The Day Pocket Fiance Discovered I Am A Robot


One of the reasons we went to Disneyland this last trip was to see all the Star Wars:  Seasons of the Force stuff that Disney was putting out special for the geeky fans like us.  Remember how I told you that we went into a building where all these cool Star Wars exhibits were (and where upon exiting I learned I could fly)?  Well, at the top floor of this building was Super Hero HQ, since Disney owns Marvel, and we went up there to meet some Avengers and look at that stuff too.  I mean might as well, right?  It was in this moment that my future sister in law (AKA Pocket Fiance) discovered I am really a robot.

We went up and had our picture taken with Spider-Man first and that was pretty cool.  The cast members really get into these photo ops and some of them were dressed as Agents of Shield and were busy talking with us like they were really secret agents.  Spider-Man was pretty cool and played around with us while posing for photos.  Then as we walked around, we saw we could also meet Thor.  And who doesn’t want to meet Thor?  So we got in line and stood there before a door waiting to get to enter.  BFF and I had met Thor on a previous visit, but I had forgotten exactly what the whole experience was like, maybe because I was so excited to meet Thor.  Okay, I realize it isn’t the REAL Thor, but these photo ops are just as fun for adults as they are for kids.  The door opened and we were ushered into a small room with replicas of props they used in the movies (or artifacts from Thor’s planet, Asgard, as they were labeled).  We stood there wondering where Thor was and suddenly I realized we were actually shut in this tiny room.  That the door had been closed behind us.  Hmmmmm…..what the heck?   We all stood there, confused, looking at each other with might have been a little panic on mine and Pocket Fiance’s faces.

Suddenly, there was a voice above us.  A loud, booming voice stating he was Thor’s father Odin and that we were being taken to Asgard via the BiFrost (the bridge that connects our two planets).  I didn’t sign up for that.  I only signed up for a picture with Thor.  Interplanetary travel was not in the program.  We all started giggling (mine might have been nervous laughter) and Bubby might have said “What the hell Disney?” and then it happened.  Above us, what appeared as gas came out of the ceiling (I now know it was fog)and surrounded us with a loud hissing sound.  At this point, I was convinced we were in a Disney Gas Chamber and we were going to die.  I started to freak out just a bit.  Now let me explain something….sometimes when I freak out, I do this weird very sharp movement with my head that is almost bird like as I look around.  This is what I started doing as I was looking for an escape hatch to what I was sure was going to be my death in Disneyland.  I didn’t want to die trying to meet Thor and end up stuck as one of the dolls in the It’s a Small World ride singing that irritating song for eternity.  What type of living Hell would that be?  A horrible outcome I was sure was about to happen as I frantically looked above me in that robotic, bird like motion and tried not to inhale the Disney gas that was coming down around us.  Of course, that only induced a coughing fit which made BFF concerned my asthma was going to kick in and kill me.  I thought I really might get killed by this gas or my asthma would flare up so bad I couldn’t handle whatever was going on.  My slight freak out caused my future sister in law to burst into laughter as she also exclaimed “Are we being gassed?”  while I said “I think this might be a gas chamber” softly to my Bubby, who also burst into laughter.

As the gas/fog cleared, I looked up and standing before us in a large room that wasn’t there before (what kind of sorcery was this?  Disney magic?), with his arms up in the air, hammer in one of them was Thor.  His booming voice invited us into meet him and I stood there wondering if I was hallucinating from the gas.  It was the best experience I have ever had meeting a character at Disneyland.  Pocket Fiance is still giggling and BFF is shaking her head at me as we filed in to meet Thor. He even picked someone from the  group of people we were with to try and lift his hammer.  We got our pictures taken with Thor and left, finding ourselves still in the same building we were in before. I might have been a little sad we didn’t actually travel to Asgard, but I was grateful I did not end up as a creepy doll in It’s A Small World ride.  I would have been put back in the corner where Ireland has one doll and a leprechaun and been forced to sing that song out of my weird mechanical mouth.  As we left, I stated to everyone that I really did think that we were being gassed at one point and Pocket Fiance started laughing hysterically.  She said when she saw me freaking out that one thought went through her head:  “And on that day,  I learned my sister in law was a robot.”  This made all of us laugh even more hysterically because I can only imagine what I looked like to everyone else in that room/gas chamber.  Like a robot.

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The mighty Thor!

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I did however take a trip to Asgard to meet Thor, in which I really thought we were trapped in Disney gas chamber, but I didn’t die.  I am Fat Girl who is NOT a robot despite what Pocket Fiance thinks Running.  The experiment continues….

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