I figured out the key to getting up early out of my bed to go running. Â My BFF. Â Thank goodness she texted me and said “I am going to the Y at 0815.” Â This made me responsible enough to get my fat lazy butt out of my oh so warm and comfy bed this am and go meet her there. Â Yup. Â Got up and pulled a dirty sports bra out of the pile. Â No…I didn’t do my laundry yesterday. Â I went back out to the Fair instead and got me some more fry bread. Â And a cinnamon roll as big as your head. Â Don’t judge. Â My stoob commanded I eat it. Â I didn’t eat the cinnamon roll all myself…I had help. Â It was seriously HUGE. Â So therefore, I did not do my laundry because the couch then required my attention. It lured me there with Celebrity Rehab. Â Swear it. Â But I did manage to get up and take my faintly smelling of raccoon grease butt to the Y. Â The knee still is bothering me. Â Had to wear the heavy-duty brace again and didn’t run as fast or as much as I normally do. Â However….I did manage to run a full two minutes and thirty seconds before the pain made me stop! Â That’s longer! Â Even injured I am making some progress. Â I would pat myself on the back but I try to avoid touching my back fat at all costs. Â The knee still hurt pretty good today afterwards so I might have to take a day off to see if it gets any better. Â I don’t wanna have to give up on my experiment due to an injury. Â Although, this could get me out of work for a bit….hmmmmm…..nah. Â I don’t wanna use my PTO on something like that. Â I would rather use it to go somewhere…like DL perhaps!
The treadmill. Â Today it was later than when I went last week so at least I didn’t have to see my fat chin waving at me reflected in the window. Â (Yes…I still see you! Â I know you are there! Â Quit waving already!) However, since I didn’t have the wanna be beauty queen waving chin to distract me, today I got to notice how much the treadmill shook as I ran on it. Â Really? Â Shaking? Â I know I am a fat girl, but come on. Â There does not need to be an earthquake happening underneath my feet as I run. Â Ugh. Â I felt like an elephant running through the Savannah on my way to wallow in the mud hole. Â It seriously shook and rattled my keys in the little pocket as I ran. Â Pretty sure I don’t notice that when I am running on real ground. Â Maybe my neighbors do. Â Maybe that is why creepy Silence of The Lambs guy always seems to be out when I am running. Â He hears his fat suit thundering by and is soon gonna be chasing me down the street with lotion. Â Might need to look for a chicken bone to distract his poodle dog Precious. Â Maybe I do cause little earthquakes as I run. Â Great. Â Just what I needed…for my chatty neighbors to lean outside their doors looking for the elephant running by with a giant pink bow in her hair. Â Nope…not an elephant folks. Â Just the fat girl running. Â Sorry to disappoint. Â I will never be taken seriously. Â It’s bad enough that the other day a neighborhood child decided he wanted to race me on his bike while I ran. Â A bike. Â With a seven-year old on it. Â Hmmmm….bike vs fat girl running. Â Who do you think won? Â I really wanted to reach out and shove my Crazy Cat Lady stick in his spokes when he rode by me the second time and decided to race me again. Â Gee kid. Â Think the outcome is gonna be any different this time? Â If you come by a third time, I might have to push you down and run away. Â Cuz that would be grownup. Â Sigh. Â At least he realized the futility of his race and stopped before I had to humiliate him and smoke him in the next race by jumping on the back of Motorized Wheelchair Guy and winning. Â What? Â That’s more grownup than my other options although I would get more satisfaction in the Crazy Cat Lady Stick idea. Â You know you would wanna do it too. Â You know if you saw me do that you would secretly giggle into your hand and turn away because you wanted to do it yourself. Â True story. Â Don’t judge.
Thought I would share with you my new playlist in case you wanted to try it out. Â I needed another option depending on my mood and after dealing with Racing Boy I needed somewhere to channel my inner anger. Â There seems to be a theme of lots of eye/guy liner and some big hair thrown into this one. Â It’s definitely one that keeps me running/racing. Â So here it is:
- In The End by Linkin Park
- Till The World Ends by Britney Spears
- Dr. Feelgood by Motley Crue
- Edge of Seventeen by Stevie Nicks
- Faint by Linkin Park
- If I Had You by Adam Lambert
- Blow by Ke$ha
- Give Me Everything by Pitbull
Maybe I should take my MP3 player with me next time to the Y so I don’t have to hear my feet pounding on the treadmill and I can ignore the thunderous sounds and shaking of the machine. Â At least I am out there. Â And I need to congratulate several of my readers who are fellow fat girls for getting out there and even walking!! Â WAY TO GO fat girls!! Â We need to start a club with a secret handshake and rituals and dancing naked in the moonlight and sacrifices of poodle dogs named Precious…wait. Â That might be part of a cult I was once in. Â My memory is hazy because of the drugs but pretty sure. But that is for another time. Â Hang on. Â I need to go repress that now.
Oh yeah. Â I didn’t die today. Â Might have started a tremor in the Flagstaff area, but I didn’t die. Â I am thundering fat girl running (where is that mud hole….wallowing in the mud could be fun). Â The experiment continues….
I went to the dr today (drove to Tucson) and I’m sitting in his chair, and he starts to raise it and it groans…and keeps groaning til he stops raising it. I said “your chair could give a girl a serious complex” and he replies “yeah, we got the chair from Weight Watchers” Reading your treadmill story made me think of that. I’m not sure if a groaning chair or treadmill is supposed to motivate a girl or not… things that make you go ‘hmmmm.
you crack me up! Love it…keep it up! 😉 You will have to drag my lazy butt running….