Ever have an event and you were late? Or almost late? All because you woke up late? For whatever reason, whatever your excuse, it makes you feel so flustered. We all have been there. We hit snooze one too many times. We don’t hear the alarm. We just cannot plain wake up. How about waking up late for a HUGE event? Yeah…that might have happened to me. In Denver. At Book Bonanza. The biggest signing event of my career, and I set the alarm wrong. No really. I felt like The White Rabbit in Alice in Wonderland. This really did happen though and was not a dream. How did this happen? Let me try and explain.
Book Bonanza was a 2 day event with panels and signings over two days. I was lucky enough to be invited to participate as an author and I was super excited to be there. BFF and I drove out (12 hours y’all) which you know meant a continuous concert provided by us to us in the car. I mean how can you go on a 12 hour road trip and not have an amazing playlist? You really cannot. So you know I went and made an epic one. There might have been car dancing. Who am I kidding. You know there was.
The first day of the signing was packed full and more about that later. We were up late hanging out with BFFE and before we fell asleep, BFF and I discussed what time we needed to get up to be ready for the 8 am signing. We decided we needed to be down there around 715 am to make sure we were all all ready and to help #soulmate set up if we needed. I set my alarm and we went to bed. The next morning I felt like I fell down the White Rabbit Hole as it started with this conversation:
BFF: “Hey what time did you set the alarm for?”
Me (still half asleep): “Why? What time is it?”
BFF (panic has now set in): “Holy shit! It is 715! What happened?”
Me (jumping out of bed and checking my phone): “Oh crap! I set the alarm for 715! I was so tired I got mixed up!” Frantic panic has now set in as we both rush around and I text #soulmate to let her know.
BFF (who somehow has magically got dressed already): “I thought I heard a lot of people lining up and wondered why! We got this! We can do it!”
Me (half in my spanx and half trying to brush my hair at the same time): “I am so sorry! Biggest signing of my life and I might be late. I am a hot mess.”
BFF (looks at me half dressed, struggling to even put on Spanx and a brush stuck in my hair. She laughs.): “Oh my God. You are such a hot mess. Stop trying to do two things at once. Would you at least put on your Spanx? You cannot go down there in your bra and half your unders on.”
Me (realizing she looks completely put together. I have now attempted to put deodorant on my legs as lotion and my brush is still stuck in my hair): “How the hell do you look so good right now?” I am also wondering if I put on deodorant at this point.
BFF (gives me a look as she removes the brush from my hair): “Because I am obviously not a hot mess. Duh. I am the BFF and I am amazing.” That she is. Maybe she is a magical creature from Wonderland. Hmmmm.
With that and in 20 minutes, we are out the door and down to the signing. Needless to say in that time, BFF also managed to make me a stiff Arnold Palmer for the signing. Because sometimes a little whiskey helps calm the nerves. I don’t know when she found the time nor do I know how we got ready so fast. We normally are both primpers and take about an hour to get ready. This was a miracle. A Wonderland miracle I tell you.
Oh yeah. I didn’t die today. I was almost late to the biggest signing of my life and realized BFF is some sort of magical creature but I didn’t die. I am Fat Girl who wondered if I even put on deodorant that day Running. The experiment continues…
You know by now that BFF go to the annual Nerdfest that is Phoenix Comicon to get our geek on and one of our favorite things to do is to get our pictures taken with our favorite celebrities from the world of sci-fi and geekery. We plan this out quite carefully actually. It is a fine balance between going to panels to hear the stars speak and ties to grab photos with them. Of course we did it again this year but this year things had changed. What we didn’t expect was to be herded like cattle into pens to our biggest photo opportunity, Alan Tudyk.
For those that are unaware, Alan Tudyk is HUGE in the geek world. He has starred and voiced in things like Frozen, Moana, Wreck It Ralph, Dodgeball, A Knight’s Tale, Dollhouse and our favorite Firefly. We were super excited to get a photo with him and there was no way we were missing it. We showed up 45 minutes early to be put in a LONG line that had already formed. In fact, it went into the exhibition hall and it was super hard to find the end. We just kept asking people if they were there to see Alan Tudyk till we found the end. No employees told us where to go except with a wave of a hand in the general vicinity of the line. It was very frustrating. BUt in line we got and stood because we were not missing this opportunity. Not even if it meant standing in line all day. We are that dedicated.
While standing in line, we ran into our favorite Comicon photo worker. This guy comes in all the way from Chicago to work at Phoenix Comicon and we had the pleasure of meeting him the first year we went to do photos and John Barrowman felt him up in front of the whole crowd. He is amazing and always makes the photo process smooth and fun. I am unsure if I should be afraid or flattered that he recognized us and came over to chat and do his own photo-op with us, but it really did help make the time go by faster. We make our own fun while waiting in line.
Once the line started moving, we all of a sudden realized that we were being shuttled like cattle into pens created with barriers to wait for our photo-op, which was now an hour late. Why? Because they oversold the photo op. I heard several people wondering if they would make the next panel or photo op they had going on due to the delay. We didn’t have anything at Comicon scheduled but we did have other plans we jammed into that weekend (more about that in another blog) At least our wait was not as bad as the day before when Dick Van Dyke was there and people waited ALL day. No really, ALL day and some didn’t even get their photo due to the delay. It was a complete mess from what we heard. Not only did we have to stand in line, but then we are herded into pens. I felt like I needed to have a giant bell around my neck or have my name changed to Bessie. I don’t normally produce milk products but if we were going to be herded into pens, then maybe I should try. It could be another way to earn income. Start my own human dairy. It could be a thing, right? I mean this could be a new career opportunity. We could call it Fat Girl Dairy. It would be a cash cow. Get it? Cash cow? So there we were, shuttled like cattle into the first pen, and then the second pen and finally the third pen. Oh yeah…all before we actually hit the line for the photo-op. I have to tell you though, no one shoved, no one cut in line and people were polite, Nerds may get angry and mad but they did not try to take advantage of the situation. All in all, even though we were shuttled like cattle, we had a good time. We even made cow noises. Yup. That happened. As did this
Even despite the cattle pens and cowbells, we had a great time and managed some amazing photos with our favorite celebrities and our favorite Comicon photo op volunteer. Also, we heard the phase “you two are so adorable” over and over from the celebs. Take a gander….
Oh yeah. I didn’t die today. I was herded like cattle into pens for a huge photo-op, but I didn’t die. I am Fat Girl who needs a cowbell and is contemplating a new career choice with a Human Dairy Running. The experiment continues…
Over SuperBowl weekend, BFF and I went on our annual We Hate The Superbowl trip to Disneyland. We needed a Dole Whip fix you see. We also needed some fun after having so much grief in such a short period. So off to the Happiest Place on Earth it was. Just the two of us. We made it a short trip and good thing we did because who would have thought that poor BFF would get sick. And when she gets sick, she gets SICK. So here is how to tell when BFF is REALLY sick.
The trip started out normally except that BFF complained that her allergies were terrible and that her nose was runny from them. We really didn’t think anything of it to be honest. I mean, I know life was throwing us tomatoes and neither one of us was sleeping much, but we really didn’t think she was sick. I noticed more kleenex growing in a pile next to her in the car like Tribbles, but really I didn’t think she was sick. It was like the kleenex were breeding. And BFF kept insisting it was allergies. Then the coughing started. And I mean coughing. Hmmmmmm…..
Fast forward to one night when we came back to get our jackets to continue the night and so BFF could check in with her Momma. I took the time to lounge on the bed and found a Harry Potter movie to entertain myself. I mean, my feet needed a rest anyways and I was in no hurry to go back. I did run over to the Club and grab us some foods to nosh on once she was done talking with her Momma and filling her in on all the fun we were having. BFF finished her call, came and lounged next to me and we shoved some amazing foods in our gobs. Next thing I know, we are still lounging watching Harry Potter and I realized something….BFF didn’t feel good. There is no way she would let us just lounge in the room and watch a movie if she felt good. I turned to her and asked her how she was feeling. When she looked at me, I could see in her eyes she didn’t feel her best and she replied “I must not feel that good if it isn’t bothering me that we are just laying here watching Harry Potter instead of playing in the park.” I then watched her have a coughing fit and heard her wheezing next to me. I handed her my inhaler and she agreed to use it, feeling better but not admitting she was sick.
Despite her not feeling her best and us deciding she must take it easy, she persevered and got some amazing sleep. We had a great time, despite her still not wanting to admit she was sick and our trip ended a little too soon. We packed up and headed down to load up the car. The valet brought the car around and I started helping put the bags where we wanted them for the drive home. I turned to ask BFF where she wanted a bag and noticed she was on the phone. Thinking she must be talking to her Momma, I figured it out and we climbed in. It was then I heard her conversation and realized what she was doing….making a doctor’s appointment for the next morning. BFF NEVER goes to the doctor unless she feels totally crappy (nurses make the WORST patients). I mean NEVER. Her spleen could be hanging outside her body and she would just slap some Saran wrap and duck tape over it and continue on with her day. Like her spleen should just be hanging around outside her body. Completely normal folks. She once broke her toe and it was hanging off to the side. What did she do? Put it back in place and taped it to the other toe and put on her shoe and came to work. BFF is a badass people. She really never does go to the doctor. Not even for check ups. No joke. So to hear her on the phone making a doctor’s appointment? She REALLY did not feel good. I looked at her questioningly when she got off the phone and she said to me “I think I am sick.” Poor BFF. And what a trooper to power through a trip at Disneyland.
By the way, she was totally sick. Bronchitis. Antibiotics, and inhaler and steroids. But you know, it was just allergies.
Oh yeah. I didn’t die today. I did discover what a trooper my BFF is and wish she would have just admitted she didn’t feel good but I didn’t die. I am Fat Girl with a BFF who can’t ever admit she is sick until she is REALLY sick Running. The experiment continues…
There is a tradition with me, Bubby, Pocket Fiancée and BFF when it comes to birthdays. We usually do dinner and game night. We love game night (as you might have read) and what game we play really varies depending on time and our mood. The birthday person gets to pick dinner and it is usually a really good time. Sometimes we vary and do a movie, but not very often because we really love game night. February is Pocket Fiancée’s birthday month so we all looked at our schedules and planned a night to do a birthday night. BFF soon dubbed it The Sadness Birthday Party.
Let me tell you something about BFF. She doesn’t eat veggies. Like ever. I swear it. She loves meat and potatoes. She must think veggies are the product of The Devil. I think the only veggie I have seen her eat voluntarily is broccoli and usually covered in cheese. How that girl does not have high cholesterol or vitamin deficiencies is really beyond me. She also does not eat fruit. How does she survive? How does she stay so thin? She also does not eat condiments. No sauces, dressings, nothing of the sort. She eats her burgers and salads (when she is forced to eat them) dry. Dry. Who eats a burger dry? That sounds so gross to me. Like eating a dry bun and a slab of meat and some cheese is all BFF puts on her burger. Ugh. That sounds like it would stick to the roof of my mouth and I would choke on the dryness, and since I live alone, there would be no one to give me the Heimlich maneuver and I would continue to choke, thereby ending my own life and dying by a dry burger. What a horrible way to die. I don’t know how BFF does it and doesn’t die. Does she have excess saliva and moisture in her mouth that doesn’t allow her to choke on the dryness? Is this her super power? Is she like a camel and spits at people and her saliva burns like acid? Now that would be an awesome super power. I want acid spit. Maybe that is why BFF eats her burgers dry. To contain the acid spit. Kind of like the creatures on the 8o’s movie Alien. Wait…does BFF have an Alien creature in her and it will explode out of her stomach? Oh no. Maybe my BFF does not have a super power but really has an Alien inside of her. These are the thoughts that keep me up at night. No really. Doesn’t everyone’s brain work like this? No? IT’s just me then? Ok well I will have to decide if I need a flame thrower to kill BFF once the Alien creature explodes out of her gut or be thankful she has an awesome super power. I am so torn.
So, when Pocket Fiancée announced what she wanted to eat for her birthday dinner, you will understand why BFF called it The Sadness Birthday Party. See, Pocket Fiancee is a vegetarian and she wanted what she called a Salad Party. Basically we all brought things for different salads and then we eat them. I didn’t mind, as I love a good salad. BFF, on the other hand, was not so sure on this concept. Being the trooper that she is though, BFF went with me to the store and we got things she would like for a salad. She even bought a dressing! What is the world coming to? She wasn’t going to eat her salad dry? Does that mean she doesn’t have super acid saliva? I was so confused. But I was proud of her for getting things she knew she would eat in a salad. Even if she thought it was sadness.
Upon getting back to my house, Bubby and Pocket Fiancée showed up with even more salad makings and the Salad/Sadness Party began for Pocket Fiancée’s birthday. Surprisingly, BFF made a massive salad and had seconds (guess she really does eat veggies sometimes) AND she used dressing (shocker). We ended the night by watching the Disney movie Moana and I might have seen Bubby get misty eyed during it. BFF did not die from consuming a salad but I bet she pooped better…lets not go there. You don’t even want to know. I still am a bit concerned she might have an Alien inside her…
Oh yeah. I didn’t die today. I did get BFF to eat a salad but I didn’t die. I am Fat Girl still wondering if BFF has an Alien inside her or acid spit superpowers Running. The experiment continues…
This month BFF had to have surgery. Twice. Nothing major and everything is fine but she had to have some lumps removed from her breast. All is benign and good! So don’t you all go worrying cuz she would hate that. She had what is called a phyllodes tumor, which is benign but can turn cancerous, so it had to be removed before it caused trouble. Silly boobie. So, surgery it was and I went with her and her parentals to be her support and to entertain her Momma so she wouldn’t be too stressed. Let me tell you, BFF on meds is hilarious! Also she was pretty hungry which led to the discussion of tacos. Because it was Tuesday. And because tacos. Always tacos.
BFF had to have one of her lumps marked by a wire because it was small and the surgeon wanted to make sure she could find it during the surgery. So that procedure was supposed to take place about an hour before the actual surgery. That had to be done with a radiologist and she said it really was not pleasant. But she returned with a numb boobie and we sat waiting in the pre-op area. From where we were, we could see all the activity of the area and that was quite fun. But the waiting. Ugh. So much waiting. And waiting. And waiting. BFF was scheduled for surgery at 12:45 and had not had anything to eat since midnight. She was starving. So guess what our topic of conversation was? Yup. The food she was going to shove in her gob as soon as she was released. She had quite the list. But topping that list? Tacos. It was, after all, Taco Tuesday and she wanted some tacos dammit. She must have talked about the kind of tacos she wanted for like an hour. And this was before they gave her drugs. BFF’s surgery time came and went. Unfortunately for her, she got bumped back because of trauma patients. This meant one thing. Her boobie was now not numb and she could feel the wire. Also, she was still hungry. I imagine the wire felt like a giant splinter sitting in her boobie so it could not have been that fun. Can you imagine? So BFF did the only thing she could since she couldn’t have tacos. She asked for pain medication.
This is where it got fun. They gave her medication and a few minutes later she looked at me and said “Whoa”. Immediately she said she didn’t like it and could not understand how people could get addicted to stuff like that. Good thing to know BFF won’t suddenly become a drug addict. I won’t have to worry about her becoming a bag lady pushing a shopping cart down the street that contain all her worldly possessions muttering to herself about demons and yelling profanities at people. Oh wait. Maybe I do. But not because of drugs. Just because. Pretty soon the sleepy factor hit her and she was out. Which means this happened.
You knew that would happen right? I mean what else was I supposed to do while waiting? Luckily, only 3 hours after she was supposed to go back for surgery, the crew finally came and got her. Which meant we were left with this image as they wheeled her back.
If you have ever waited for someone in surgery, then you know it can be so long even if it is only 45 minutes or so. We had the joy of hearing some dude eery 15 minutes tell everyone within ear shot of him that he was going to go out and “smoke his cancer”. You go right ahead buddy. Thanks for telling us the umpteenth time. I thought BFF’s Momma was gonna stab him in the eye with a spork from the dining room when he said it for the 4th time. I would have handed her the spork. Just saying. Our hospital does this thing where they give you a tracking number and you can look up on this giant board to see where your loved one is. I felt like all I did was stared at this board waiting to see if BFF was in the recovery room yet. It just kept saying she was in the OR. Even when the surgeon came to talk to us and said she was done and everything was fine, BFF’s number never moved her to the recovery room. It was like she was stuck in permanent limbo! Maybe the Doctor came and picked her up in the T.A.R.D.I.S. and she is flying through time and space. Wait. And she didn’t come and get me? Rude.
Eventually I knew she was in the recovery room. How? Because all of a sudden I got a text from her. I looked at her Momma because I thought she had BFF’s phone but she didn’t. I opened up the text message and started laughing. The text was nothing but taco emojis. A ton of them. Only BFF would subtly let me know she was out of surgery and feeling fine by texting me taco emojis. Best recovery room text ever. Her Momma and I laughed pretty hard over that.
After being discharged, I was helping BFF to the car while her Momma went and got it. She looked at me and said “I am starving. Can you go get me tacos?” Nope. Not happening. I carefully explained to her drug addled brain that I didn’t want to see tacos come back up and I would get her some the next day. She sighed, agreed and again told me could never be a drug addict. Well good, because I didn’t want to have to find her a shopping cart. Although if it came filled with tacos at that point, I am sure she would have just walked down the street muttering to herself and eating tacos. I mean it was Taco Tuesday.
Oh yeah. I didn’t die today. I did, however, have to explain to BFF why she couldn’t have tacos fresh out of surgery, but I didn’t die. I am Fat Girl with a BFF who texts me taco emojis from the recovery room Running. The experiment continues…
I have always heard how girls can have special relationships with their Daddies (being a Daddy’s girl myself) but you can also have a wonderful and close relationship with a grandparent. Grandparents can be so special and I can say without a doubt some of my best memories are the ones with my Grandma. I preferred to spend time with my Grandma and even went there after school. My Grandma was my world and I lost her when I was 18, so I understand having a close relationship with a Grandma. However, I have learned through my BFF, how special a Grandpa can be. You see, both my Grandpas were gone before I was born so I never experienced what it was like to have one until I became a part of BFF’s family. It was then, over 22 years ago, that I was introduced to one of the most special relationships I ever witnessed: the one between BFF and her Grandpa. This week, unfortunately, we lost this beautiful soul of a man at 101 years young and one of the things I can offer her family in our grief are my words.
BFF’s family is like my other family and so I got to witness BFF’s relationship with her Grandpa all the time. Truly, this was one of the most precious relationships I have ever witnessed. BFF spent as much time as she could with her Grandpa, taking care of him when he was sick, sitting with him when he needed to have someone there, talking with him even if he tried to talk in Spanish (she doesn’t speak Spanish), and singing with him. It was obvious to me how much he meant to her and that she would drop everything if he needed anything at all. It never bothered her and she didn’t hesitate. She would just say “It’s Grandpa” with a shrug and a smile.
I was lucky enough to get to know Grandpa at family functions and by hanging out with BFF when she was taking care of him. He was a quiet man but if you asked him a question, be prepared for a long quite involved answer or story. I loved it when he would tell me stories about his past. I learned from these stories that he worked in a mine, rescued a cow from a well and that he was a sort of cattle rustler back in the day. Grandpa told me how he would look to see what cows were not branded and he would take those and brand them with his brand. When BFF and I exclaimed in shock, he shrugged and said “Well. They didn’t brand them so I did.” Yup. Cattle rustler. He even told us how when Grandma was mad at him, he would go out and sit in the shed till he felt he could come inside. I loved listening to these stories when he felt like telling them. What an amazing and full life he led.
One of my favorite things at family gatherings was watching BFF with her Grandpa. She would make him laugh and I really loved it when she would have him sing in Spanish. BFF would start singing and he would join right in, belting out songs one after another. He would throw things at her like an empty (or not) water-glass and she would tell him he threw like a girl, which would make him laugh. She took such great care of him and at the end was there. I got a text from her one night, near the end of his life, where she told me she was sitting in bed just holding hands with him as he slept. I wished I had been there to capture that moment for her. I tried every chance I could get to take pictures of her and Grandpa because their relationship was so precious. I learned how important a Grandpa is from her. I learned that a girl can be attached to her Grandpa and that he could become her world. You could tell when she talked about him how much he meant to her and how much she loved him. I once gave her a framed picture of her and Grandpa for her birthday and she told me it was the best present anyone could have given her.
Grandpa grew to have a special place in my own heart throughout the years. Once when I brought BFF lunch when she was sitting with him, he was already at the table eating and he looked up at me and said. “You are late. I am already eating.” Mind you, it was 11 am and I was right on time. I tried to say I was not late and he just chuckled to himself and said “Nope. Late.” Sometimes he remembered me by the fact that I was from Iowa. Sometimes it was by name (or as close as he could get which might have been Grandma’s name). I always took time to greet him, say goodbye and kiss his cheek, and grab his hand as I walked through the pew at church (even if he did accuse me of pinching him). I was lucky enough to help care for him at times and listen to those great stories. I was always on the lookout every trip to help BFF find the perfect Grandpa gift, whether it be playing cards, cookies, a ball cap or a personalized ornament from Disneyland. I gained a Grandpa over the years. I will miss that. I will miss him.
BFF…thank you for sharing your Grandpa with me. Thank you for allowing me to help care for him. Thank you for showing me how special of a relationship can be between a grandchild and their Grandpa. Thank you for sharing that wonderful man with me. Grandpa…thank you for always making me a part of the family. Even though you were not my biological Grandpa, you were the only Grandpa I ever knew and I miss you.
Oh yeah. I didn’t die today. Sometimes grief feels that way and all I can offer BFF are my words but I didn’t die. I am Fat Girl who learned what it is like to have a Grandpa through BFF Running. The experiment continues…
At the beginning of December, BFF and I decided to try something new…you see Phoenix Comicon had started doing a FanFest last December and our inner geeks were dying to go and get our geek on so we went. I would say this was like Comicon Lite….a smaller version of the main event in June but with a smaller venue, fewer guests and such. It is even held at a completely different place than the main one. We were pretty stoked though, as December means BBC isn’t filming and so this means a lot of BBC stars were going to be at FanFest. We were most excited about two in particular: for BFF it was Gareth David-Lloyd (Ianto from Torchwood) and for myself it was Karen Gillian (Amy Pond from Doctor Who). So, reservations were made, photo ops purchased and the planning began. You all know how BFF and I hate to people but really we hate to people in large crowds and any type of event like this was sure to bring people and not just any people…Comicon people. Let’s be honest….you have read before about the strange people we meet at Comicon and this was no exception. One such incident really stressed why BFF and I do not like to people in this case.
Since this was a smaller event, the main panels were in a largish room, but not as huge as the ballrooms at the convention center. We discovered that this meant not as many people in the panels and you could basically get pretty close to the front without having to wait through the entire day, which I must admit was kind of nice. We had decided to go to a film screening the first day that Gareth David-Lloyd was starring in and hosting the panel afterwards. We had arrived early during another panel (per usual and before we realized we probably didn’t have to do so) and moved up when that panel was over to the 3rd row to get a get view of the screen and of course Gareth himself during the panel. You have to understand something here…BFF is obsessed with Ianto Jones. About as much as she is obsessed with Barrowman. Like legit obsessed. I was afraid she would lick him or something during our photo op but luckily she contained herself and just squealed and jumped up and down afterwards (it was pretty adorable). So there we were, minding our own business, waiting the 30 minutes before the film screening to start when the incident happened.
BFF was crocheting Stormtroopers to give to her family for Christmas and I was messing around on Facebook and Snapchat (follow me there for funny stuff ——> ladymiryaa). No really, BFF was crocheting Stormtroopers. Except for they didn’t have arms so they looked….well….like a penis. No joke, BFF turned to me and asked me what it looked like and without hesitation, I answered “A Dicktrooper”….hence they became known as Dicktroopers till they got their arms attached. No joke. Judge for yourself.
Like I said, we were minding our own business, when a lady came up and asked if the seats next to us were taken. We were the only ones in the entire row. Do we look like we have that many friends? Nope. Seats aren’t taken. Much to BFF’s chagrin, Strange Lady sits right NEXT to her…no comfort chair between them…and let’s just say she is not a small lady. She practically sat ON BFF. I looked around to see if there were other seats this Strange Lady could have taken…pretty sure most of the room was empty. Unfortunately for BFF, this Strange Lady was a talker. Like a she won’t shut up no matter how much you ignore her or have RBF talker. I actually leaned over to BFF at one point and asked her if she wanted to switch seats but she said no. She should have taken me up on it. BFF has since stated that she is the Wife of the Mayor of Poopsville (remember him??) and I believe her. Poor BFF. She was forced to make small talk with the Wife of the Mayor of Poopsville even though she didn’t want to people right then. At all. She was soon spared more chitter chatter when the film started and she shut the fuck up.
After the film was over, Gareth David-Lloyd and the guys who made the film held a panel where people could ask questions and they could talk about the film. It was awesome. So if you ever get a chance to see the movie I Am Alone, do it. You won’t regret it. let me tell you something about BFF and I when it comes to panels at a Comicon event. There is NO WAY IN HELL we are going to get up and ask as question. Ummm…nope. Hard pass. We just enjoy listening to the questions others as and the answers the panelists give. Our introvertness would never allow us to get up and do something like that in public. So we sat, listened and endured the Wife of the Mayor of Poopsville, who by the way, had finally moved over enough to where she was not sitting on top of BFF. The panel ended and the moderator told all those that had asked a question to come up and see him (remember way smaller group of people). We packed up our stuff quickly and tried to get the hell away from the Wife of the Mayor of Poopsville. As we were walking out, we heard her say “Nurse? Oh Nurse? Excuse me Nurse?” (at some point BFF had said she was a nurse to her) and I think we both groaned out loud. We turned around to see her frantically trying to catch up with us and as she did she asked us the most bizarre question. The conversation went something like this:
WotMP: “When you go up to get your prize for asking a question, can I have it?”
BFF (with severe RBF and super annoyed now): “I didn’t ask a question.”
WotMP (confusion on her face): “Yes you did. And the moderator said you should go up and get something. Can I have whatever you get?”
BFF (Murderface has now replaced RBF and she might punch this lady in the vagina): “I did not ask a question.” (mind you we are still walking at this point) followed quickly by me stating: “No she didn’t.”
WotMP (even more confused and adamant): “Yes you did!”
Me (now I am pissed and want to punch her in the throat and the vagina): “No she didn’t. And she never would. So go away.”
At this point we were able to walk away from WotMP and out of the room and looked at each other incredulously. First off, who the fuck are you to ask us if you can have whatever swag or photo or whatever was being given out for asking questions in a small panel? We don’t know you. Neither one of us asked a question. Not once. We might have drooled over Gareth but NEVER would we have asked a question. Secondly, don’t you think we are fans too? We would probably want whatever was being given to us for asking a question so why the fuck would we give it to you? Go away. We are not friends. And lastly…who the fuck do you think you are? Rude. Can you not tell we don’t like to people? OMG….you cannot sit with us. Period. Rude.
This is exactly why BFF and I don’t like to people at events. Unless we know you. Nope. Because of weird rude experiences like this one. Guess we need to practice our #murderfaces instead like someone else we know (BS girls you know who I am talking about!). Seriously we don’t like to people. Despite the WofMP, the day was not a waste because this happened and BFF’s smile says it all:
Oh yeah. I didn’t die today. I did however discover that there is a new level to the weird and rude people you can meet at events like Fanfest which almost made me punch someone in the throat and vagina but I didn’t die. I am Fat Girl working on my #murderface and meeting Ianto Running. The experiment continues…