One Does Not Simply Hike to Mt. Doom or The Quest for the Secret Swing


This past week I was lucky enough to have a visit from my two god daughters, the Reds, for several nights.  Per usual, they were spoiled rotten the entire time they were here.  I also love thinking of new things to do with them while they are visiting, so they don’t get too bored and this time was no exception.  You see, I had heard about this special Secret Swing located up on the mountain behind my house and I was determined to find it.  Just the thought of their being a Secret Swing up on the mountain was intriguing.  Why was it there?  Who built it?  Why keep it a secret?  Is it magic?  Is it protected by faeries?  Is there just one ring to rule them all?  All these questions kept nagging at me and so I got some directions from a couple of co-workers and with the girls in tow, Bubby, Pocket GF and I started out on our Quest for the Secret Swing.  Why?  Because we believe in magic. And in quests.

I wish I could say that we had special weapons with us, magic or even a dragon, but alas we had none of them.  Just water bottles, our cell phones and a cute little doggie named Lola to accompany us.  The Reds were super excited and we made short work of finding our way to the main path into the woods that would take us to Mt. Doom and the Secret Swing.  We accidentally went the wrong way at first but quickly realized our error and turned around.  We got to where one co-worker told us she hikes straight up the mountain we have now nicknamed Mt. Doom to get to our destiny.  We stood there for a few minutes and thought….ummmmmm…..nope.  Not gonna hike up the side of what sure to be certain death with two children in tow just to find a swing.  Nope  Not happening.  I mean, this was straight up a steep hike up the side of Mt. Doom.  Especially with me being asthmatic, the Reds being from sea level and Bubby being a smoker.  Nope.  Luckily, I knew my other co-worker who lived in my hood was up and called her getting the most odd set of directions involving a bed of rocks, several paths and then a hike up to the top of Mt. Doom.  Hmmmm.  We doubted we would be able to find it although Big Red did say maybe we would discover the door to Narnia in our quest and Mr. Tumnus would come out to greet us all.  I must admit, that would be cool. So we continued our trek, finding the directions, once we saw what we were looking for, to be quite accurate in a descriptive way.

Little Red, myself and Pocket GF trying to decipher directions....good thing we didn't have a compass because then we would be lost.
The quest to possibly find the entrance to Narnia

After a short steep trek upwards on a much gentler trail than the side of Mt. Doom, we reached the top and the search began in earnest.  We were quickly realizing that this quest might not come to the end that we had hoped.  The mythical pile of rocks that marked the Secret Swing had yet to be found and we were getting discouraged.  All of a sudden, I see something that could only be described as  pile of rocks in front of a tree and I called out to our group.  Although I had yet to spot the swing, which I am sure was cloaked in magic, we all started running the best you can in the woods towards the rocks.  Bubby yells he sees it and there it is…in all it’s gloriousness.  The object of all our desires…the Secret Swing.  In the middle of the woods, up on top of Mt. Doom, someone had indeed constructed the perfect swing to swing out over the side of the mountain.  It was beautiful.

The legendary swing exists!  We amde it to the top of Mt Doom and we are rewarded!
The legendary swing exists! We made it to the top of Mt Doom and we are rewarded! Now who has the ring?

Happy Dances of Joy were done, virgins sacrificed, and great fun was had by all.  You really could not ask for a more beautiful setting for a swing.  My fat butt even got upon the swing and I had a turn.  It really was a little scarier than it looks if you looked down while you were swinging.  I even called upon my mad selfies kills and managed to take some pics while swinging.  It really is harder than it looks.  Go ahead and try it someday.  If the vertigo you get from trying to take a selfie while swinging doesn’t get to you, you might drop your phone and it might die.  I have mad skills though.

Mad skills I tell you.  WHy is Bubby a creeper?
Mad skills I tell you. Why is Bubby a creeper?
Me attempting to swing....My face though
Me attempting to swing….My face though

After everyone had fulfilled their heart’s desire of swinging, we hiked back down off of Mt. Doom to go eat some burgers cuz we deserved it.  I mean we had just hiked to Mt. Doom to discover its treasure of a Secret Swing.  And no, I won’t tell you how to get there.  No matter how much you beg.  Why?  Because my friends, one does not simply hike to Mt. Doom and discover the Secret Swing.  It is a treasure we shall keep to ourselves…and you can see why….

Beauty...Big Red swinging to her heart's desire.
Beauty…Big Red swinging to her heart’s desire.
My secret little daredevil...take my breath away
My secret little daredevil…take my breath away

Quest completed.  Until our next adventure.

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I did survive the Quest for the Secret Swing and completed the hike to Mt. Doom to still not find the answer if one ring truly rules them all but I didn’t die.  I am Fat Girl believing in the powers of magic and secrets Running.  The experiment continues…

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