The Fat Girl Running – Kristann Monaghan

If you have seen pictures of me, then you are aware that I wear glasses because I can’t see right.  I have trouble seeing things far away but not near, so when I do things like read, I tend to take them off.  Otherwise, I end up just looking over or under them to do so.  I also like to wear my glasses because they can be a fun fashion accessory.  The other thing about me that you might not know is that I am super forgetful.  Not about important things, but small things yes.  Like what to pick up at the store, to call someone back or answer an email.  Now, put these two things together and you will get the incident that happened the other night before work.

I was busy getting ready for work and texting BFF at the same time so that we could discuss what type of coffee I was picking us up at Starbucks (venti vanilla soy flat white btw).  I finished putting on my makeup and fixing my hair and went to go prep some snacks for work when I realized my glasses weren’t on.  So I went back to the bathroom to get them.  Hmmm.  Not there.  I searched all over the bathroom counter and could not find them.  I saw my extra pair sitting by my bed, but not the pair I had just been wearing.  I went out to the living room and looked on the coffee table thinking I had left them there.  Nope.  No glasses.  I texted BFF in confusion:

Me:  “I can’t find my glasses.  Like anywhere. How strange.”

BFF:  “Are they on your face?  Your head?”

Me:  “Hahaha.  Very funny.  No.  I took them off to do my makeup and hair and now can’t find them.” (I am now overturning couch cushions in hopes they slipped down there).

BFF:  “You checked the bathroom and the coffee table?  Do you have an extra pair?”

Me:  “Yup.  I am so confused. How do I lose a pair of glasses in my own house?”  (I put on my other pair because I need to finish getting ready for work after frantically searching the bathroom again).

BFF:  “I blame Ninja!  A ghost?”

Me:  “Great.  Now I have a ghost to worry about in my house.  Why do you say such things?”

BFF:  “Because it is fun!  I still say Ninja took them.”

Me:  “Seriously.  How can I lose a pair of glasses I just took off?  They were just on my face.”

BFF:  “THE GHOST!!!”

I have now gone into the kitchen to finish prepping snacks for work.  I opened the fridge to get the makings of a sammie.  There on the shelf in the fridge are the glasses. Ummm. What?  The fridge?  Why the heck are they there?  or better yet, how did they get there?

Me:  “OMG.  I found them.  They were in the fridge.  WTH?  I don’t even remember going to the fridge.  What am I doing?”

BFF:  “Can Ninja open the fridge?  This is hysterical by the way.”

Me:  “This is a blog.”

BFF:  “Yes. Yes it is you dork.”

Yup.  I really am a dork.  I have no idea how those glasses got in the fridge, why I would have put them there, or if Ninja can really open the fridge door.  This shall remain a mystery.  This is also why I keep a spare pair of glasses lying around.  Maybe I do have a ghost in my house.

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I still am trying to figure out the case of the missing glasses, but I didn’t die.  I am a forgetful Fat Girl who apparently puts her glasses in the fridge or has the world’s smartest cat around Running.  The experiment continues….