Getting fit sometimes is not the easiest thing to get motivated for….trust me this week I have really lacked motivation of any kind (except prepare for the zombie apocalypse) including trying to work out. Maybe it is the post vacation blahs. Maybe it is me still being a fatty. Sigh. I need some serious fire lit under my fat ass this week. Is it wrong that all I wanted to do was put on my flannel jammies and hang out on the couch? Oh that damn couch. I swear it lures me in with its comfiness and remote. I shake my fist at the damn couch in the other room that I know I am doomed to return to after writing this. I mean it is dark outside and cold so I am not gonna go out for a walk or run right now. Good excuse, eh? I think it is my birthday approaching that makes me squirm and cringe cuz I am still a fatty. 41….sigh….yup 41. Dude. It is hard to lose weight when you are over forty. I need to get some inspiration up in this fatties life. Ok readers….motivate me! Or pass me the Doritos if you are joining me on the couch. We could look like this together:
Ok but now I must motivate my fellow gal pals out there of all shapes and sizes to do one thing for me….feel your boobies and get a mammogram! I know…totally random, right? But actually, for me, no. You see next weekend I am participating again in the Susan G. Komen 3 Day For The Cure as a crew member. I really could not get my fat ass to try to walk those 60 miles again. That was the hardest thing I have ever done. So, I am really trying to encourage all of my gal readers out there to please schedule your mammograms ladies. I realize it’s now November and not the national breast cancer awareness month, but DO IT! I have had too many people in my life either fight this cancer or have a scare, including BFF, who last year had to have a breast biopsy due to several lumps in her breast. It was very scary. But really, I must motivate you to do this! Let me tell you about my experience. I decided to have mine done this last year after BFF’s scare because my Aunt is also a six-year breast cancer survivor. My Auntie T means the absolute world to me. I am super close to her. So, when I turned 40, I decided despite the new standards that say you shouldn’t get one till you are 50, I decided to ask my doc for a mammogram and she agreed. She doesn’t agree with those new standards either. Early detection is what it is all about, ladies. Ok…so BFF offers to go with me to my appt. Now, you have to understand, after her ordeal, I was terrified but I decided to brave it myself. I did not feel a lump, but I have a hard time feeling anything in my breasts. Remember, they used to be as large as my head so to me all that fatty tissue always feels lumpy. I will not lie to you and tell you that this was a fun-filled exciting experience. I was scared and it was not fun. First, no deodorant is allowed. Dude. I understand why but phew! Then, they give you this little gown and take you into this closet to get changed into it. thank goodness I didn’t have to remove my pants, cuz that gown was not gonna cover anything but my boobies. Really, they should look at getting a gown for a fat girl. What is with those little patient gowns anyways? It’s like when you go for the duck lip experience (another non fun-filled way to spend your afternoon) and they give you this little gown that barely covers your kooka and a paper to sheet to actually cover it. Really? Does this make you feel any privacy or anything but cold? No. But I digress…onto the mammogram! Into the room I go to this very scary looking machine with big plates attached to it. Huh. Ok…you want me to do what? Put my boob on that plate and let you squish it with another plate till it no longer resembles a boob but more like a pancake of flesh. Pretty sure SOTL guy would like this. But I did it. I allowed some gal to place my breast on that plate and bring the other one down to squish it flat. OUCH. She apologized to which I had to say “Don’t apologize to me. I apologize to you for having to get your face so close to my non deodorized armpit.” We both laughed and that seemed to help me not be so nervous about what might be seen on this flat squishy version of my once perky boobs. Pretty sure the lift I got with my reduction was slightly reduced during this process. Because I have such dense breast tissue still, I had to have several squishes, changing plates several times before we were done. It really didn’t take long and despite my breasts bouncing back into shape like Silly Putty, I was afraid they would be so flattened I would have to roll them up into my bra. A few days later, I got a call. I had to come back. There was a shadow on my mammogram that needed to be looked at again. Now I am scared and now I did ask BFF to come with me, if nothing but to sit in the waiting room while I went through all that again. Then, I am led back to my closet of a changing room to wait to see if I need an ultrasound. Luckily, it was scar tissue from my reduction so I was sent on my merry way to come back in a year to repeat it all again. So see, ladies, if this fatty can do it, so can you. Don’t wait till you feel a lump. Go now. Do this for the fat girl. And for my Auntie T.
Oh yeah. I didn’t die today cuz I didn’t work out. At least I am honest. I am fat girl needing some serious motivation to get my fat ass off the couch encouraging you to feel your boobies! The experiment continues….