Recently, I have been walking every day in an attempt to not be fat. So far, I have not noticed a change in the numbers on my scale, but my clothes are fitting better so I guess that is good. BFF has even been walking with her Momma every day. We call it Mission: To Fit Into Our Pants. I even live snap chat on my walks….maybe a prequel to trying a video blog? If you don’t follow me on there you absolutely should….just look up my username of ladymiryaa and follow along. I am pretty honest while I walk. BFF even walked with me one day and about killed me because for being such a tiny little gal, she can walk super duper fast! I mean she kicked my ass but I did walk 2 miles in 30 minutes. So why start the Mission: To Fit Into Our Pants? Let me explain…
Now that fall is here, we need to be able to wear jeans and some days that is a struggle. We have all had those days where we pull out every pair of jeans in our closet in an attempt to find one that fits over one that makes you feel like you are stuffing yourself into a sausage casing. I don’t particularly like jumping around trying to get jeans on past my thunder thighs nor do I like attempting to stuff my fat into the jeans that I swear fit the last time I wore them so that I don’t look like I have a muffin top. I feel like it is counter productive to spend time shoving my fat into pants that it obviously does not want to be in and will eventually escape and pop out at the most inopportune moment anyways. It’s like it pops out to say “Hello world! Just wanted you to know that she doesn’t really fit into these pants and a slight struggle akin to wrestling an alligator might have occurred to get them on so I am here to remind her that she is too fat for these pants.” If you have to lie down to try to zip and button your pants, you might need the mission. If you have to decide if breathing is a necessary part of your day once you get them on, you might need the mission. Now you understand why we started the mission. Putting on your jeans should not be a ritual that includes sacrificing small animals to get them to zip. I should not have to stand in the mirror and see if my stoob is going to create some new weird shape or my jeans are going to be so tight that I have to stand up all day because sitting is not an option. I also do not want to get a weird rash or a yeast infection because my jeans are uncomfortably tight in the vajayjay area. Not cool. Then I will have to try to scratch that area while in said too tight jeans. Not gonna happen. If I do that, I will inevitably give myself a front wedgie that I then cannot pick. It is a vicious cycle I tell you. In reality, this mission also began because BFF and I realized that we are going to DL again soon and we will have to wear jeans and we want to eat. I have, unfortunately realized recently, that I let my weight loss journey go by the wayside and have gained 10 pounds. I refuse to buy new jeans or put on my fat jeans…you know the ones…the ones that are 2 sizes too big. Well, they may not be that right now but I refuse to even try them on. Hence the Mission: To Fit Into Our Pants.
For the past 3 weeks (I think it is),I have been getting up early every day like around 7 or 730 am and walking 1.5-2 miles. This is quite the feat for me because I am NOT a morning person. At all. This is why I work nights. I have taken a couple of days off, but I have been pretty consistent. While I have not seen a pound change on the scale quite yet, I can say my pants fit better. I no longer feel like I need to grease myself up with Crisco or baby oil to put them on. So no more grease stains on my pants. And I have been able to wear more than one particular pair, which I am sure everyone around me is grateful for. I would hate to be the Fat Girl Stinking because all I could do is fit into one pair of pants. That would not be pleasant for anyone. Pretty sure BFF would then insist I buy new pants. And we all know how much I love trying on pants. Let’s see how competitive BFF and I get on this mission….we tend to have that in our nature. I shall keep up the mission (because I need to beat her!) and keep you informed. And seriously if you have snap chat….you need to follow me. You get gems like this video:
Oh yeah. I didn’t die today. I did decide to get off my couch and make sure I could fit into more than one pair of pants but I didn’t die. I am Fat Girl NOT stinking and on a mission Running. The experiment continues….