The Fat Girl Running – Kristann Monaghan

BFF and I went on our annual Superbowl We Don’t Really Care About Football Disneyland trip recently.  This time, we met two of our friends, recently engaged to be married, their twins and the rest of their family there for some fun.  They happen to be taking a whole family vacation and generously allowed us to hang around with them for two days.  Thank goodness they don’t mind two crazy girls like us to make some giggles and good memories.  And leave it to BFF and I to provide the comic relief to any trip.

After spending all day with Twins A and B (and I don’t just use that in reference to their birth order…their Momma really did name them alphabetically), several of the adults came back at night and met up with us so we could ride the big coaster without kiddos.  We quickly made our way to the back of the park, hoping to get on before the water show started and they closed the coaster.  As we came up on the coaster and saw that there was hardly any wait, I thought I felt a slight sprinkle but then shrugged it off as coming off the lake with the wind.  We were stoked that there was only a 5 minute wait and that we had an even number of people to ride (it’s the little things that get us excited I tell you).  As the coaster car pulled up and we climbed in, I stated to our party “Anyone else notice the car is wet?  This is NOT a water ride!”  We pulled around the corner and it was indeed raining.  The Bride-to-be turned and said “Oh this is gonna suck!”  And then the coaster started it’s fast paced ride…

Now let me tell you something.  Rain, in general, does not bother me.  I don’t mind getting rained on and usually love it when we are at DL and it is raining because the park empties out.  Rain on a super speed roller coaster at night is a whole different ball game.  Wanna know what it feels like?  It feels like you are riding along at super fast speeds to an icy death.  Seriously it is like ice pelts are hitting every part of your exposed skin.  The Bride-to-be’s sister yelled as we are being pelted “You can take my life, but don’t take my eyes!”  BFF screamed “Ouch” every two seconds and I yelled back “Why does it hurt SO bad?”  I felt like my face was getting some sort of frozen ice peel as I tried to cover every part of skin that was exposed.  When we ended the ride, I couldn’t tell if the tears were from laughing or pain.  BFF then turned to me and per usual, asked “How is my bang (and yes it is referred to as a bang and not bangs because as BFF says she only has one bang)?” since her hair has a tendency to get a little crazy during the coaster.  Now add rain to that factor and I started laughing immediately when she asked me that.  I told her not to touch it because it was that great.  Everyone turns to BFF and laughter immediately courses through our group.  Bride-to-be is laughing so hard I thought she might pee her pants and cameras immediately come out to take pictures of BFF’s hair….it is that good.  I am giggling now thinking of it.  Judge for yourself.  It’s ok to laugh…we did…hard.

After all the pain and laughs, we decide to…of course…RIDE IT AGAIN because there was no wait.  We are gluttons for punishment I tell you.  One time around being pelted with icy drops of death was not enough for all of us.  No, we decided we needed to experience it one more time.  So yup…we did.  This time BFF yelled that if she covered her face it didn’t hurt as bad.  I yelled back that I didn’t understand why we were doing this again.  After getting off the ride a second time, Bride-to-be’s cousin turned to me and said “Is my face bleeding?  Because I am pretty sure it should be.  These are real tears NOT rain drops!”  The Bride-to-be and her sister both had mascara running down their faces and I was checking to make sure there were not pock marks in my face from the icy pelts of death that disguised themselves as raindrops when we were not on the coaster.  The pics taken on the coaster say it all.  Priceless.

As we wandered in the rain over to Tower of Terror to dry off, we discussed how we were not gonna let a little rain stop us.  The park was practically deserted at this point.  We didn’t care that we were soaked to the bone with rain, that we were cold and shivering, that our shoes squished when we walked or that we couldn’t tell if it was blood or rain running down our faces.  We were determined to get more rides in before the close of the park.  We decided we needed those plastic bracelets like Lance Armstrong’s “Live Strong” but that said “Disneyland Strong”  because not even an icy face peel at some ungodly amount of speed was gonna stop us.  Songs were sung about our bravery and our laughter could be heard throughout the park.  It was a great night.  One that concluded with a long hot shower to warm up.

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I did have another hysterical trip with a great group of people whose adventures will continue in my next blog, but I didn’t die.  I am Fat Girl braving the icy pelts of death on the roller coaster because I am Disneyland Strong Running.  The experiment continues…