This all happened the night of the Halloween party while we were at DL.  If you have never done a Halloween party at DL, then you should…at least once.  They are quite epic I tell you.  Special fireworks, parades, trick or treating and villians….ah yes the villians.  I might add that I did see my beloved Maleficent again this year but I did not crush any small children to get to her (ok maybe one or two but they were in my way!)  I was unable to get up close and personal with her again this year…maybe they remembered me being a complete spaz last time and saw me coming. They quickly called for her carriage and she left but before she left, BFF and I did get this epic selfie:

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Most epic selfie ever.

We knew we wanted to watch the parade for 2 reasons: it was the new Paint the Night parade and the kiddos we were with had never watched one. So knowing this and also being aware that you need to sit for a parade well in advance if you want a good seat, about an hour ahead, 3 of us decided to stake out seats on Main Street right on a curb. To be honest, the 3 of us that chose to sit were worn out at this point and actually looked forward to the break. We practically collapsed onto the curb and I didn’t even care if I sat lady like in my Wonder Woman dress at that point. BFFE took the kids trick or treating in the park (which is an amazing experience in itself) while we three sat and zoned out like zombies and people watched for awhile. I don’t even think we said anything to each other for quite awhile. A cast member came up and told us we did not have to sit so early on Halloween party nights, but I was pretty happy just sitting at that point so we all sat. Plus, we knew what would happen if we left those seats. They would be gone. I loved just sitting and watching all the cool costumes and BFF and I proceeded to enjoy some root beer floats as well….as you can see by this lovely snapchat (add me already!):

A little while later, it started to fill up with other families waiting to see the parade as well. We had put jackets and such to save spots for the three that were out trick or treating, but that did not stop some parent from shoving her child right into those spots. I turned around and politely told her we were saving those spots she gave me a death stare, mumbled something under her breath and loudly told her child he needed to move since he was “not allowed” to sit there. She literally then placed him and several of his friends directly behind us. Luckily, BFFE and the kiddos came back soon after and sat down, making the kids move back a bit. As it got closer, I looked down and saw that BFFE’s son was squatting next to the curb instead of sitting on it. Why? Because these kids had literally crowded him out until he could not sit there anymore. When BFFE told him to scoot back and she asked the kids to move, the one kid told us his Mom told him to scoot up till he could see. BFFE kindly and calmly asked him to move and then told the Mom her child was sitting there. The Mom rolled her eyes and muttered under her breath…again. Pretty sure we were looking at another showdown as these kids were just as much assholes as their parents. I was prepared to hold shoes, earrings and stand behind people saying “Yeah! What she said”…since we all know I am good at that in a fight. The kids kept pushing on us, blowing bubbles on us, and stepping on our costumes. These might have been attempts to get us to move but it did not work. The parent kept making rude comments about how we took up the seating for kids but we ignored them. Get to the parade early assholes. There are other ways to not be an asshole, like better planning on your part. But thanks for teaching your kids how to be assholes.  That is always so appreciated by those around them.  Luckily, the parade started and in the excitement, all was forgotten, except for when I got hit in the head repeatedly by a little Tinkerbell who was super excited she was seeing Belle. I get it kid….I get that excited too when I see them.

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Cutest Superheroes around!!

Oh yeah….I didn’t die today. I did, however, almost have a showdown at another parade but I didn’t die. I am Fat Girl asking you please not teach your children to be assholes Running. The experiment continues….

Bibbidi….Bobbidi….BAM!


I love hanging out with my work peeps..I have said before that they are like my other family and it really is true. We actually organize events every couple of months to all hang out together and have fun outside of work.  BFF’s unit does this as well and her activities with her unit always involve some sort of outdoors activity like hiking or skiing or some sort.  Ours….well let’s just say they usually involve some sort of alcohol adult activity.  It should say something about my work peeps.  We just like to have a good time!  Occasionally, we will have a family event and recently we all decided to meet up to see the new live action Cinderella movie.  Now you know I was all about seeing this since it is a Disney movie so BFF were totally down.  Remember how I talked about our super close friend that just got married and has the Twins?  We shall now call her Work Bestie or WB for short since she really isn’t a bride to be anymore but is an old married woman about to pop with her next baby girl.  Well, WB, her sister, the Twins, BFF and I all met up for dinner before the movie and then went together to meet up with everyone.  We literally took up two movie theater rows with everyone that ended up coming, which a lot of fun.

WB and the twins sat on one side of BFF and I sat on the other next to one of the boys I work with and his new wife.  When the previews started, Twin A got up and asked if she could sit on my lap and snuggle…who am I to say no to that? So there we are, all sitting together getting ready to enjoy a movie.  Watching a movie with 9 year olds can be quite the adventure.  My god daughters are sometimes the hardest to watch a movie with because Big Red always wants to know what is gonna happen and Little Red can talk the whole way through it.  Having not been with the Twins to the movies before, I was unsure what to expect.  I am sure we all know the story of Cinderella and if you don’t….well then we most certainly cannot be friends.  Apparently, this story line must have not have registered with the girls or they really never aid attention to all the death and dying that happen.  When the Mom says to Ella that she “must leave her”, Twin B turned to BF and asked what that meant.  BFF, being the blunt person she is said to her “It means she is gonna die now”.  Twin B then exclaimed “Oh man!  This sucks!”  Being quite the girly girl that she is, however, Twin B loved the movie.  I think she would like to be the Princess herself and move into the Castle.

Twin A, still snuggled up on my lap, had quite a different reaction to the movie. You see, Twin B is a little bit different from her sister.  She is more the tomboy of the 2, playing sports and preferring to wear pants over dresses.  Twin B is the dancer and all things girl twin.  When all the parents die, Twin A turned to me and said “Why is there so much DRAMA in this movie?  Why is everyone dying?  This is horrible for children!”  in her most dramatic voice she could possibly muster.  Of course, this sends me, BFF and the Murse (that is male nurse for all you non-nursy peeps out there) sitting next to me into giggling fits that are hard to control.  But wait….it just gets better.  When the clock strikes midnight, I hear her say “Well…she’s toast.”  She closed her eyes to avoid seeing kissing and asked why there has to be kissing.  But the best comment was at the magical part of the movie.

You all know the part where the Fairy Godmother comes and turns Cinderella into this beautiful Princess, complete with the jaw dropping gown and glass slippers?  Remember what she says?  The oh so famous phrase of Bibbidi…Bobbidi…BOO is uttered and magic occurs.  We all know this song (which was decidedly lacking in this movie) and I believe I have uttered it when granting wishes myself to my own God daughters.  But really…Twin A took the cake with this one that had me and BFF laughing so hard we both almost peed our pants.  So, here is the Fairy Godmother, creating magic and chaos all in a few flicks of her wand and the gorgeous dress and glass slippers appear.  She waves her wand and utters her famous words.   Twin A, however,  put her own spin on this phrase when Cinderella becomes all decked out and looked at me and said “Bibbidi…Bobbidi…BAM!” complete with a hand gesture to emphasize the word BAM. No truer words were said.  Pretty sure Disney should take the advice of a 9-year-old and change the lyrics of this classic.  I mean, for reals.  I swear we could not stop laughing.  Also, can I put in my order for a Fairy Godmother who would grant me an endless supply of Skittles, pie and waffles?  What more does a girl need?  A little BAM!…and here is your waffle that you can now use as a whipped cream convenance device.  Because any time is a good time for waffles.  Or pie.  A wave of the wand and BAM! Endless supply of pie.  MMMMMMM…pie.  Thanks Twin A for making going to the movies so much fun.  You are never too young to be sarcastic.

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I did discover the joy of going to the movies with a sarcastic 9-year-old, but I didn’t die.  I am Fat Girl wishing for a Fairy Godmother to give me a Bibbidi…Bobbidi..BAM! and a waffle Running.  The experiment continues…

A Guide to Dealing With Children in Lines: BFF Style


This weekend was Superbowl weekend, which normally BFF and I spend in Disneyland due to nobody being there. This year, however, we postponed our trip due to a co-worker we adore getting married.  We are planning on going at the end of the month instead…measles outbreak be damned.  In fact, we are glad we are going because of the measles outbreak…it means there will be fewer children to deal with in lines than usual.  Plus, we are both vaccinated (Science!) so we have nothing to fear.  As BFF pointed out, fewer children means less annoying events in line which we always run into for some reason…like a child licking the chain repeatedly while we were in line for Space Mountain. On our last trip, the most annoying of annoying events happened while in line and BFF dealt with it in the best way possible.

Let me set this up for you:  we were in line for the coveted Cars ride and we had fast passes for it.  Which meant we wouldn’t have to wait the 90 minutes the regular people in line had to wait.  It also meant that we had a separate line with other fast pass holders and got to officially “cut” in line.  This really is the only way to ride this highly popular ride as teh line is always long.  We were behind a family whose child was not paying attention to the line moving and several times had to be told by his parents to get up with the family.  I hate this aspect of waiting in line the most….people who do not pay attention to the line moving and end up with a huge gap for minutes to eternity until they acted shocked the line moved and finally move up, much to the annoyance of the rest of us behind them.  I really have no patience with these people…especially children who are too busy doing something they shouldn’t (like licking the chain) be instead of moving up in line.  The Cars ride has metal railings on either side of the line (looks like radiator pipes for effect) and for some reason, this little Mouseketeer thought it would be a fine idea to place one foot on either side of the line on these railings to walk.  Thereby, moving the line slowly and leaving a gap a whole car from the ride could fit into the fast pass line.  ANNOYING.

BFF and I were quietly and carefully plotting this child’s “accident” in line when BFF got a call from her Momma so she answered it. Note:  she did NOT in any way hold up the line while on the phone with her Momma!  She was able to manage answering the phone, talking and moving up in line all at the same time.  Amazing.  Not once was she annoying to anyone behind her because she understands proper line etiquette.  The child in front of us, however, was still spread eagle attempting to walk on the railings despite repeatedly being told by Cast Members and his parents to stop doing it.  BFF, still on the phone, looks and sees the now school bus sized gap between him and his family and decides she has had enough.  She looks at me, glances at the kid still straddling the line like Stretch Armstrong, and decides to deal with the annoyance quickly and quietly.  By kicking him square in the booty.  Yup.  Kicks him in the butt.  No apologies.  Square in the tushie she planted her foot and caused him to fall down and run to his parents, all the while looking at both of us.  I turn to her and mouth “Did you just kick him?”  to which she replied by looking innocent and we both hear the people laughing behind us because I don’t think the y realized we didn’t know the Annoying One.  I am trying not to laugh now and BFF is still on the phone with her Momma looking all innocent like nothing happened, hoping we don’t get called out by this kiddo to his parents or to a Cast Member.  The Annoying One hides behind his mother and looks at us, but not once does he rat us out.  I am pretty sure we might have seen Disney Cast Members high-five over it, but it might have been over something else (although I am sure it was BFF kicking this kid cuz I know I would have).  But guess what?  Suddenly we were almost to the front of the line and fast because this kid kept moving.  What a concept.

I am sure BFF will say it was an “uncontrolled leg spasm” and she didn’t kick him right where the sun doesn’t shine, but I can assure you that she did…and that he deserved it.  Maybe it taught him the lesson of appropriate line etiquette but I doubt it…he was probably the same small child a few years ago that licked the chain repeatedly at Space Mountain.  Ew.  I don’t think I would recommend this way of dealing with gap leavers, because I don’t know of anyone besides BFF who could get away with it, but it was awesome.  Highly awesome.  Just watch your kids in line around BFF.  And I am sure those Cast Members really were high-fiving over her swift uncontrollable leg spasm right to the tushie.  For reals.

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I did learn a great new way to deal with annoying children in line from BFF but didn’t die.  I am Fat Girl whose BFF sometimes has uncontrollable leg spasms to children’s tushies when they are being annoying in line Running.  The experiment continues….