This summer, my Seester and BIL came for a visit and we planned on doing some fun things, including a road trip up to Monument Valley. It is only a short 3 hour drive from here, yet I had never been there. Both Bubby and BIL are really into photography and are amazing so they wanted to go to get some good pictures. The girls in the family? Well, we were just along for the ride. And the company. The group of us had never taken a road trip together so I had a feeling it would be a crazy trip. I was not wrong. Ever wonder what my family is like crammed into a van at 5 am? Well, you are about to find out. Buckle up. This is MY family we are talking about.
We collectively decided to get up at the butt crack of dawn because we knew that Monument Valley would be upwards of 90-100 degrees by afternoon. Plus we needed to get the minivan we rented back by 6pm. So at 5:30 am, there we were….all of us sleepily climbing into the van with pillows and snacks. We had to have snacks. Any road trip requires them. For reals. Since I was on Wilder Way, I packed healthy snacks like fruit, nuts, popcorn and yogurt. The rest of us? Lots of junk food for sure. We might have been ensconced in powdered sugar and sprinkles as we pulled out of town.
The van ride was pretty quiet for awhile as us girls slept a bit and the boys chatted up front. Once we all were more awake, the topic of conversation that only my family could have began: what exactly constituted weird butt stuff. I cannot make this stuff up. This is my family. You see a couple of nights earlier, we had game night and of course we played Cards Against Humanity and that was the card we decided to talk about. I have no idea how it came up, but soon a full on discussion of what was weird versus normal (is there such a thing?) sexual butt stuff was occurring. What constitutes “weird” in this topic? I mean isnt the whole topic weird and why are we discussing it? And not just for a few minutes either but for quite awhile. Who does that? Who has a discussion for like an hour on weird butt stuff? My family. I don’t even think we ever came to a conclusion on this topic but I am sure we will revisit it. Because my family is weird and curious like that.
We arrived at Monument Valley and we’re blown away by the beauty and majesty of it all. The drive through it involves a long dirt road but it is so worth it. Take a look for your self.
As we drove through, we kept running into this same car who we soon called the Douchecanoe Car. This guy would pull over randomly on this narrow dirt road to take pictures from his car instead of pulling into the designated areas created for people to do this. He also would pass us on this as we obviously were going to slow for him even though you needed to do so. This guy was a real peach. As we went to go back up to the visitors center to eat fry bread, who should be stuck on that dirt road going up the hill? Douchecanoe Car of course. He was spinning his wheels of his sports car (Not the wisest choice in vehicles for this trip btw) causing a line of cars to sit at the bottom because nobody wanted to be behind Mr Douchecanoe. We decided that maybe someone needed to do scary butt stuff to him. Seriously. He was stopping us from our fry bread lunch. He needed to be destroyed. Ugh. Some people. We finally got up and ate fry bread no thanks to that guy.
I shall leave you with one last picture that acurrately describes my family in three words: weird butt stuff.
Oh yeah. I didn’t die today. I did take a family road trip full of odd conversation and discover some beauty near me but I didn’t die. I am Fat Girl whose family discusses weird butt stuff Running. The experiment continues…