Why Colleen Hoover Is Like Santa Claus

We all know I think Colleen Hoover is one of the best people on the planet, not to mention on of my favorite authors.  I think I might have mentioned that a few times or two.  Well, I have now decided she is like Santa Claus.  I have not come to this conclusion lightly, but with a great deal of thought.  I mean Santa is pretty magical, but so Colleen.  Pretty sure she would ride across the sky on a unicorn if she could.  For reals.  Let’s discuss why I came to this conclusion.

Last night, There I am sitting on the couch, watching reality tv and eating kumquats.  I mention this because I like to say the word kumquat.  It is a fun word to say.  It sounds a little dirty and also a little weird.  Kumquats are indeed a little weird…sweet and sour all in one bite and wicked addictive….peel and all.  I had forgotten how much I like kumquats so there I was mindlessly enjoying these weird little fruits and squeezing their oil all over the place when BFFE messaged me.  She proceeded to tell me Colleen was doing a giveaway (Reason #1 why Colleen is like Santa…she gives away shit…for free.  Like presents).  Ok…no big deal, Colleen does giveaways all the time.   I figured this one was in relation to her new book that she co-wrote with Tarryn Fisher, Never Never Part 2, that had just come out.  But no.  BFFE blew my mind with the following conversation:

BFFE:  “She is doing a giveaway with YOUR books in it!! Yea!!”

Me (completely confused and trying to not choke on my kumquat I had just shoved in my gob): “What the what?”

BFFE:  “On Facebook.  I tagged you.  Go look.  For reals”

I now have scrambled to open Facebook on my phone and go to where BFFE has tagged me.  This is what I see:

What are those I spy with my little eye?  MY books!!!!!!  On Colleen's giveaway photo!!
What are those I spy with my little eye? MY books!!!!!! On Colleen’s giveaway photo!!

I have now choked on my kumquat and scared Ninka Kitten by screaming out loud “HOLY SHITBALLS!”  (Another reason Colleen is like Santa…she makes you scream uncontrollably when something happens like when you get the present of a lifetime). It might have been screamed a few times actually and again I might have peed my pants a little (which we know also happens with Santa by my previous post about my Seester).  The conversation between BFFE and I then continued:

Me (incredulous and can hardly type):  “What is happening in my world?  It feels like a dream that I just got exposed like that by such a huge author.” (Reason #4…Colleen grants dreams like Santa).

BFFE:  “You so deserve it.  Hopefully people will buy your book.  So excited.  Is this cuz you donated some for Bookworm Box? ”

Me:  “I donated them and told her to use them however she wanted, for a giveaway or in the store.  Never did I think she would use them.  Ever.  First the charity announcement and now this…what is happening?  Am I in a parallel world?”

BFFE:  “Crazy awesome.  That is what it is.  Crazy awesome.”

A few more screams might have come out of my mouth as I reposted the giveaway and watched people like my facebook page of The Fat Girl Running (which of course you should go do right now!!)  Also I will now shamelessly provide you the links to both my books pictured above because I would be stupid not to do so!

The Running Experiment and The Revenge of The Sofa (click on the titles to go buy them cuz I know you want to!!  Then leave me a review to tell me how much you liked it.  Shameless plug I know).  Of course they are also available from my publisher InknBeans if you want to support indie publishing (hint, hint)

Today I have watched my twitter get followed, people follow my blog and more followers on Facebook….it is really like a dream that I got exposed like this and I didn’t even have to get naked, sell my soul to the Crossroads Demon and have Dean and Sam save me (although would that be bad?  Nope.) or sacrifice Ninja Kitten in order for this dream to come true.  Ever since my Seester introduced me to Colleen, I feel like things have happened that I would have normally had to do one or more of the above things for them to occur.  All I did was wish like a child on Santa’s lap….although I didn’t sit on Colleen’s lap.  I could have.  Although then I might have looked like some weird stalker if I had babbled about sitting on her lap and climbing on it at ABF when I met her.  Tarryn would have laughed at me…Colleen might have filed a restraining order.  Especially since I probably would have peed my pants in excitement.  Seriously…I need to wear Depends around that woman.  Colleen Hoover is one of the most generous souls I have ever met (like Santa she fulfills dreams, gives away presents, gives of herself and cheer up people with her writing….need I say more?).  I mean look at all she does to give back to people.  I have seen her countlessly give people copies of her books (she gave me an e-copy of a novella once because I was at work and couldn’t get it!) and raises thousands for charities that she just decided to do.  More and more like Santa every day.  Santa sometimes can be seen ringing the Salvation Army bell afterall…raising money like Colleen.  And Santa is magic that is full of good.  Pretty sure the magic that is in Santa is in Colleen.  Thank you from the bottom of my indie author heart.  Thank you Santa Colleen.

Now excuse me while I go back to eating kumquats….because kumquats is why.

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I did discover that Colleen Hoover is like Santa Claus but I didn’t die.  I am Fat Girl who got a giant wish answered today and also discovered how much fun it is to eat and say the word kumquat Running.  The experiment continues…

One thought on “Why Colleen Hoover Is Like Santa Claus

  1. mugglebooks May 20, 2015 / 7:47 pm

    Oh my God! The Oracle Series’ I See Me looks so Amazing!

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