Today is my birthday (insert fanfare music here) and it got me thinking about what might be my most memorable birthday which is actually hard. Â I am not big on celebrating my birthday but I have had some fun ones with family and friends. Â I tend to do something small with my favorite people and leave it at that. Â I don’t do parties. Â Even as a kid I wasn’t big on them. Â But one party stands out to me because my parentals tried hard to make it a fun one and there was one mishap…the pinata.
I wanted a pinata so bad for my birthday and I don’t even know why. Â I just know my parentals decided to fulfill this for me by making me one. Â I am also unclear as to how it became a ladybug but it did. Â Maybe this was the only shape they could manage or maybe I asked for it (I was a weird kid) but in any case, ladybug pinata it was. Â I was so excited to have this creation and I watched as they made a chicken wire shape and used balloons to create the ladybug. Â Then they proceeded to paper mache it. Â Does anyone even paper mache anymore? Â I remember this was such a big thing when I was a kid. Â You use a mixture of water and flour or cornstarch and soak strips of newspaper in this mixture and layer them on your frame and let them dry. Â It is a long process but as a kid, I thought it was the best. Â What kid doesn’t like taking gooey strips of newspaper and making a ladybug? Â After it was dried then it was painted and then I had to wait for my party to actually break it. Â I was thrilled. Â The highlight of my little life right there.
Day of the party came and to be honest, I cannot remember much except for how excited I was to smash that ladybug pinata. Â Such a weird thing to let kids do. Â You blindfold them, give them a bat or stick and let them swing blindly at a thing filled with candy. Â Nothing could go wrong right? Â Being the birthday girl, I got first shot at beating the crap out of that ladybug and I was ready. Â I swung and hit that ladybug with purpose I tell ya. Â I hit it hard and everyone cheered. Â But I didn’t break it. Â Not one crack. Â Other kids got a turn, swinging that bat with all their might and not one crack. Â So I got another turn and started hitting the snot out of that damn ladybug. Â Nothing. Â My Dad finally took off my blindfold and told me to just go at it. Â I put all my might into it and did it crack? Â Nope. Â That ladybug wasn’t give up her delicious loot of candy. Â Bitch.
My Dad looked at the ladybug and my uncles and they decided to give it a try. Â So there they are…big adult men with a baseball bat beating that ladybug but did she give up the loot that was inside? Â Not at all. Â Not one crack. Â One of my Uncles started wailing on that ladybug and wouldn’t you know it…I got too close in my excitement that he might finally crack open the pinata so I could stuff my face with candy. Â Can you hear the sound of that bat hitting my skull? Â Yup. That totally happened. Â Knocked out at my own birthday party. Â And did they get the ladybug open? Â No. Â I distinctly remember, despite what I am sure was a concussion, my Dad and my Uncles grabbing saws and trying to cut it open. Â My parentals had done such a great job with their paper mache that the ladybug was indestructible. Â You could have used that thing as a weapon I tell ya. Â At some point either with the saw or by driving over it with a truck,. they finally split that ladybug in two and I was able to eat candy to my heart’s content, even if I had a traumatic brain injury from my Uncle (and no I won’t tell you which one….cousins you can guess.). Â Pretty sure my parentals never wanted to make me a pinata ever again. Â Nor did I ask for one. Â Damn ladybug pinata. Â Total fail.
Oh yeah. Â I didn’t die today. Â I almost did when one of my Uncles gave me a traumatic brain injury with a bat, but I didn’t die. Â I am the Birthday Fat Girl who had a ladybug pinata that wouldn’t give up her loot Running. Â The experiment continues…