When you go to a large convention of sorts, like Comicon, you are bound to run into people who are just plain rude. Some people can’t help themselves and some just are completely oblivious to the thousands of other people around them. Sigh. If we all just played nice, then the world would be a better place. But since we can’t, here are my rules for how not to be a dick at Comicon (which, actually, are good rules in general and can be used in any situation). Because let’s face it…sometimes people are dicks.
1. Don’t use paint thinner or turpentine to remove your body paint in a public bathroom. For reals we experienced this. BFF and I walked in to pee, which is normal in a public bathroom, only to be assaulted by this gal removing her body paint with this toxic fumage. First off, why are you carrying around paint thinner in your bag anyways? And what kind of paint are you using on your body to require paint thinner or turpentine? Public bathrooms are not known for their ventilation systems as it is, so why would you remove your body paint with a toxic asthma inducing chemical in there? Pretty sure you should only use that around windows and such….and public bathrooms do not have those. I almost had an asthma attack and if I hadn’t had to pee so bad, we would have found another potty. Good thing is the smell of the turpentine covered up the smell of whatever someone else was doing in the stall next to me as she grunted loudly. I didn’t stick around long enough to find out since the fumes from the turpentine were trying to kill me.
2. Put your pole down. If you are gonna sit in front of people and your cosplay costume involves a pole or staff of some sort, place it on the ground. Don’t sit there with it in the air, thereby blocking the 1000 people behind you from seeing anything in the panel. We actually had to ask a Comicon employee to ask her to put it down. WTF? She caused us to have Resting Bitch Face because she was being such a dick. You are not Little Bo Peep and we are not your sheep…just saying.
3. If you are gonna ask a celebrity a question in a panel, pay attention to the questions that have been asked before you. I mean, asking Jason Momoa to say something in Dothraki he had literally said the minute he walked out on stage? Dick move. Repeating a question that has already been answered or taking 10 minutes to phrase your question with so much babble that no one can figure out what your question is? Dick move. Also…don’t be weird and make the celebrity uncomfortable by asking in front of 5000 fans if you can have a hug. Dick move and awkward. No joke, this guy was uber awkward and practically made my skin crawl so I can imagine how Jason Momoa felt. Nobody wants to look like a dick by turning you down for a hug dude, but you were so creepy and weird about it that it made you look like a stalker. If you are gonna be a stalker, learn how to do it right. Ugh. If a celebrity asks you to not ask for spoilers or to stay way from a topic and you then walk up to the mic and ask for a spoiler? Dick move. Be respectful to their time and the others sitting in the same room with you.
4. Febreeze your costume. If you are gonna cosplay the same costume the entire weekend, febreeze that shit. I mean, we all know you can’t easily wash your handmade Joker costume, but if you are gonna wear it for 3 days in the 115 degree heat, at least febreeze it. We can smell you coming down the hallway. Just saying. At some point, you are gonna be in a small enclosed room sitting next to someone and you stink. Febreeze is your friend cosplayers….because remember, nobody wants to sit next to the Mayor of Poopsville.
5. The last and most important rule on how not to be a dick is to perform at least one random act of kindness while you are there. BFF and I were wandering the vendor hall (where we spend a majority of our time cuz hello! geeky shopping) and we stopped to look at some jewelry a gal had for sale. We started talking to her and she asked us if we knew where people were getting the popcorn she saw everyone wandering around with since she was starving but had nobody to relieve her. We told her where to find it and expressed our sadness at her non popcorn state. As we walked away, BFF and I looked at each other and immediately both said “Let’s go find her some popcorn!” So we went to the first snack station we saw, bought her some popcorn and immediately returned to her booth with it. The look of gratitude and surprise on her face was totally worth it. She even tried to pay us, but we wouldn’t take her money. We know what it is like to be hangry and with the thousands of people there wandering around, hangry is not a state you want to be in. Random act of popcorning accomplished.
If you follow these simple rules, you won’t be a dick at Comicon….we swear it. Everyone around you will have a better time and not be annoyed by you. We can then spend the entire time looking like this:
Oh yeah. I didn’t die today. I did observe some dick moves but I didn’t die. I am Fat Girl who knows how not to be a dick at Comicon Running. The experiment continues…