I love that my last post drew my most readers EVER, sparked some feelings in others and created some dialogue! It was a moment worthy of a fat girl dance of joy (with clothes). But wait….here I must feel I need to defend a word I use every day and especially when I blog. I have had some discussions with people at work, Facebook, email and here on my blog about a word I choose to use to describe myself. That evil of all evil words….FAT. Many of you have asked me why I keep referring to myself as fat. So, today I am defending my choice of a word. I am defending the word FAT.
Why do I call myself a fat girl? Plain and simple…because I am. I make no excuses for being fat. I got here by my own horrible choices in life and choosing to deal with episodes in my life with food. I replaced love with food. I will admit it. So why shouldn’t I call myself exactly what I am…fat. I am 5’4″ and weigh 215 lbs (roughly although my enemy the scale has yet to weigh in this week). That, my dear readers, is quite frankly fat. On my medical chart I am sure it says another word for fat…OBESE. And it might even say MORBIDLY OBESE. That is ok. That is what I am. I am ok with calling myself fat. I am honest enough to look at my body and say that I am fat. It’s like me saying I am Irish. It is who I am. Would you rather I say overweight? What is the difference? Isn’t that just a nice way to say fat? You have to understand, I am a brutally honest person and sometimes my big mouth can get me into trouble for speaking exactly what I think. I have my dear sweet friend Stephen to thank for teaching me it is ok to say what I think. So why are people so uncomfortable with the word fat? Hmmmmm. One of my friends, Jenny, on her blog recently defended my fat girl rant by saying ” I, like many of the ladies on my secret Facebook group, am the first to make jokes about my weight and my journey to get rid of a lot of it. Do you know why we do that? Because we think that if we beat other people to it, their comments might actually strike us as funny, and maybe not hurt so much.” (Shameless plug coming up here….but check out her blog too http://ineedtoicaniwill.wordpress.com/ to read more of her response to my rant). Yes, it is true, many people joke about their weight because it is easier to beat people to the fat jokes. And trust me there are many. Those jokes not only hurt, but make a fat person inwardly cringe at the reality of dealing with their own weight. But for me, the word fat is just plain honest. I am not doing it to beat you to a punchline or to save myself some hurt. It is just an honest way to look at who I am.
But wait….let’s look for a moment at why people are uncomfortable with the word fat. I find this very interesting. Why is it that in our society the word fat is negative? It used to be if you were fat, it meant you were healthy. Fat girls used to be celebrated in the world.
So when did it become that FAT is not a word that you should use to describe yourself? We have cookbooks and products that flaunt the word SKINNY all the time. Skinny Girl’s Cookbook, Skinny Girl’s Cocktails….you name it and things use the word skinny in their title. So, why when I use the word fat in describing myself does this make people squirm in their seats like they need to use the potty or have a really bad yeast infection? Why is it not ok to say I am fat? Does my use of the word make you uncomfortable? Then maybe you need to examine why that word makes you uncomfortable. Did you maybe once call somebody fat and see someone else get uncomfortable? Maybe you are uncomfortable with your own body. I am not saying I am comfortable with mine by any means, but at least I am honest and can look down at my stoob and say “Yup. I am fat.” Your boobs and stomach should not be one entity. Yes, I see my panza hanging over my girl parts and have to move it out of the way to trim the jungle. Yes, I see my fat rolls jiggle when I work out. I dread my scale and my bathroom mirror. I shudder to think of what I look like having sex. Why? That is because I am that dreaded word….FAT. Yes, yes…I hear you all when you say I am beautiful. That is a word I will NEVER get behind in describing myself and makes me squirm but I still use it. But that does not deter from the fact that while I might be this word you call beautiful, I am STILL FAT. Look at my statistics, run them through a BMI calculator. Guess what it will say? That I am FAT. My Wii Fit even tells me “That’s obese” when I step on it to record my weight and then it makes my Mii fat…sad fat little Mii. But guess what? The Wii Fit is right! I am obese, large, overweight, fluffy, chunky, plump, big, plus sized, heavyset, roly-poly, hefty….whatever you choose to say to make you comfortable. According to the thesaurus, however, those are just another way to say what I have been saying all along…FAT.
I make no apologies for the use for the word fat in my blog. I make no excuses for being what I call a Fat Girl. Maybe one day, I will be able to call myself a Skinny Girl, but for right now, I call it like I see it and right now I am a Fat Girl. If you don’t like my use of the word fat, then I suggest you examine why you don’t like it. In the mean time, I will continue to use the word fat in describing myself. It’s the truth. And I am honest. If I am not honest with myself, I will not be inspired to lose the weight. All my friends will tell you I am honest…want me to call you fat? I can if you want…I have no problems with the word and neither should you.
Oh yeah. I didn’t die today. I instead chose to use a word most people feel uncomfortable with….the word fat. I am proud honest FAT GIRL running. The experiment continues…..
Amen to that! FAT it is what it is…. Its a shame society has made us FAT people feel like we are not good enough for them. I love FAT people. They are genuine good people with big hearts. Skinny people are bitchy & hungry. Macho muscle, have too high standards, searching for a trophy who will never make them really happy.
Stann…. I am so proud of you, and so glad to call you friend, and add you to the list of family members. This is so freaking awesome, and I am going to tell everyone I know to read it. This is just the best way I have ever seen it put. FATFATFATFATFATFATFATFATFATFATFATFAT: there, I said it! Fat isn’t a bad word…. fat is just FAT. It is a descriptor. I someday hope to be a Healthy Girl…. although, I think I could live with being a Skinny Girl…. just so long as I don’t become a Skinny Bitch.
Oh…. and thanks for making me famous! You know you are going to get a shameless plug on my blog too!
Any time! I am so proud you are also my friend! Thanks for all your support! And yippee for sharing!!! Healthy Girl is a good one also….We shall get there together. Weight is just a number and we are more than that number
Love, love, love!!! Fat Girls Unite! Funny thing is when I picture myself at a more healthy weight, it’s always like Marilyn Monroe…big boobs with a waist line so I love that picture 🙂 Anyway, you have made me embrace the title Fat Girl. I always called myself a big girl or overweight, never fat. But you since you started your blog, I have learned to embraced my Fat Girl and the journey to become more healthy. I have even taken great pains to explain to my girls the difference between healthy & skinny (I hate that I’ve already had that conversation with them at 8 & 5) as Jer & I both try to be healthier. So thank you from this Fat Girl (as yes, I realize I have capitalized it everytime) who is proud to call you a sister of my heart & loves you!
I love you my sister! So glad I could help you embrace it and help you have those discussions with the girls. I also always picture Marilyn. You are one gorgeous Fat Girl!!
You need to post the pic of you from Cathlin’s wedding where you are channeling Marilyn. I love that pic!
Between you, me and the other wonderful women in their lives, my girls are going to grow up with fantastic body image. Even if that means I have to burn every magazine with a size subzero model in it!
Hell yes they are!
You are one of the most amazing people I know. You have inspired me, even before you started this blog. As someone that struggles with my weight, I hate to see this same problem in my daughter from time to time. Can you believe that she is already dealing with kids at school calling her fat. She is 5′ 7″ and weighs 140. I would love to have that for my scale greeting.
I always look forward to additions to your blog. You make me smile, laugh, cry and sometimes all at the same time. You are honest in a way that I admire and wish I could be, not just with yourself but with others in your life.
You are also an amazing woman JoAnne and don’t ever let that sweet girl of your feel she is anything less than wonderful. I mean, come on…she named her doll after me!! 😉 It is sad that so many girls have to go through what we go through at even younger ages than we did. Just teach her to love herself for who she is….because she is beautiful no matter what!
Ok I get what you are saying. I have the opposite problem-I struggle to keep weight on. All it takes is one cold or stressful day and bam-10 lbs comes off! I am not hungry or a bitch. I appreciate your honesty. My issue with the word fat is that some people-not you-call themselves fat but if anyone else does they freak out. I do however believe we as a society are not doing fat people any favors by sugar coating it or saying you are just big boned etc. But lots of fat people are not as honest as you and simply don’t want to hear it. Oh yea I love it when someone says plus size or curvy and they passed curvy 100 lbs ago lmao! I think alot of people use the word beautiful to describe fat people to make them feel better. You ladies rock-thank you for allowing this skinny nice girl in!
Thank you for reading my blog and sparking this latest installment! I agree with you on the word beautiful and Fat Girls. It is used so frequently that sometimes it is hard for me to even accept it. Just call me what I am…FAT. I won’t be offended! Picking on anyone because of their size, whether skinny or fat, is uncalled for in my opinion. This is why so many girls in our society have body image disorder. We all need to accept ourselves for who we are….
It happened yesterday ladies! A friend of mine who is 5’4 and 275 lbs and lets be honest FAT called me in tears. She had a doctors appt a week ago because of frequent shortness of breath. Well he ran a billion tests and yesterday at her follow up appt gave her the good news that there is nothing wrong with her and her wheezing is due to being obese. Oh and she also has high blood pressure. She is terribly offended and upset at being called obese. She calls herself curvy. Do I think her dr was out of line? Nope. As a skinny girl maybe I don’t get it. Should docs ignore weight related health issues?
Jen….pretty sure you just gave me more food for my blog!
Pretty sure her doc was 100% correct in calling her “obese” because that is the medical terminology. However, as another FAT person, I find the word “obese” horrifying, because it feels like a death knell. I’m thrilled for your friend that this is her only issue and I hope she finds help and support in dealing with it. In my experience it’s not that doctors shouldn’t talk about FAT, it’s that they are generally 100% unsympathetic, usually because they are skinny and have never had a “weight problem” and so have NO idea what it’s like inside our heads (or out in public), where we hear about it ALL DAY LONG. The shaming and unsolicited advice-giving and on and on and on. And although WE ALL KNOW WE ARE FAT, none of us wanted to be here. We had emotional problems or health problems or whatever and we ate too much or had metabolic problems of whatever and now we are FAT in a society that treats you like you are a reject and a moron if you weigh .5 lbs. more than they think you should, let alone if you are medically obese and horrified and terrified. And the docs just tell you to try to eat a bit healthier, like that’s super easy. Because if it was, NONE OF US WOULD BE FAT.