Boss Bean’s Angels


Until recently, I had never met my publisher.  You see, Inknbeans is located in California and it is not like I have a private jet at my disposal to jet around meeting people.  I mean if anyone wants to loan me their private jet, I would be glad to take advantage of it.  Think of all the cool places I could go.  Oh who am I kidding?  You know I would just use it to fly to DL.  Speaking of…at my birthday trip to the House of Mouse, I was fortunate enough to finally meet the head of Inknbeans, who we all lovingly call Boss Bean.  I was super excited when she suggested we meet up and that she would meet us for lunch.  Plans were made and we even discussed what we were wearing…I felt like I was a spy meeting with my contact in a busy restaurant for my next assignment.  Although, I must admit, I loved that Boss Bean said she was going to be wearing a Mickey Mouse top hat with a sprig of holly….jolly good sport that Boss Bean.

Now don’t get me wrong,  I had skyped with Boss Bean, but her image was never on the Skype calls and no live video feed, so really I had no idea what she looked like. It really was like a secret agent meeting in a restaurant.  BFF and I decided that since I had never met her, that maybe she was really like Charlie on Charlie’s Angels.  We wondered if a speaker box would greet us at Tortilla Joe’s and Boss Bean’s voice would materialize saying “Good Afternoon Angels” and we would be given our secret mission to be completed in DL…a mission sure to include a Dole Whip or two.  I mean, really…what secret mission wouldn’t include Dole Whip?  We also wondered…would the speaker box have the Mickey Top Hat on it all jaunty like?  What would her secret mission be?  Run through DL throwing pie at people and shouting Viva #FatGirlRevolution?  Hold up copies of my book on the rides that take photos so everyone can see it?  Needless to say, we eagerly waited in anticipation of our meeting.

The day of our meeting with Boss Bean, we walked into Tortilla Joes and I have to admit…I was slightly nervous. I was not sure what to expect out of the meeting.  Would she tell me she was disappointed in me?  Would they let me go?  Would I get a slap on the wrist for my lack of commas?  BFF was afraid she would make a fool out of us and I would have to banish her to the bathroom to eat guacamole in a stall.  Gross.  We were unsure as to who to look for besides the speaker because honestly, I didn’t think she would really wear the Mickey top hat.  When we didn’t see anyone in the lobby of the restaurant, we sat down to wait to see who else might be looking for someone.  Luckily, the hostess came back and said she thought our Boss Bean was already in there and led us to a table.  There sat, not a speaker box, but a wonderful woman who indeed had a Mickey top hat complete with a sprig of holly on it!!  We half expected her to still say “Hello Angels” but were so excited at the prospect of meeting her that we might have talked at lightening speed for the two hours we sat there eating.  Good thing Boss Bean can keep up with us and laugh with us (or at us sometimes).  BFF jokingly told her about how we thought she was like the elusive Charlie and she giggled, telling us the reason there were no pictures of her on the website or on Skype because she is NOT the face of Inknbeans…the authors are the face of Inknbeans.  Yup…pretty sure I made the right decision on publishing houses.  I cannot say enough how wonderful Boss Bean is and how much she means to me.  She took a chance on a Fat Girl and shined me up like a new penny I tell ya.  And she has a great sense of humor.  It is not everyone that can keep up with BFF and I word for word, but she can.

Lots of guacamole and food later, none of which BFF had to eat in the bathroom stall since she behaved herself, we reluctantly said good-bye to the Boss Bean.  We would have loved to have taken her into DL and played, but she had to do things like work and promote books and such things of that nature.  Much to my relief, she did not tell me I sucked or that they did not want to publish me anymore.  BFF and her already named book 3 so I guess I had better get blogging more!!  I told you I had a lot to catch you up on…We all parted ways, with Boss Bean walking away in the sunshine, jaunty Mickey top hat on her head, just like Charlie was always portrayed walking down the beach. Except we weren’t on a beach and she isn’t Charlie but you get the point.  It was a great meeting…one I cannot wait to repeat because she is not only my publisher, but also a friend.  Love Boss Bean!!

And she might have given me a special mission….one I cannot tell you or I would have to kill you but one I am working on now.  It might have involved throwing pie at random people in DL but we won’t discuss that either.  You shall just have to stay tuned to see what comes of this special mission she handed to me…one of her Angels.

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I did, however, meet up with my publisher in person and have a wonderful meeting complete with guacamole, laughter and a jaunty Mickey top hat complete with a sprig of holly.  I am Fat Girl who is also a Boss Bean Angel with a a secret mission Running.  The experiment continues…

Discovering BFF and I Can Feed a Small Nation and Lemon Flavored Beverages


I had this little thing happen in my life recently.  You might have heard. A certain book came out…The Revenge of the Sofa and if you have not gotten your copy yet, I want to know why not!  I mean, don’t you like to laugh, eat pie, read about BFF and I getting into all sorts of situations, cry, and laugh through your tears?  There really is no reason.  So go on…do it….grab a copy and some pie and read.  I decided to have a book release party like I did for the first book so that family, friends and co-workers could grab their copies, I could write something witty inside and sign my Jane Hancock on it.  Plus, any excuse to eat cake is a good excuse.  I mean, really, do you need another reason?  I think not.  So, BFF and I went to the party store and got everything pink you could find.  It might have looked like a cotton candy machine barfed in there but hey…I like pink.  So cotton candy barf pink it was.

A local photographer, Anna LaBenz offered for me to use her studio for the party and I was excited.  She has this amazing space with lots of room to host such a gathering.  She even has a fun chalkboard wall where people could write messages…we might have had a little too much fun with that one.  Appropriate or not, we had great messages left by those who love The Fat Girl.   Not only did we have cake, but we had cookies, Skittles, ice tea and what was supposed to be lemonade but BFF and I quickly determined was yellow flavored drink.  That did not taste like lemonade at all.  I am not sure what it tasted like…it didn’t taste bad, but I for sure would not call it lemonade.  We might have overestimated the need for so many things to nosh on but that is hey…an Irish and a Mexican planned this little soire and we always overestimate food.  We are afraid there will not be enough bit really we had enough to feed some small country in Africa. BFF and I could have single-handedly ended hunger in that country…ok that might be a tad over exaggerated, but you get the picture.  Lots of sweets to give you Diabeetus.  Because nothing says you love my books like Diabeetus.

The party was a ton of fun and I loved seeing everyone coming to get their copies of The Revenge of the Sofa.  I also had lots of belly laughs over the messages left to me on the wall.  It was a great group of people coming out to support me and I loved every minute.  I even loved that a certain little 2-year-old decided she would sample all the flavors of cookies by taking a small two-year old bite out of each one and then putting them back on the tray.  Her Momma tried to find them all but might have missed a couple which we laughed about as we were cleaning up.  So take a gander at the fun you missed:

Oh this cake....so delish.  Even the fondant...how is that even possible?
Oh this cake….so delish. Even the fondant…how is that even possible?
I like my couch...a lot
I like my couch…a lot but not the lemon flavored drink…
Mmmmmm...couch
Mmmmmm…couch
BFF kicks off the messages...
BFF kicks off the messages…
...with this
…with this

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10850230_701848976588686_3337238025388125297_n

Pocket GF....what is dis?
Pocket GF….what is dis?

So, if you have not yet gotten in on the #FatGirlRevolution and gotten your book yet, Then here are the links for ya to do so.  Also leaving a review on whatever various site you want would be awesome!!  So get your copy of Revenge of the Sofa on Amazon or Barnes and Noble and get reading…and laughing.

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I did however realize that when BFF and I plan a smallish hootnanny, it turns into feeding a small nation, but I didn’t die.  I am Fat Girl who does not like the lemon flavored beverage about as much as I don’t like the new green Skittles Running.  The experiment continues…

Wait…You Want Me to Speak? Out Loud? In Public? Gulp


Sorry about the lack of writing lately…life took off in the fast lane and I am just now catching up, which means I have A LOT to share with all of you!  So be on the look out for a few blogs in the coming weeks instead of just one a week.  First off, for you Nook readers, the book finally got posted as a nook book so get yours now here.  That should satisfy you nookies who have been waiting anxiously for the laughter.  Speaking of the book, I had a book signing in Mesa at the beginning of the month.  One of the chapters of the organization that owns my alma mater, Cottey College, the PEO Sisterhood had an event that they invited me to and I went to sell/sign copies of my new book.

BFF and I went and had a nice time shopping the day before the event and had dinner with BFFE and her Hubby.  At dinner, I see the email notification on my phone and I quickly look and it is from the gal organizing the event, so I read it.  And almost choked on my steak.  Wait…they want me to do what?  Speak? Out loud?  In public?  No….I read it again. and yes that is what it said.  I must have gone pale because BFFE asked me what was wrong with me.  I squeaked out “They want me to speak tomorrow.” BFF looked at me incredulously and clarified what I had said “They want you to speak? Out loud?”  There is one thing that I hate…public speaking.  I am one of those people who get so nervous speaking and usually turn bright red the entire time.  Like the kind of red that makes SOTL Man come over and ask if I am ok red.  BFF knows how much I don’t like to speak to people…she has to encourage me to talk at my signings sometimes because the introvert in me takes over and I cannot find the words to speak to people.  Seriously.  Believe it or not, I really am an introvert and super shy around groups of people.  The thought of having to get up and talk to strangers about myself and my books made me want to back out of the event right then and there.  Giving the Maid of Honor speech at my sister’s wedding about did me in and that was in front of mostly family!  What the heck was I gonna say?  Should I read out loud and not talk at all?  Wait…that still involves talking at some basic level.  I had no idea what I was gonna say or how I was gonna be able to fill 15 whole minutes with my babbling and stammering.  Of course, it might take me the full 15 minutes to just remember my own name and squeak it out.  BFF told me she was glad I did not have any more time to think about this because I would have worried even more about it.  She told me just to get up and talk about myself off the cuff and see what happened.  Of course that could be disastrous…

I decided to follow BFF’s advice and to just go with whatever came out of my mouth and really hoped I didn’t just say fuck over and over.  I mean the crowd couldn’t be that big, right?  We get to the event and all the ladies are SUPER nice and welcoming…there is even a sign that says author behind my name.  How awesome is that?  We got set up, ran to the potty to adjust the spanx and the gal who was in charge gave me an itinerary which showed me speaking first.  Wait…first?  So now, not only do I have to speak but I have to speak first?  BFF pointed out at least I would get it over with and then could concentrate on selling books and signing them.  Good point.  Ok I can do this.  My Bubby and Pocket GF show up and I tell them I have to speak (Bubby totally sympathizes with me) but at least I know I can look at him if I get super nervous.  More and more people arrive.  I notice how many chairs are set up…are they expecting this many people?  People start sitting and the seats get fuller and fuller.  Now I am getting nervous.  The PEO gals get up and start talking to people with a MIC…I have to use a MIC?  Ok panic is starting to set in and I feel the nervous sweats starting.  Yikes,  This could end up with me in a puddle of my own sweat and possibly pee standing in front of a group of people.  Would that sell books?  The PEO gal then says something about questions and answers. I am sorry…did I hear you right?  Now I have to answer questions from the audience.  The puddle might include vomit soon.  It might be like that scene in Pitch Perfect where she is singing and then vomits.  Yeah….that might be me showering the front three rows with my lunch.  Awesome.

I am finally announced after what seems like an eternity and I walk up to the front of the room…now about 60 people full.  Holy cow.  I can feel the blush starting already.  I start speaking and thank goodness no vomit comes out.  A puddle of sweat is forming in my bra, but luckily not running down my legs yet.  I see my Momma, my Bestie, her Momma and my Reds walk in and the girls wave to me, making me smile.  My BFFE and her Hubby quickly fall in to the room and I feel relived to see so many faces I know already.  Then, to my surprise, my college roomie Susan Bennett…the one who is responsible for me getting published…walks in and sits.  Now, feeling more at ease, I continue speaking about my life, writing and my books.  I take questions and cannot believe it when I answer the question “What is the one advice you would give someone working out?” with “Wear the right underwear!”  The audience starts laughing immediately and I wanted to say right then and there “Fat Girl Running has left the building” and drop the mic on the floor and walk back to my table.  It would have been awesome!  But I instead, answer more questions, get a little teary discussing my friend Amy, and talk about how much Cancer sucks.  When I am done, even though I am shaking, I am glad to see lots of laughing and smiling and a huge line quickly forms at my table to buy books (ok yes some of them were my family and friends, but still…).  I did well, selling books, the redness from my face eventually disappeared and I enjoyed myself immensely.  I reconnected with my college roomie briefly and another Cottey grad from our class.  I also avoided vomiting all over the front rows or leaving a puddle of pee in the front of the room.  All in all, I must say it was a success.

Holy Hannah...do you see how big that crowd is?  Can you see me sweating?
Holy Hannah…do you see how big that crowd is? Can you see me sweating?
Red faced and all, but not vomiting
Look the front rows are not covered in vomit!
The wonderous Susan Bennett and I...why have you not checked out her books yet?  Ignore my beet red face
The wonderous Susan Bennett and I…why have you not checked out her books yet? Ignore my beet red face

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I almost ended up in a pure panic and puddle of sweat, pee and vomit over speaking in public but I didn’t die.  I am Fat Girl red-faced speaking out loud in public AUTHOR Running.  The experiment continues…

Want Some Instant Gratification?


Halloween was especially fun this year.  Not only is it my favorite holiday, but a book came out that I have been looking forward to…you may have heard of it.  It is called The Running Experiment:  The Revenge of the Sofa!  Woot Woot!  That’s right…my second book came out this weekend!!  Best last weekend in October ever!  The book went live on the internets and I was thrilled.  So get your copies today…look I will even make it easy for you and provide you with the links. Go get some instant gratification!

http://www.amazon.com/Running-Experiment-Revenge-Sofa-ebook/dp/B00P3CZDOS/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1415066600&sr=8-2&keywords=kristann+monaghan

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-running-experiment-kristann-monaghan/1120647207?ean=9780692317037

Go and get your copy today!  I promise you laughter…and yes a few tears but also lots of laughter.  You know you want to read some stuff that was written especially for the book and never published here at all!!  Also, if you are going to be in the Phoenix are and want a signed copy for yourself and a few extra copies for friends or family, then come on down to the Authors and Artists Event.  It will be held at 2719 S. Reyes in Mesa on November 9th from 3-5pm and I will be signing books and chatting with peeps!  Here is the facebook link:   https://www.facebook.com/AuthorsAndArtists  Check out this great event with 3 authors and lots of art being raffled off for the PEO organization, who own my beloved alma mater Cottey College.  I hope to see lots of fans there…and BFF will be there too so don’t b shy to ask us for a pic!  Bubby, Pocket GF, my Mom, Bestie and BFFE will also be there at some point so you can stalk all your favorite characters from my books!  Fun times!

Speaking of the newest book, Boss Bean once again surprised me and when the book went live, she asked me to check out the “look inside” feature on Amazon.  I did, thrilled I could read my dedication and acknowledgements and then…there it was…a foreword.  Wait…I didn’t write a foreword.  As I started to read, I realized this foreword was written by my Bubby and it is so beautiful that I started to cry.  And not nice pretty cry but ugly cry.  I realized that the love I have for my siblings is shared by them…never say an age difference can’t make you close.  We are proof that it can and it does.  Thank you Bubby…now I almost feel bad about throwing you down the laundry chute…almost.

So hurry…click on the links, buy your copies, bring them to me to sign…what ever you would like.  Stalk me at events.  I like it.  Some call it stalking, I call it love.  Plus, you know you want to read about Elvis, Disneyland, Comicon, and my battle with the Big C.  The one thing that is bittersweet is that the book is dedicated in part to my sweet friend Amy, who bravely lost her battle with breast cancer on Nov 1st so she never got to read my dedication or laugh at the antics in the book.  I am glad my first book brought her so much laughter through her battle.  Her gentle soul is missed greatly by us all that were lucky enough to be a part of her life journey.  God speed Amy…cancer fucking sucks.  So now go by the book for Amy…nice pity plug there, eh?

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I did discover this great book had been released this weekend that you are gonna love but I didn’t die.  I am Fat Girl with a SECOND book that just came out Running.  The experiment continues…

A BIG Reveal (Cue Dramatic Music Now)


Sometimes I feel as if my life is nothing but some wild ride in my imagination.  I cannot even fathom the situations BFF and I find ourselves in, let alone the fact that people actually read my blog, buy my books and that a publisher actually publishes me.  This month has been a whirlwind so far in that realm as I have been preparing for the release of the second installment of my Running Experiment. Yup…you read that right, the SECOND book is due to come out soon my sweet readers.  So open up your pocketbooks and get ready for some laughter.  There are even book exclusive essays for you to read…never published before.  I am so thrilled!!  Thrilled that Inknbeans took another chance on me…a simple Fat Girl who doesn’t mind putting her life out there for you all to read.  Viva la Fat Girl Revolution!!  What?  It’s a thing…I am gonna make it a thing anyways…let’s make it our new hashtag with everything. #FatGirlRevolution  I see it catching on..I wanna see it trend on Twitter because that would be awesome!

In all this prep work that my wonderful publisher, the Boss Bean, has put into my book, has been the discussion of a cover and a book title.  Immediately, BFF said that the title HAD to be The Revenge because all good sequels are the revenge or the return of something.  I laughed and quickly dismissed her title idea because I never thought Boss Bean would go for it.  But BFF does have a point.  I mean sequels are usually about revenge, right?  And since I didn’t go anywhere, the return really didn’t make sense.  Where would I be returning from?  The sofa?  The edge?  The brink?  Where are these places anyways?  I mean do you have to travel to them?  Can you say to your family “Yeah I decided to take my vacation this year to The Brink”?  Pretty sure everyone would flock there and it would no longer be this elusive thing and then we would have to start a travel club and all sorts of things.  Way too much work for me.  I prefer just to be The Revenge.  What do I have to be revengeful about?  Hmmmm….good question.  The sofa?  Cancer?  The Brink?  I have no idea but it is a good idea.  I like to create mayhem, remember, and a Fat Girl Revenge could involve many things but for sure throwing hummus. Why hummus?  Because chickpeas.  That is all.

This week, Boss Bean emailed me the new updated cover for my book. You may have seen what we originally thought was going to be my book entitled The Running Experiment:  A Weekly Walk Away From the Sofa Book 2  Further From the Sofa.  I had that cover posted for a while on Facebook (and if you don’t follow me there or on twitter you are surely missing out!)  but then she told me she had a surprise for me!  Unlike my weirdo BFF, I like surprises.  She sent it to me in my email when I was in the midst of a rousing game of Clue with my Redheaded god-daughters and BFF and there was lots of squealing and jumping up on down…and not on the Reds part.  Best. Cover. Ever.  Wanna see it?  Ok…cue dramatic reveal music here…

Have I said how much  I love my publisher Inknbeans?
Have I said how much I love my publisher Inknbeans?

There you have it!  The cover for the new book!  Squee!  BFF got her wish and the title is one I completely owe to her.  So thank BFF next time you see her for such an awesome book title.  Soon I shall have a preorder link as well to share with you lovelies.  Can you hardly stand it?  I cannot!  I am even dancing now…at work…to celebrate…to Shake It Off of course.  Fat Girl Dance of Joy!

On another slightly revealing note to celebrate, I am down 8.2 pounds on Nutrisystem!  Woot Woot!  Maybe I will be the Skinny Girl Running….nah….I will always have an inner Fat Girl for sure.  But, in one month I have lost 8.2 pounds!  This is the lowest I have been in a very long.  Thank you Nutrisystem for getting me to lose weight, feel full and still enjoy food like I like to enjoy it.  This is a great program and I cannot tout it enough to all you other Fat Girls out there.  They have counselors on-line you can even talk to about things like taking a vacay to The Brink to help you through it.  I mena we have all been there.  So come back from The Brink and Shake It Off….you can do it…I am!

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I did get a HUGE surprise in the form of The Revenge but I didn’t die.  I am Fat Girl coming back from The Brink to have The Revenge of the Sofa AND losing 8.2 pounds Running,  #FatGirlRevolution  The experiment continues…

I Have Found What I am Good at….Procrastinating


I have found a new talent.  One I am so good at I could gold medal in it if it were an Olympic sport.  The art of procrastinating.   I mean I truly excel at this.  Even now I am supposed to be writing and editing for the second book and here I am writing about how I have been procrastinating for the last two hours instead of actually working on my book.  Sigh.  I try…I really do.  Just so many things come up to distract me since I have the attention span of a gnat.  Let’s discuss the ways I find to procrastinate.  This diagram is perfect for me:

This is so how I do it
This is so how I do it

So let’s start at the very beginning. A very good place to start….wait….those are song lyrics.  See…attention span of a gnat. I have every intention of working.  I get out my laptop.  I put on a movie I have seen a million times over (Pitch Perfect is a favorite to write to lately.  Tonight I chose Say Anything because who doesn’t love Lloyd Dobbler?).  I open up the rough draft and suddenly the above diagram takes place.  First up is usually Binge Eating.  Why?  Because somehow, even if I have just eaten dinner, my stomach decides it needs to eat.  And not healthy food either…Nope.  Skittles are usually the first thing I reach for because I think I can eat just a few.  Who the eff am I kidding?  The whole bag will disappear while I watch the movie I put on because I didn’t need to watch it while the computer sits there staring evilly at me.  I might move on to popcorn or ice cream next as I still feel the need to eat.  If I am eating, then my fingers can’t type.  Sigh.  This also usually involves several trips to the kitchen where I will repeatedly open the pantry, fridge and freezer in hopes that the contents have changed in the last few minutes and I will find something new to snack on.  Why do I stand there and stare at the contents?  Are they going to magically change into an unlimited supply of original Skittles (the REAL ones not those gross green apple ones they call original)?  Probably not, but let me look one last time…

Discouraged Napping usually occurs after I have stuffed myself so full of junk that I am now sleepy.  Add into that the fact that I am usually dressed in comfy sweats and covered up with a soft blanket on my couch that eats my soul and it is warm…and pretty soon my eyes will start to threaten to close.  I mean, I don’t need to pay attention to the movie I am “not” watching, right?  And maybe an idea will come to me in a dream.  Or maybe a nap will revitalize me and I will feel like writing since I can’t seem to get motivated.  So if I let me eyes close for just a few minutes…it won’t hurt right?  Pretty soon I am nodding off and sliding down into a perfect napping position on the Evil Couch.  A two hour coma later and I decided it is time to move on to the next step in the pie chart.

Ok…self, I usually say.  Let’s do this.  You have a deadline to make.  Laptop open.  Rough draft in front of me.  Here we go.  Wait.  I haven’t checked out what had been happening on Facebook since I took a nap.  That won’t take long.  Here is where Random Internet Surfing starts.  It starts with a “quick” check of Facebook.  It will then move on to taking random quizzes for fun, messing around on Pintrest, answering email, playing a game or two, watching midget porn, looking up random facts about porn…you name it, the internet is way to get lost for several hours.  And this will inevitably lead back to eating….because that is what Fat Girls do.  Eventually, the internet or the midget porn or the movie I am “not” watching will give me the one thing I am looking for…Inspiration.

Inspiration will get me going  and then the actual work will start.  Like tonights blog for example…I got my inspiration from my own procrastination.  And here I am writing for you all and hopefully this will lead to finishing up some writing for the second book.  Of course lots of times I look at the clock and go “Holy poop…look at how late it is!”  Luckily, being a night owl does have its advantages.  I do some of my best work late at night.  Of course that usually leads to napping during the day…see how this is a vicious cycle of procrastination.  One I assure you I excel at like no other.  I mean, I have just spent the last two hours writing about procrastinating…gold medal worthy for real.  And why are there no Skittles in my house?  Maybe if I go check the pantry one last time…

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I did do my usual procrastinating when it comes to me having to do something like write my book and get it to my publisher on time but I didn’t die.  I m Fat Girl gonna go Random Internet Surfing now because I need to find more midget porn Running.  The experiment continues…

 

How I Got Disney Diabeetus And a Big Announcement


Goals are a good thing and meeting them is fun and exciting.  Sometimes goals can be challenging.  This last trip to DL, BFF had a goal that I felt was achievable and fun:  Eat something Mickey shaped everyday. But we couldn’t eat the same thing twice.  Totally acheiveable…I mean this is the House of Mouse.  And tons of stuff is Mickey shaped.  So away we went with our goal in mind.

First day was the easiest.  We usually go and eat at the Critter Breakfast at the Storyteller’s Cafe at our hotel….fantastic buffet that has french toast I swear is coated in crack.  But they also have another favorite of mine…Mickey shaped waffles!  These lovely little gems always make me smile.  How can you not smile as Mickey is smiling up at you from your breakfast plate?  It almost is a shame to eat them but they are so good.  BFF gets great pleasure out of biting his ears off first and then going in for the kill and eating his face.  It is quite funny.  She says it is better for Mickey that way because he can’t hear you about to eat his face.  Should I be scared of her?  So early in the day of day one we had already concluded the first step in our goal…Mickey shaped item eaten.  Blam!

Mickey shaped happiness for my tummy
Mickey shaped happiness for my tummy

Day two was a whirlwind and we ended up eating at Big Thunder Ranch BBQ for lunch with our soon to be married friends and Twin A.  This is another favorite place for us to eat as it is all you can eat bbq and damn good bbq at that…I mean hello.  First a buffet and now all you can eat?  I was in Fat Girl Disney heaven!  That was a no brainer.  So as we are sitting eating our fill on bbq chicken and ribs and all the sides, the cast member comes over and gives us the dessert menu.  Oh heck yeah we are eating some dessert.  I mean we are on vacation and it is family style so it wouldn’t be just two of us eating it.  We ordered this giant cookie bake with ice cream and sat their already stuffed to the gills waiting for it to come out.  Holy Giant Cookie Goofy!  Seriously this was a little bit of heaven with a fresh-baked giant pan full of chocolate chip cookie smothered in ice cream and sprinkles.  Bride-to-be tried to be civil by dishing some up on a plate when BFF just took her spoon and dug in…I mean hey…it’s family style right?  Groom-to-be followed suit and we all laughed and joined in….demolishing that dessert in minutes flat no matter how full we were beforehand.

The gloriousness that was the cookie dessert at Big Thunder Ranch...can you see what shape the sprinkles are?
The gloriousness that was the cookie dessert at Big Thunder Ranch…can you see what shape the sprinkles are?
Demolished in just minutes....
Demolished in just minutes….

It was after we were done, wanting to be rolled away from the table when BFF mentions she still has to complete day two of her self-imposed goal for the trip.  Good lord I sure as heck did not want to think about eating anything Mickey shaped at that point.  In fact, the thought of eating something else right then made me want to throw up a little in my mouth.  Good thing Bride-to be saved the day and pointed out that the sprinkles on the dessert were…of course….MICKEY SHAPED!  YESSSSS!  Goal for day two achieved.  Seriously.  We had already eaten so much that even Twin A commented to BFF in the bathroom that she hoped she wouldn’t get diarrhea from all the sweets we were eating.  BFF said she started laughing so hard she almost peed her pants waiting for a stall.  I commented that we probably wouldn’t get diarrhea but we might get diabetes.  Disney Diabeetus as we quickly called it.  Pretty sure that is what you get every time you are there.  Disney Diabeetus.

Day three we discussed what to try new to eat that was Mickey shaped that would of course contribute to our Disney Diabeetus.  There will still lots of options but none sounded appealing until we went to the bathroom in New Orleans Square.  I know, going to bathroom should not inspire you to eat but as we walked by the big restaurant that was located right by the train station, we spotted a little tiny walk up service bar called the Mint Julep Bar.  One I probably have walked by a million times, given that I know where all the potties are in the park.  What caught my eye as we walked by was a chalkboard sign advertising Mickey beignets.  Beignets are these deliecious donuts smothered in powdered sugar so I suggested to BFF that we stop and get some just because they were donuts.  And of course…they were Mickey shaped and delicious.  So not only did we fulfill our goal for that day but also discovered another must snack for us next time.  Also noted, you should not try to talk while eating these as powdered sugar will attempt to live in your lungs causing a coughing fit to end all coughing fits and also end up with both you and BFF covered in powdered sugar.

Mmmmmm....Disney Diabeetus continues
Mmmmmm….Disney Diabeetus continues

By day four, we knew we had one last day to successfully eat something Mickey shaped to achieve our trip goal.  Since we needed to continue our Disney Diabeetus, we decided to head over to the Jolly Holiday Bakery and feed that sugar rush.  It was here we had a hard time deciding on either a brownie or cookie shaped like Mickey but settled on the sugar cookie as we couldn’t resist its softness and we knew from its size we could easily share it.  After rolling away from that table as well, we were pretty proud of ourselves for competing the trip goal, never once duplicating a snack and still leaving several Mickey shaped items that we had not tried.  I mean, we didn’t get a pretzel, ice cream, candy, brownie, candied apple or many many other things.  But we did get Disney Diabeetus.

The final Mickey shaped item of the trip...so good
The final Mickey shaped item of the trip…so good

Now that I have made you hungry and carving sugar, I have a BIG announcement to make.  This also is why I haven’t been around as much lately.  Drum roll please…..my publisher Inknbeans Press (www.inknbeans.com) has asked me to compile a SECOND book!  What?  Yes, you read that right…a second book full of more crazy Fat Girl Adventures and spreading the Fat Girl Revolution around.  This book will also contain more posts that are original to the book and not published on here so make sure you get your copy when it comes out this summer.  Now excuse me while I go do a Naked Fat Girl Dance of Joy throughout my living  room…and maybe sit down and edit/write or something.

Oh yeah, I didn’t die today.  I did complete a goal of eating something Mickey shaped every day of the last trip but I didn’t die.  I am Fat Girl who has a SECOND book coming out and Disney Diabeetus Running.  The experiment continues….