I had something happen today that I have never had happen and at first I was shocked and upset and now I am just pissed. I warn you now that I am pissed and about to go off on a complete stranger. Danger Will Robinson! Danger! Fat girl rant coming on…..Beware! I check my email this am and see someone has commented on my latest post. I love comments, however, this was the FIRST negative comment I have ever had. It wasn’t just negative, but down right mean hearted. I sat here shocked that someone who has obviously never struggled with weight before in their life could say something that mean. Especially to a complete stranger. If I were a teenager, this is what would constitute as cyber bullying. It is apparent that this girl has no idea what it is like to constantly struggle with what you put in your mouth everyday and to know that to admit the struggles is harder than it sounds. At first, I was just going to ignore the comment, but as I was shoveling my driveway, I realized that I was PISSED. I mean fat girl pissed. It is people like this that make losing weight even more of a challenge for some of us.
What was this comment you ask? I didn’t approve it (and maybe I should so that my readers could have a go at her) but it is still sitting there taunting me. This girl, Amy wrote (complete with misspellings and numbers for words which is flipping irritating) “I am sorry 4 your loss but honestly you sound like every other fat person on the planet. Full of exuses and blame as to why you are fat.” I won’t even go into the fact that you, AMY, cannot spell and I corrected your grammar in my head. How about some punctuation? How about learning how to write a comment with words and not letters? I am sure my seester (misspelled on purpose mind you) the teacher is cringing inside. Learning to write well is obviously not in your skill set, but I won’t say that you are full of excuses as to why you cannot seem to spell a little word like for or excuses. You are not sorry for my loss. You are not sorry for anything. Do not give me your fake pity that you seem to think would make your comment excusable. You, AMY, are not excused. You are not justified by leading with that statement. If you were truly sorry, you would have not said anything so hurtful and mean-spirited. What you said, while you think is right, is in fact completely wrong. I blame nobody but myself for my poor eating choices. I am not proud of how I eat. I am not proud of being fat. I admit that I am fat, that MY choices got me here and it is MY choice to not be fat anymore. What you don’t know, my dear miss Amy, is that I have lost over 80 pounds and KEPT IT OFF. My blog is about my struggles to lose weight and to inspire other fat girls like myself to make different choices. Who am I blaming when I admit I eat my feelings? I am admitting something a lot of fat girls do and have a hard time admitting. To admit you eat your feelings, especially during a time of grief, is extremely hard to admit. It means you actually have to deal with those feelings and not stuff them down your throat with another Twinkie or Ho-Ho (or in my case Pop Tarts and Gummi Bears). It means you have to deal with why you are eating in the first place. You have obviously never had a problem with weight or a problem with stuffing your feelings. But you do have a problem with grammar and spelling.
You also have a problem in that you are a Mean Girl. Mean girls make fat girls lives miserable. I have been the object of a mean girl’s ridicule and as an older fat girl, I refuse to take that shit anymore. Girls like you are the reasons why other girls who cannot deal with their feelings end up committing suicide. You make think your negative comment has no effect on a complete stranger or some girl in your class (pretty sure you are still in high school judging by the content of that comment), but trust me, it does an immense amount of damage. It might seem like a funny thing to say, but to a girl who already struggles with their own identity in a world that says a size 0 is normal, it is not. It starts out as a small jab and those small jabs turn into a big hole and this is the hole us fat girls try to fill with food. Mean girls like you, Amy, piss me off. If you were in front of me, pretty sure you would get this rant to your face complete with a punch, a side kick or a key to your car. Or I might just push you in front of a bus. Mean girls like you need to know that it is not ok to talk to people like that. You may have read my post and think you know me, but you do NOT know my story. You know nothing of me. I make no excuses as to who I am. I admit that I want to change and this journey I am on is a hard one but it is MY journey. I blame nobody. That is where you are wrong and had you taken the time to read more of my blog, you would see I blame nobody but myself and make no excuses as to why I am fat. I know why I am fat, but do you know why you are mean? Maybe you should take a minute and examine that.
Again, dear readers, I apologize for today’s rant but fat girls sometimes can no longer stuff their feelings. The mean girls in this world need to realize they don’t run it. I do. And the quicker they realize that a fat girl is in charge, the better it will be! Seriously though, this is a prime example of what goes on in today’s world of cyber bullying and it needs to end. Anonymous comments like this do hurt people. I don’t mind negative comments, because not everyone will get me and my ways, but at least learn to spell! Now excuse me while I go eat a Pop Tart. As for my fellow fat girls, remember this:
Oh yeah. I didn’t die today. I channeled some feelings and shoveled snow very angrily. I am fat girl who is pissed off at mean girls and especially those who cannot be bothered to spell. The experiment continues….