I have discussed before how I belong to a group of wonderful women on Facebook who are all committed to losing weight. We give each other support, share our weight woes, and mostly hold each other accountable for weigh ins once a week. It is a pretty amazing group of women and I love all the support we give each other. What is that? You say you wanna belong? Well, you see, there is one little problem. This is a SECRET group. Yup. A secret society of fat girls. You have to know one of us who already belong to get the coveted invitation to even join us and then you have to be approved. So I will pass your request to the committee and you might hear back from us soon if we decide you are worthy. Why is this group secret? Hello! Fat girls don’t usually want to share with the world their eating woes, their weights, or their downfalls. I am quite the exception. I don’t mind shaking out all my dirty laundry (as you have already read) and hanging it out there for the world to read. But seriously….why do fat girls feel the need to keep a wonderful group like this secret? Society has told us that our curves are not attractive. We are not considered healthy, sexy or worthy of attention in most cases. Media shouts at us fat girls that we do not deserve anything that the skinny girls deserve. I say that all you doubters out there can kiss my fat girl stoob. I deserve every single thing that skinny girls get. I deserve respect, love, attention, compliments and I deserve a freaking bra and pair of panties in my size when I walk into your freaking store (Yeah VS…I am talking to YOU! Still bitter and you can still suck it). I also deserve a support group of other fat girls cuz you know what…this fat girl is tired of trying to explain herself to skinny people. You know what? It’s not that easy to lose weight for some of us. Sometimes I am freaking lazy, ok? No, I don’t have a glandular problem. I have a I like to stuff my face with food problem.
And yes, our group chooses to keep it secret from the rest of the world because of insensitive comments people make about weight. Like I said, society has said anything above a size 12 is considered a PLUS size. Are you kidding me? A size 12 is something I would kill to fit into! Hell, I would be content at this point to not have to have a W following my size. W for Wide ASS. Pretty sure. So my little secret society of fat girls have united to give each other the positive feedback and encouragement we all need to get our fat girl butts off the couch. Sometimes we meet for food (of course) and we even have secret handshakes, hats and a language. Oh wait. Nope. My mistake. That is something entirely different. Forget I even wrote that. Shhhhhh. But seriously, I find it slightly sad that society has forced us to keep our group secret because every fat girl in that group is AMAZING and has so much to share with the world (Please…I told you to keep your clothes on girls. The naked fat girl dance of joy is just for us). But secret we will keep it…because us fat girls have got to stick together so we can become former fat girls and suppress our fat girl issues together. You might want to consider becoming a member of the secret society of fat girls if the following applies to you:
- You are the first to say you are hungry when you are with your friends
- Knowing that if you ever had to run for your life, you would probably die.
- When you say something like ” I love these cupcakes”, everyone looks at you like “We know”.
- People ask you when your baby is due. Well if you mean my burrito I had for lunch, then just wait….probably about 40 minutes from now.
- You start a diet and end it the next day. (Pretty sure I have been through half a million diets in my fat lifetime)
- Skinny friends say they are “fat”. What does that make me bitches? A whale?
- Take self photo. Check self photo. Delete. Repeat.
- One word. Chub Rub.
- Being afraid to share any of these posts even if you relate because you don’t want your friends to see. Go on. Share me. In a good way!
I love my secret society of fat girls. Ya’ll are just haters cuz you don’t know the secret password to get in. So go on…form your own! Secret societies of fat girls unite!
On a side note, I will be gone for a couple of days
attending a ninja convention doing the godmother thing so do not fear…the fat girl running will reappear in a couple of days! Until then I leave you with something to ponder:
Oh yeah. I didn’t die today. I did however succumb to sharing some apple pie à la mode prior to eating my luncheon meal with BFF. And damn it was freaking tasty. I am fat girl who belongs to a secret society of fat girls running. The experiment continues….