Getting Older Sucks Ass


As my birthday came and went this month, I started thinking about what it means to get older.  I mean, there is the obvious body changes and such, but really what does it mean?  It means things might be a little harder than they used to be….or your get up and go has run away and you wanna spend all day on the couch.  Different things hurt in ways that they didn’t use to and your medicine cabinet becomes filled with different items than before.  One of the things I have noticed that has gotten different over the last few years is traveling.

BFF and I usually travel several times a year to DL and I as I was packing for the latest trip, I realized how much my packing has changed.  When BFF and I first started going to DL, I would just throw my clothes and other stuff in a suitcase.  I mean, do you really need much more?  At that time I didn’t think so.  Just clothes and toiletries was all I ever packed.  The millions of miles we walked around the park was never an issue and sometimes we went full speed ahead for several days.  The only thing I used to pack besides my epi pen and inhaler was dramamine in case I got some motion sickness, which sometimes bothers me.  Hence why I do not ride the Cups O’Vomit AKA The Teacups.  Because otherwise I would end up vomiting all over some other unsuspecting family.  Nobody wants to be vomited on while having fun and if you do then that is some sort of sick fetish that I want no part of. It is my worst nightmare that I will get vomited on during a ride.  Absolute worst nightmare.

A few years ago, I began putting some other medications in my bag for DL.  Motrin, Tylenol and blister bandaids.  Because I learned how important those were at the 3 day walk and I always want to save my tootsies.  I mean we do walk on average about 10 miles a day or more when we are there.  I started noticing some aches and pains I had not noticed before like my back and hip from all the walking.  After my kidney was an asshole (once while I was in Texas if you recall), then I started packing prescription pain and nausea medications with me just in case it decided to be an asshole while I am there as well.  I mean, I know DL has its own EMS and nursing staff,  but I don’t plan on ever utilizing this particular service.  That would be a not so fun ride.  After BFF threw out her back a few trips ago, we also started packing Thermacare wraps and pain patches because that sucked for her and the gift shops at the park do not carry those things unfortunately.  However, they do carry Ben Gay ointment in case you wanted to smell like little old person while you are there.  Fat Girl FYI.

Which brings me to what I noticed while packing for this last trip.  I noticed not only the meds in a special bag in my suitcase, but also the large Ziplock baggie full of heat patches, thermacare wraps and a tens unit that can be used on shoulders, knees and backs. I looked at this and thought “OMG.  This is what getting old and traveling looks like.” I now have a whole section in my suitcase dedicated to old person ailments and creams and such. I shall name it Fat Old Person Section. I also might have included some Ben Gay cuz I don’t mind the little old lady smell if it helps me not hurt after walking 10 miles plus while there.  I have come to accept that fact that my body is getting older and I have things that hurt when we walk that far, like my back and hips.  I mean, this is why we take breaks and sit and eat things like Dole Whip and people watch.  I shook my head and closed my suitcase, resigned to the old person section in it.  When BFF and I were on the road and I told her what I had noticed, she laughed and said “I have all that PLUS a heating pad!”  Great minds and all that….

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I did however realize that as you get older, you start to make an old person section in your suitcase but I didn’t die.  I am Fat Girl who might sometimes smell like little old lady from Ben Gay Running.  The experiment continues…

One thought on “Getting Older Sucks Ass

  1. robynchristi November 22, 2015 / 6:51 am

    You might not be getting older, you might just be getting German, my boyfriend ( a german) travel medicine bag contains more pharmacy stock than you would find in a pharmacy!

    Like

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