This last trip to Disneyland seemed to be the trip where we got stuck on rides. Earlier I told you about BFF and I getting stuck on Hyperspace Mountain, and while slightly disturbing, nothing was as scary as all of us getting stuck on one of the most terrifying rides in the entire park. One of the rides that I was afraid of dying on. Seriously. Let me tell you about this horrifying experience when Bubby, Pocket Fiance, BFF and I got stuck on the ride that scared us all to be stuck on. Insert shudder here. Hold your children tight everyone because it is that frightening. That’s right. We got stuck on It’s A Small World.
In case you didn’t know, It’s A Small World is a classic ride at Disneyland. It was actually created for the World’s Fair in 1964 and it is a ride all ages can enjoy. If you enjoy hearing the same song sung over and over in all different languages for about 15 minutes. The same exact song. On repeat. With these creepy figures from all the different countries signing it over and over and over. We have actually joked before that this is where all the lost children go and have to live singing that song over and over and over. It will stick in your head. I am not kidding. It is a ride that we usually avoid, except if we are there when the Christmas display is up or if it is extremely hot out because it is air-conditioned. The only reason we rode it this time was because Pocket Fiance had never ridden it and it really is a classic ride. So we decided to grin and bear it not knowing we might be facing imminent death getting stuck on it.
Luckily, the line for the ride wasn’t long and we got in a boat with others and began our journey into hell….I mean into the ride. About half way, we think, our boat suddenly stops. Just stops. We watch as the boat in front of us disappeared into the next room and there we sit. Alone. Trapped in a room of creepy dolls singing the same song over and over. Their creepy smiles and weird mouths moving to mimic them singing this song that is now forever stuck in our heads. I start to panic thinking I might be turned into one of those creepy dolls dressed up from Sweden moving back and forth lip syncing forever. BFF also starts to panic as she doesn’t want to be part of this ride forever and ever either. We all start talking about what we are going to do when Bubby, also terrified, leans over and starts frantically trying to paddle the boat with his arms. I think “Genius! If we an all paddle our way out, the dolls won’t get us!” I almost started paddling when I realized I didn’t want to put my hands in the water that might be infested with some sort of Ebola. Great. So now my choices are risk getting Ebola or be part of the creepy singing doll brigade. Those are not great choices. What do I do? Luckily Bubby and another survivor in our boat had a great idea. He and another person on our boat even manage to grab a hold of the wall, tipping the boat ever so slightly and scaring BFF who is afraid of falling into the water, to try to scoot us along. It gets us going for a few minutes but then we are stuck again, in a wide turn where no one can reach the wall. I am pretty sure at this point that we will die in here, our corpses never to be found because we have turned into one of the creepy dolls. Even Pocket Fiance turns to BFF and I see the fear in her eyes as she realizes we are never getting out of this ride. It is a terrifying thought. The dolls are mocking us or maybe beckoning with their weird eye blinking and creepy big mouths. They want us to join them. Maybe this is why the song repeats because it lures you into a sense of peace so that you will join them. It is the dark side of Disney.
Just as I am about to resign ourselves to the fate of the creepy singing Small World dolls, it happens. Then there is a sudden bump to the back of our boat. We turn and see that another boat has come along and bumped us, sending us on our journey. You can feel the palpable relief fill the boat and we almost cheer. We couldn’t wait for that ride to be over. We practically sprinted out of the boat when it stopped at the end. I am sure people thought we were crazy as we talked about never wanting to go on that scary ride again. You wouldn’t either if you were thinking that those creepy Small World dolls were going to make you part of the ride, doomed to sing that infernal song forever and ever. Nope. Pretty sure it will be quite awhile before we ride that ride again.
Oh yeah. I didn’t die today. We did manage to get stuck on the scariest ride in Disneyland but I didn’t die. I am Fat Girl who really does not want to become on of the creepy mechanical dolls lip synching to the annoying song forever Running. The experiment continues.