Slacker City


Really I have no excuses as to why I didn’t work out today. I had every intention of doing so after church. I even came home and ate something so I could go work out. And then this incredulous thing happened….the couch monster wrapped its soft warm arms around me and I snuggled into its cushions only to awaken several hours later. Wow. How did that happen? And I mean I was in a coma for several hours on that damn couch. So instead I did what any couch potato would do when I awoke…I grabbed the remote, turned on the tv and reached for that bag of cheddar cheese popcorn. Yup. Slacker city I tell ya. I must admit that the reality shows on netflix are wicked dangerous and today’s choice was Sister Wives. What is so great about that guy anyways? It is not like he is super cute so why do all these women want him? I think they are in it for the other wives and all the help they get in raising those children but certainly not in it for him. I just don’t get it. And you would think that living near a community of polygamists would help me understand it but I don’t. I drove through there once with my Bubby and some friends just to see what it was like and we were afraid for our lives. It was pretty obvious that we didn’t belong as we rolled through there with our hard rock music, cigarette smoke and tattooed arms hanging out of Bubby’s car. Pretty sure. We actually got followed out of town by some of the town’s residents. Think they would have believed us if we had said we were just looking for a gas station and some smokes? Doubt it. Creepy town. Nope. Sure don’t get that lifestyle. Then again, they probably wouldn’t get me.

So instead I turned to the Walking Dead marathon because we all know my love of the undead. Still think I would survive the zombie apocalypse. I can move pretty fast for a fat girl when I want to move I tell ya. And if I get back into working out and try running again, then I can outrun one of the walkers and not have to be a fattie that goes down in the first wave of victims. Maybe that is really was SOTL man is doing. Maybe he is perfecting the zombie virus and doesn’t want me for a fat suit but rather for food for his experiment. Oh hell no. I will not be a zombie snack. And who waters their lawn in the winter just to see if he can see the fat girl? Pretty sure that is wicked creepy. Why can’t the cop still live next door to me? Beware of strange vans in the hood! Let’s see if he is out there tomorrow as he was today when I drove by….creeper. He better not keep walkers in his garage. Maybe that’s where all the stray animals go from the neighborhood. I think I watch too much tv with zombies.

Oh yeah. I didn’t die today. That’s because I was a total slacker and napped instead. I am fat girl taking a coma on the couch running. The experiment continues…

3 thoughts on “Slacker City

  1. Lydia June Thanatos Alamo November 27, 2011 / 11:16 pm

    Kristann…I totally feel you on becoming a resident of Slacker City. I didn’t take my daily jog, either…I will be eating Hot Cheetos momentarily, in fact. Love your blog!!! I also appreciate that you mentioned outrunning zombies. That’s one of my top reasons to work out at all!

    Like

    • ladymiryaa November 27, 2011 / 11:27 pm

      Lydia: The compelling allure of the couch and hot cheetos….its a hard one to pass up! Plus, we will survive the zombie apocalypse cuz we will run like the wind!

      Like

  2. Cathlin December 19, 2011 / 8:49 pm

    GREAT SHOW! I started watching it on Netflix on demand and loved it too.

    Like

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