Sometimes Santa Makes You Pee


Now that the craziness of the holidays is over, I thought I would share with you one of my favorite Christmas memories.  It involves my Seester and I am sure she will be thrilled I am about to tell the world this story.  You have to remember I am about 13 years older than her and so I was a teenager when she was a toddler.  I remember this happened about when I was 16 so she would have been about 3 because I remember getting the coolest phone that year and I was thrilled to get my own corded phone (this was the 80s remember).  Having your own corded phone back in the day was the bomb.  It meant you didn’t have to sit in the family common area and have a phone conversation with your friends.  You could now do that from the privacy of your own room.  It really was magical.  This wasn’t an ordinary old phone either…It was this round creation where it looked like a something that came off of Back to the Future.  I have a hard time describing it, so here:

Coolest phone in 1984/85...I swear
Coolest phone in 1984/85…I swear

For reals.  It was the coolest phone and I wanted one so bad.  Santa was good to me and brought me that magical phone…by now however, I knew Santa was not real so I guess I must thank my parents for the most awesome phone.  I kept up the Santa charade for the sake of my siblings however, so I hyped it up, especially for my baby Seester who loved Santa.  I remember distinctly what she wanted…A Care Bear Sit and Spin.

For those of you too young to know what a Sit and Spin is, it was this toy that was very popular in the 80s where you sat on it and used the center stationary piece to spin yourself into vomit inducing oblivion or until you were so dizzy you couldn’t walk straight.  It was an awesome kids toy.  I mean who doesn’t want a toy that basically imitates the Cups O’ Vomit at DL in their living room?  I think I would love this new version of Russian Roulette if I had a kid.  Will my child barf if she only spins a few times around?  What about several minutes worth?  Will the barf come spewing out as she turns herself around nilly willy, causing a kaleidoscope of colors on my wall, furniture and carpet?  Yeah…this sounds like a great invention.  Pretty sure this toy terrifies me as vomit is the one thing that I cannot do…yup.  It is a terrifying toy.

At home version of Cups O' Vomit...let me jump right on
At home version of Cups O’ Vomit…let me jump right on

Seester wanted one of these so bad that her little 3-year-old self jumped up and down every time she saw the commercial filled with happy smiling children holding back their vomit.  She got right up on Santa’s lap in the mall and poured out her little heart in her squeaky little lispy voice about wanting the desired Care Bear Sit and Spin.  I helped her write a letter with the exact item cut out of a catalog or newspaper ad so that Santa would be sure to know which one to bring.  Mom and Dad knew what they had to do.  It was the only thing on her list, so a Sit and Spin had to be found.  Luckily, Mom tracked one down at a Toys R Us and we could all breathe a sigh of relief.  I could not wait to see her little freckled ginger face on Christmas morning as she realizes Santa brought her the epicenter of her 3-year-old world.

Early Christmas morning, my two younger siblings were up at the crack of dawn, eagerly anticipating seeing what the red suited man had brought them this year.  Seester could barely contain her excitement as she jumped up and down in her little footie pajamas on my bed while we waited for Dad to appear in his robe (we won’t talk about the length of that 80s robe…that is another story) and turn on the Christmas tree. I took both my siblings by the hand and led them slowly out to the living room with their eyes closed.  Once positioned so they could see their loot under the tree, we had them open their eyes.  There, sitting under the magical twinkling lights, was the prized Sit and Spin.  I looked at little Seester’s face to see what her reaction would be.

The minute she opened her eyes, they became as big as saucers and a squeal to end all squeals of delight started to emit from her throat.  Her little plastic coated feet started to do a Dance of Joy when all of a sudden it happened.  In the midst of all this excitement over the Care Bear Sit and Spin, a large wet stain appeared down my Seester’s legs.  Her eyes turned from wide-eyed with excitement to wide-eyed with horror and they filled with tears.  The squeal of delight quickly dissolved to sobs as she realized what had happened.  Seester had peed her footie pajamas.  Mom and I quickly took her to change into a new pair of jammies and calmed the sobbing mess she had become, as well as dumped the urine from plastic reservoirs on the pajamas.  Face washed, new jammies and unders on, she returned to the site of her Santa excitement accident and the goal of her desire.  We placed that little 3-year-old on the vomit inducing toy and watched her spin to her little ginger heart’s delight, laughter filling the house.  Including ours, as Mom, Dad and I realized that it might take an act of God to get her off it…or another need to urinate.

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I did realize that sometimes Santa makes you pee but I didn’t die.  I am Fat Girl with a fear of vomit inducing toys Running.  The experiment continues…

2 thoughts on “Sometimes Santa Makes You Pee

  1. Ildy January 17, 2015 / 3:55 pm

    Hi! I love this story! I have a 10 year older brother who also played along with the whole Santa and Easter Bunny crap for me:)Ah, don’t you just miss the good old corded phone days, when you actually had to call your crush instead of sending a poke on the Facebook?

    Like

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