Do Not Enter….Plague Here And It’s Snot Pretty


Being sick sucks.  Being sick on your days off sucks even more.  This week I was supposed to be at The Happiest Place On Earth but circumstances changed when BFF had a family medical crisis and we decided to stay.  Probably for the best since I now have the plague.  Damn snot nosed children I work with gave me the plague.  Yesterday I thought I would try to do a work out video at home until I walked from my car to the store and started wheezing and short of breath.  So working out is right now…out.  Pretty sure my head full of snot feels about ten times heavier than it should.  This made me wonder….what if we all walked like toddlers when our heads were too big for our bodies?  It would be like a land of weebles or bobble-heads. And if our heads were that big, would we make things without corners cuz toddlers are pretty notorious for knocking their noggins on corners of things and bleeding.  Which, of course would be better than if we greeted each other like dogs and sniffed each other’s butts.  I can’t imagine going up to someone and instead of introducing yourself, you just sniffed their butt to find out their name and gender and whether or not they like tulips.  Oh the things you can think of when you are layed up and on your couch for days.  Or at least those are the things that run through my snot filled head.  I also started thinking about trying to extract the snot from my head.  At work, we suction kids with a catheter and it was pretty tempting to go up to work to get deep suctioned but first off….ew.  I don’t think I need anyone to see the amount of snot that might come out nor do I need to be gagged having a catheter shoved into my nasal passages to get the snot.  Although inventing a high-powered booger sucker for adults might make me a ton of money and then I could be on that infomercial for the patents (Can you tell a lot of TV has been watched lately?).  Seriously, who hasn’t been sick like this and just wished there was a vacuum type contraption we could shove into our sinuses and suck out all the snot?  I know right now I am wishing for one.  I did try my neti pot last night and the amount of boogers that came out of there was pretty amazing.  Of course, those damn snot producers then went into overdrive and produced even more making it hard to breathe at night.  Ugh.  I hate colds.  I also hate colds because being asthmatic complicates the matters.  Colds go right to my lungs and make it difficult to breathe so inhalers and steroids and sudaphed are my best friend.  On the plus side, my heart feels like it might explode in my chest with all of this. Nice.  Pretty sure working out isn’t gonna happen anytime soon.

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  There might be yellow caution tape and biohazard signs on my doorstep, but I didn’t die.  Well, at least, not yet.  I am fat girl bobble-head full of snot running and it is snot pretty.  The experiment continues……

2 thoughts on “Do Not Enter….Plague Here And It’s Snot Pretty

  1. jenny85201 February 4, 2012 / 1:28 pm

    Feel better, Stann…. love you…. laughing my butt off, but trying not to because it isn’t that funny…. the way you worded it is VERY funny… but my pal sick and full of snot…. WAY not funny.

    Like

    • ladymiryaa February 4, 2012 / 2:28 pm

      At least you are able to laugh without wheezing! Geez going to lunch and Michaels today about did me in!

      Like

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