I’m Sexy And I Know It….NOT


Went to the Y this am with the BFF to work out.  Ok I know you are wondering how the heck I managed that with this foot in a walking boot,but let me tell you, working just your upper body can be just a grueling as some cardio.  I promised BFF I would only do the arm machines while she worked it on the elliptical.  I swear that girl kept looking at me to make sure I wasn’t doing anything I shouldn’t be with my foot.  Damn girl.  It’s like she has eyes in the back of her head!  I was good though and really just did the arm machines which by the end of thirty minutes I felt like my arms were jello and every muscle in them was on FIRE!  I avoided looking down at the stoob that had shown itself when I sat down on the machines.  At least it didn’t wiggle like the fat jiggler makes it.  And why is it that they make all the equipment face the mirrors?  I don’t need to see my stoob sitting there all protruding into space.  Oh…and I just have this to say to the guy working out near me who obviously thought he was hot shit…hot shit you are not my friend when your work out shorts slip down and I can see you are wearing boxers that have clearly ripped away from the waistband and have a shit smear on them.  Check it.  Pretty sure I almost busted out laughing but it wasn’t like I could blame it on something on tv since sportscenter was playing.  Don’t mind me folks…I am just amused by the scores on tv.  I mean really…not sexy to have your chonies all out there for us to see when they look like that.  It’s not like I run around with my shirt off flashing my whiter than white stoob at everyone saying  “Look at me and how sexy I am!  You know you want me and I just shaved my girl parts so come on!”  I don’t need to do that….I’m sexy and I know it…..NOT!  But I do love that song so here it is….

I also managed to go grocery shopping without buying too much crap to eat.  Ignore that bag of skittles you see in my shopping bag cuz I have no idea how it got there.  Pretty sure some child thought my cart was her mother’s and put it in there and I didn’t notice till I got home.  I am actually sitting here eating skittles blueberries as we speak as a healthy snack.  Gotta watch how many of these things I eat though.  Once, I ate so many that my poop turned blue.  No kidding.  BLUE!  I was so shocked I almost called somebody in to see it cuz it looked like play dough poop.  Swear it.  Thought I had some weird random third world country disease that makes your poop turn blue and almost googled it till I remembered how many blueberries I had consumed.  That’s when I knew I had eaten too many.  Lesson learned.

Oh yeah.  I didn’t die today.  I work out!  Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle yeah….you can thank me for that song being in your head now but I didn’t die. I am fat girl working her upper body only per BFF and not eating too many blueberries running.  The experiment continues……

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