Pretty sure I was a drag queen in another life. Â BFF always swears I tend to wear the makeup color choices of a drag queen…..is this a bad thing? Â Is she insulting me or jealous? Â Hmmmmm…..that is something to be pondered! Â I was watching RuPaul’s Drag Race today (don’t judge me for my love of reality tv shows) after shopping in the craziness that is Black Friday (I felt like I was gonna die at Wal-Mart! Â Who needs 30 waffle makers even if they are only $3 a piece?) Â and seriously wishing I was that gorgeous in a dress and heels! Â Seriously. Â I think I might have been a drag queen in a former life. Â I would be a killer drag queen if I were a guy. Â I would rock those crazy outfits with no problems plus all that glitter and makeup and hair! Â Oh….yup. Â Pretty sure I was one. Â If only I was taller….I don’t think my heels make me tall enough to be a drag queen. Â I could pad my flass though….wouldn’t that be something? Â At least then maybe I would come closer to getting a great butt like BFF. Â Damn her and her latina butt. Â Why do I have to be Irish, white and have a flass? Â And really no amount of working out is gonna create that type of butt. Â Might have to take some lessons from those drag queens.
Worked out the other day after work for the first time in a awhile…..I so needed it and ended up looking like the raccoon dipped in a vat of grease with sparkly hair pins (drag queen I tell you) as I didn’t remove my bun I had carefully placed in my hair before work. Â At least I was a glamorous raccoon! Â BFF and I hit the Y and rode the bikes and I was tired when I was done. Â Pretty sure I really need to get my fat flass back in there more often, sparklies and all. Â I was good and didn’t eat too much yesterday although I really could have cuz BFF invited me over and my other family fed me a feast! Yummy nummies! Â I think surviving the craziness of shopping on Black Friday was enough of a workout. Â That was insane. Â Remind me never to take my own life into Wal-Mart next year…I don’t think it was worth it. Â Bubby described it as a pack of ravenous wolves waiting to get at the movies on sale. Â I think he was right. Â Tomorrow I shall at least go for a walk and hopefully walk off that whipped cream I just sprayed into my mouth…what? Â Like you have never done it. Â You know you have. Â Don’t be jealous of my boogie!
Oh yeah. Â I didn’t die today. Â I almost died last night in Wal-Mart as I was almost trampled to death for a $3 mini chopper. Â I think I have PTSD from that experience. Â I am fat girl who was a drag queen in a former life running. The experiment continues…..