The Griswolds Go On Vacation

As you are aware, I recently went on my annual Halloween trip to DL and this time BFF and I were joined by BFFE and her family.  This was an epic combo as the four most indecisive adults in the world went on vacation together with two kids in tow.  I kid you not this was an actual conversation that happened one day:

Me;  “What do you guys want to ride now?”

BFFE:  “I don’t know.  What about you, BFF?”

BFF:  “I have no idea.  Really you guys should decide.  What do you think BFFE’s Hubby?”

BFFE’s Hubby:  “I dunno.  (turns to me) What should we do?”

Me:  “Ok…I give up.  Let’s ask the 9-year-old.”

This trip was one chock full of laughs…I mean we all know me and BFF get ourselves into some crazy situations but add BFFE (who is just like me) and her Hubby (who is just like BFF) and we have the epic funny vacation with the Griswolds.  We should have filmed ourselves because I am pretty sure that only the four of us could get into the situations we got into.  Let me share with funniest moments of the trip…Griswold style.

Since there was only one adult male in our group with three women, we took to calling each other Wife #1, 2 and 3 like sister wives (thank goodness BFFE’s Hubby is good-natured and went along with it like a pimp).  We were in a store and BFFE was up getting in line to pay for some things, when the rest of us decided to go outside and wait for her.  I walked up to where she was in line but could not get her attention but this is the conversation that occurred:

Me (loudly to get her attention):  “Hey Wife #1!”

BFFE (who immediately turned to me):  “What Wife #2?”

Me:  “We are gonna wait outside cuz it is cray-cray in this store”

BFFE:  “All of you, including Wife #3?”  (At this point, the woman in front of BFFE has turned around to stare at us and is now poking the lady she is with…of course I notice)

Me:  “Yeah…both of us, OUR Hubby and the kids (notice the emphasis for the benefit of the rude woman who is now really elbowing her friend, probably giving her a bruised rib in her attempt to get her to notice what she thinks are Polygs at DL)

BFF (who has now walked up to join us and is all casual):  Hey Wifey #1…did Wifey #2 tell you we are going outside with Hubby and the kiddos?”

BFFE: “Yup…see you all out there in a few.  ALL of us wives need to figure out where we are gonna eat too.” (by now, the lady’s friend has noticed and their eyes are bugging out of their heads)

BFF and I say yes in agreement, turn around to join Hubby and BFF grabs Hubby’s hand to make a point to the ladies in line.  Geez…stare much?  We all giggle as we walk out of the store.  I mean…honestly…if we were REALLY sister wives, would we announce it to the world?

The second funny Griswold moment happened in the middle of a crowd.  We were leaving the park at closing with the crush of every other person there and it was seriously crazy making.  Hundreds of people all around us going the same way and running into us left and right.  The 4-year-old in his stroller, who was diagnosed the day before we all left with a sinus/ear infection and has a touch of croup, begins coughing this harsh barky cough. People immediately turn and look with these horrified germ phobic looks on their faces.  BFF, without missing a beat, leans down and says “Oh baby, don’t worry.  We will get you some more tuberculosis meds when we get home.  I thought we had cleared that up before we came, but I guess not.”  You have never seen a crowd of people give another group of people such a wide berth in your entire life.  We actually saw one woman cover her mouth and her daughters as the 4-year-old started coughing again.  The rest of us are laughing our butts off as we congratulate BFF for giving us room to move in the maddening crush.  Apparently, pretending someone has TB is the way to get through a crowd quickly.

The funniest moment by far happened, of course, in the middle of a store.  We were buying the 4-year-old Mickey ears that were Cars themed and were waiting for the Disney cast member to embroider his name on them.  In order to distract the 4-year-old who was getting impatient, BFFE starts discussing with him about how his ears will match his Cars shirt and his Cars shoes.  He got very excited about this.

4 Year Old excitedly to all of us:  “I have on Cars underwears!”

Hubby: “You do?”

4 Year Old:  “Yeah!  Wanna see?”

Hubby:  “No Buddy…I saw them this morning.”

4 Year Old:  “But theys (motioning to everyone else in the store) didn’t.”

Without warning, the 4-year-old then drops his pants in the middle of the store, in front of everyone, to show us that yes indeed, he does have on Cars underwear. He even turned around so the cast member could see.   Hubby graciously says to him “Yeah you do.  Now pull up your pants Buddy.”  Meanwhile, the rest of us are dying from laughter and the cast member is laughing so hard that tears are running down her face.  Only the Griswold family would have a 4-year-old drop trow in the middle of a crowded store just to show us what underwear he was wearing.  It was epic.  And we handled it with the laughter that the situation deserved.  I have talked a lot about parenting fails at DL, but this was a parenting win by far.

All in all, I must admit that it was a fun fun fun trip.  One that only we, as the Griswold Family, could have achieved.  We were a fun group and I hope many more vacations with us all are to come because of moments like this:

The Griswolds ride Heimlich’s Chew Chew Train. What a fantastic group of dorks

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I did almost die of laughter on this trip, but I didn’t die.  I am Fat Girl taking a Griswold family vacation Running.  The experiment continues…

Leave a Reply