It Isn’t a Family Reunion Without Hatchet Throwing


As you read last time, my family reunions are always one that bring the unexpected and some hilarious moments.  Most of our activities are unplanned, like 15 of us taking up an entire row at the movies to see Jurassic World, or the epic Cards Against Humanity game.  I am always amazed that we can find the most bizarre and often country things to do.  My family is always what I describe as “country” and for those who don’t know, yes there IS a difference between “country” and “redneck”.  BFF didn’t believe me till she looked online and found out I (for once) was right.  Go ahead and GTS that and see for yourself.  So being we were out near my Aunty T’s farm, I knew things might get a little crazy and sure enough, one night there was a wholesome family activity of hatchet throwing.  Yup.  You read that right…hatchet throwing.  What?  Your family doesn’t do this at their family reunion?  Apparently ours does…

I am not sure how the subject even came up but all of a sudden, my Daddy is pulling out a homemade target in the outline of a human for people to throw the hatchet at…wait…..are we preparing for the zombie apocalypse or training a bunch of murderers?  Either way, this skill might prove handy someday.  I mean, you never know during the zombie outbreak when throwing a hatchet might come in handy.  It is quiet, and would take the head shot needed to kill a zombie without attracting other zombies.  So, I was all for watching and learning how to throw the hatchet.  The enthusiasm with which my family embraced this activity without any qualms was a little frightening.  Maybe they all want to be prepared for when the zombie plague happens as well.  Either that or there will soon be a rash outbreak of murder by hatchets in Iowa and we will know who is to blame.  Despite my thoughts of what might possibly be wrong with my family, I proceeded to watch and join in on the hatchet throwing.

My Daddy showing the rest of us how to get the perfect head shot on a zombie...I mean hit the target
My Daddy showing the rest of us how to get the perfect head shot on a zombie…I mean hit the target

Now, this hatchet throwing was not just for the older generation.  We even decided to let the little ones give it a go and throw the hatchet at the human target.  Hey…they need to learn how to defend themselves too ya know.  I mean, I don’t want my little cousins not knowing how to get out of a zombie jam if they can’t help it.  It is a vital concern.  The kids were surprisingly good, each hitting the target quite violently with their first try.  I was not so lucky….I finally hit the target the 3rd time, but not nearly with the anger or velocity as my baby cousins.  Guess I need to channel some of their energy into my throwing.  I was surprised, actually, at how hard it was to hit the target so I need to obviously practice on my head shots so I can survive.

My sweet baby cousin (also my mini-me) showin g us all how it is done with one throw.  I want her on my apocalypse team....
My sweet baby cousin (also my mini-me) showing us all how it is done with one throw. I want her on my apocalypse team….

Pretty soon, this happened.  I will just leave it there.  The pic really speaks for itself.  Prepared family I tell ya.

I have no words....I love the boys in our family
I have no words….I love the boys in our family

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I did however contemplate planning future family activities vs letting us come up with our own since we do things like train our children to be dead shots with a hatchet.  I am Fat Girl with a hatchet throwing, gun-toting kind of family reunion Running.  The experiment continues…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s