Games NOT to Play With Your Family

Last month I enjoyed the biannual family reunion in Iowa and had a great time with those crazy people, despite the hot and humid weather.  We had an all day event where we loaded down tables full of food, enjoyed each other’s company, went for walks, played with the kiddos and eventually a group of us played a game together.  This game left us sore from laughing, shocked at some of our relatives and needing some therapy.  What game did we play?  Cards Against Humanity of course.  Not every family should play this game together, but boy am I glad we did….I learned so much about my cousins and really I think I might need some therapy after playing it with them.

Now I must tell you something about my family,  We are not only loud and obnoxious, but we also hold nothing back and there aren’t too many secrets we keep from each other.  I am sure there are a few but we pretty much acknowledge everyone and love them for who they are so really there is no need to have them.  That being said, if your family is not as open as mine, then you really shouldn’t play Cards Against Humanity with them.  One of the older kids had purchased the game ad brought it to the reunion hoping we would play it,  My Seester, BIL and I were all game so we sat down and proceeded to play.  It started out with all of us being hesitant but took no time at all to develop into a full force laugh a minute game.

My crazy cousins.  Somethign tells me we should play this more often
My crazy cousins. Something tells me we should play this more often

We all know my past experiences with this game have brought some rather hilarious results but some of the ones my cousins threw down…what in the world are they eating in Iowa?  Especially some of the teenagers!  At some points, we were laughing so hard that we could not even read the cards.  Seester had one of the best rounds when she pulled the card “During his midlife crisis, my Dad got really into ____”.  Mind you, our Daddy is all of the cousin’s Uncle so to see the responses put Seester into a fit of laughing so hard, that she needed her inhaler.  Also, we might need some serious counseling thinking of our Daddy doing some of these….ew.  Who thinks of these things anyways and what exactly are Backwards Knees?

Ummmmm....what?  I need some therapy.  I cannot look at my Daddy the same way ever again
Ummmmm….what? I need some therapy. I cannot look at my Daddy the same way ever again

But the best round was one that we will never stop laughing at…like ever.  My cousin (hmmmm…they all are so let’s call him Big D since he is one of the tallest of the boys) Big D pulls his card, shakes his head and says “What killed my boner?”  We all immediately burst into laughter and a few smart ass remarks were made as people looked at their cards and decided what to play.  As we all turned over our cards, Big D’s daughter #2 turns to him and matter of fact says “So Dad.  What did kill your boner?” Big D immediately burst into laughter and I almost peed my pants.  Shocked looks went all around as we all doubled over with laughter that she actually asked her dad that question.  Things you never thought you would hear your teenage daughter ask you, huh Big D?  Yup.  That really did happen.  Also the term “Reverse Cowgirl” will now forever be tied to one of those crazy cousins….I swear this is not a game for those who are easily offended.  Good thing none of us ever are.

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I almost died from laughter as I played one of the most inappropriate games with a group of the most inappropriate group of people around who I am proud to say are my family.  I am Fat Girl who wonders if there are games you should not play with your family Running.  The experiment continues…

Game Night With The Fat Girl

I love a good board game.  I feel it is one of the best bonding experiences you can have with people.  We played a lot of board games as children…my parents usually had a game night once a week.  Therefore, when birthdays come around in my family, game night is usually the activity of choice for most of us.  This was the case with Pocket GF’s birthday, where we played Geek Battle and just recently with BFF’s birthday where we were introduced to the wonderous game of Cards Against Humanity.  Holy cow….if you have not played this game, then you must.  It is hysterical and also NOT a family game.  This one is for sure for adults only.

So, the basic premise of the game is you are handed answer cards with the most random, absurd and sometimes bordering on racist answers.  A question is played and you pick an answer that you think is the best one (and usually highly inappropriate) and see if your answer is picked.  I am not kidding you in saying that these answers are so random and inappropriate that I have never laughed so hard in my life playing a game.  I am pretty sure we all pulled muscles laughing.  I also loved that half the time, we would play a card and apologize because we knew it was inappropriate or bordering on racist.  Let me give you some examples that might make you cringe, shake your head or laugh out loud.  It’s ok if you do cuz I know we did.  Lots.

The question card was “What is that smell?”  I looked over my answers and had several I could have used.  “Old people”…that is a good one.  Hmmmm….what else do I have.  “sperm whales”…nope that won’t work.  OH!  There it is…the card I cringed a little at playing but started giggling anyways.  I placed it on the table and let Bubby pick it up to read.  He immediately started looking at the cards and shaking his head while laughing.  He almost could not read mine.  Carefully trying not to laugh, he said “What is that smell?  Auschwitz.”  Clear winner for most inappropriate answer.  The next best inappropriate answer was “pixellated bukkake”  Who the hell comes up with these answers?  Do I even want to know when you would answer a question with “Two midgets shitting in a bucket?” or “A Super Soaker filled with cat pee”?  But honestly the winner of the internets that night was BFF when we got the following question:  “Lifetime presents: _______.  The story of ____________.”  Her answer?  “Lifetime presents:  Dying.  The story of Grandma.”  Yup.  That happened.

Other question and answers included:  “What would you bring back in time to prove you were a powerful wizard?  A: Tom Cruise”  “If you were President, what department would you create?  A: Mother fucking wizardry.”  “They said it couldn’t be done.  __________ in _________.  A: A thousand points of light in a sperm whale.”  “Miley Cyrus stars in a Disney Channel Movie where Hannah Montana discovers _____ for the first time.  A:  Pixellated bukkake”  Oh and we had to explain pixellated bukkake to BFF.  For reals.  How the hell do you explain that?   In telling this story to a group of our friends at a party yesterday, one of them even asked Siri what it was…go ahead.  Try it.  You won’t forget that term.  Like ever.  I am pretty sure we might all be going to Hell based on those answers and yet we laughed every single time.  Good times.  We also decided that the card that will ALWAYS win is “Sex with Patrick Stewart”.  Always. Because sex with Patrick Stewart is why.

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I did discover how much laughter can be had in one game and that BFF did not know what pixellated bukkake was but I didn’t die.  I am Fat Girl playing highly inappropriate cards in a game without shame Running.  The experiment continues…