Mommas Don’t Let Your Children Grow Up to be Assholes


I know I have discussed before about how sometimes BFF and I run into parents at DL that are…well not so nice? Ok Ok…really they are assholes, plain and simple. It seems no matter where you go or how pleasant you are, you always seem to run into some sort of asshole that feels the world owes them a favor. This time, however, it was parents who were also doing a smash bang up job of also teaching their children to be assholes. I mean , really, do you want to teach them this type of behavior? I vote no. So, Mommas, don’t let your children grow up to be assholes.

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The Griswolds ready to party! Halloween party that is….

This all happened the night of the Halloween party while we were at DL.  If you have never done a Halloween party at DL, then you should…at least once.  They are quite epic I tell you.  Special fireworks, parades, trick or treating and villians….ah yes the villians.  I might add that I did see my beloved Maleficent again this year but I did not crush any small children to get to her (ok maybe one or two but they were in my way!)  I was unable to get up close and personal with her again this year…maybe they remembered me being a complete spaz last time and saw me coming. They quickly called for her carriage and she left but before she left, BFF and I did get this epic selfie:

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Most epic selfie ever.

We knew we wanted to watch the parade for 2 reasons: it was the new Paint the Night parade and the kiddos we were with had never watched one. So knowing this and also being aware that you need to sit for a parade well in advance if you want a good seat, about an hour ahead, 3 of us decided to stake out seats on Main Street right on a curb. To be honest, the 3 of us that chose to sit were worn out at this point and actually looked forward to the break. We practically collapsed onto the curb and I didn’t even care if I sat lady like in my Wonder Woman dress at that point. BFFE took the kids trick or treating in the park (which is an amazing experience in itself) while we three sat and zoned out like zombies and people watched for awhile. I don’t even think we said anything to each other for quite awhile. A cast member came up and told us we did not have to sit so early on Halloween party nights, but I was pretty happy just sitting at that point so we all sat. Plus, we knew what would happen if we left those seats. They would be gone. I loved just sitting and watching all the cool costumes and BFF and I proceeded to enjoy some root beer floats as well….as you can see by this lovely snapchat (add me already!):

A little while later, it started to fill up with other families waiting to see the parade as well. We had put jackets and such to save spots for the three that were out trick or treating, but that did not stop some parent from shoving her child right into those spots. I turned around and politely told her we were saving those spots she gave me a death stare, mumbled something under her breath and loudly told her child he needed to move since he was “not allowed” to sit there. She literally then placed him and several of his friends directly behind us. Luckily, BFFE and the kiddos came back soon after and sat down, making the kids move back a bit. As it got closer, I looked down and saw that BFFE’s son was squatting next to the curb instead of sitting on it. Why? Because these kids had literally crowded him out until he could not sit there anymore. When BFFE told him to scoot back and she asked the kids to move, the one kid told us his Mom told him to scoot up till he could see. BFFE kindly and calmly asked him to move and then told the Mom her child was sitting there. The Mom rolled her eyes and muttered under her breath…again. Pretty sure we were looking at another showdown as these kids were just as much assholes as their parents. I was prepared to hold shoes, earrings and stand behind people saying “Yeah! What she said”…since we all know I am good at that in a fight. The kids kept pushing on us, blowing bubbles on us, and stepping on our costumes. These might have been attempts to get us to move but it did not work. The parent kept making rude comments about how we took up the seating for kids but we ignored them. Get to the parade early assholes. There are other ways to not be an asshole, like better planning on your part. But thanks for teaching your kids how to be assholes.  That is always so appreciated by those around them.  Luckily, the parade started and in the excitement, all was forgotten, except for when I got hit in the head repeatedly by a little Tinkerbell who was super excited she was seeing Belle. I get it kid….I get that excited too when I see them.

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Cutest Superheroes around!!

Oh yeah….I didn’t die today. I did, however, almost have a showdown at another parade but I didn’t die. I am Fat Girl asking you please not teach your children to be assholes Running. The experiment continues….

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