Fat Girl’s List of Dealing With Stress…Sans Food

Stress.  We all deal with it.  Sometimes I deal with it by eating (Hello Dove chocolate with caramel and your sister Skittles) and other times I have a list of ways to cope.  Since I had a particularly stressful week, I shall share my list with you.  Pretty sure I have tried most of these and the results are pretty hysterical.  And yes, this is MY personal list of how to deal with stress…take it and use it my friends!

  1. Jam miniature marshmallows up your nose and sneeze them out.  See how many you can do at once.
  2. Use your MasterCard to pay for your Visa and vice-versa.
  3. Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on the popper.
  4. When someone tells you to “Have a nice day”, tell them you have other plans.
  5. Make a list of things you have already done and cross them off.
  6. Dance naked in front of your pets.
  7. Put your clothes on backwards and go about your business as if nothing is wrong.
  8. Fill out your tax forms using roman numerals.
  9. Tape pictures of your boss on watermelons and launch them from high places.
  10. Leaf through an art magazine and draw underwear on the naked models.
  11. Stamp “Out To Lunch” on your forehead.
  12. Go shopping.  Buy new clothes.  Sweat in them.  Return them the next day.
  13. Buy a subscription for a porno mag and send it to your boss at the office.
  14. Pay your electrical bill in coins.
  15. Drive to work in reverse.
  16. Tell your boss to “Blow it out your mule” and let him/her figure it out.
  17. Sit naked on a hard-boiled egg.
  18. Polish your car with your butt.
  19. Read the dictionary upside down and look for secret messages.
  20. Start a rumor about yourself and see if you recognize it when it comes back to you.
  21. Braid your armpit hair.
  22. Write a short story using each letter of the alphabet.
  23. Stare at people through the tines of a fork and pretend they are in jail.
  24. Make up a new language and ask people for directions.
  25. Replace the filling of a Twinkie with ketchup and place it back in the wrapper in the break room and wait to see who eats it.

Have fun my friends!  Have fun!  Laughter cures all!  And put down the food when you are stressed…..I did!

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I might have thought I was gonna taking a HUGE test, but I didn’t die.  I am fat girl avoiding the Skittles and reaching instead for the miniature marshmallows to shove up my nose running.  The experiment continues….

8 thoughts on “Fat Girl’s List of Dealing With Stress…Sans Food

    • ladymiryaa February 23, 2012 / 8:36 pm

      AWESOME!!! Thanks so much! Don’t think I have ever been reblogged before and that makes me super happy! Yahoo!!

  1. jenny85201 February 23, 2012 / 8:54 pm

    Pretty sure I love you. Also pretty sure I have a hernia.

    • ladymiryaa February 23, 2012 / 8:56 pm

      Want me to pass you the marshmallows?

  2. jenny85201 February 23, 2012 / 9:05 pm

    I have one to add to the list…. call your best friend at his or her office…. when you hear “hello?” you should respond with “Domino’s Pizza, may I take your order, please?”

    • ladymiryaa February 23, 2012 / 9:07 pm

      So gonna do that!!!

    • Michelle February 23, 2012 / 9:54 pm

      My fav is to answer all incoming calls to my cell phone with “Hal’s Chicken Barn, takeout or delivery?”

      • jenny85201 February 24, 2012 / 8:40 pm

        My brother answers “Disco Pants and Hair Cuts!”

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